(no subject)
I loathe work more than anything.
the fact that i have to keep track of time because of it, and cant do things that my soul truly wants to do at that time.
Im done.
Im ready to start school and not work until i graduate.
seriously.
and only work like 2 days a week.
because you know what?
i am low maintenance.
i will have my own garden, so i wont have to buy food.
if copher and crystal didnt work at pomps, i would quit right now.
ugh.
No work for me tonight :)
they dont need me :) and i prefer it that way.
i didnt even get to put my app in at taco bell because meghan and he cleaning possee came and picked me up. haha.
so since i dont have work i might go and put it in a lil later.
that fosters just got me kinda drunk.
and i forgot to take my meds so im really feelin it.
haha
all day ive been smokin and lookin/writing/drawing all the things i want to plant in my garden/flower garden.
Odie frock was always so hot.
he still is.
Thomas Delonge lookin motherfucker.
Can i go home yet and start my garden uuuuuuuuuuugggggggggggghh
im not going to work a lot down here like i thought i was. im too eager to enjoy life.
When i see him with other girls, i get jealous, even though i really dont love him anymore.
but when i see him with his fiance it doesnt bother me because i know they are perfect for each other and should be together. :)
this makes my heart bleed happy blood.
fast?
i think i will for the next two days.
i mean, im not eating a ridiculous amount, at all.. but i want to for more.. control purposes.
SMOKING INTERMISSION
I fuckin love weed. i do.
if i could, i would smoke and never eat.
and thats my goal.
haha.
but not in a "i think im fat" way, more in a, mental and physical overpowering thing.
im going to buy a shit load of weed with my paycheck so i never run out.
because if i have it, i will work and be productive and happy alll the time.
speaking of.
like today, i smoked a lot and i just walked around all day lookin for jobs.
but half of the places dont open until like 4 or something and i left at like 1. ugh. so ill have to do it tomorrow.
hopefully its not as hot out tomorrow as it was today.hah.
it was horrible.
im totally being a creeper.
but... its for memorial purposes.
You know. im aware it wasnt long, we didnt spend copious amounts of time together, and weve only gotten drunk together once in our whole relationship ; its like...we just were so.. i dont know...
we werent in love... its just like we were meant to be best friends. like we were both supposed to be a huge part of the other lives for SOME reason. I believe my lesson was to love him, and fall out of love with him and learn all the lessons i learned from him.
And i think i helped him realize that he would always want brit. no matter what.
I am just really bummed that we cant still be friends. I told me happy birthday again, and i told him to never talk to me again because he cant just choose when he wants to be nice, which is true. You cant just... string anyone along like that.
But i would LOVE to still have him call me up just to talk.
it was always fun.
Its like, we were more important to each other than most of the people we saw more often.
it felt like that back then.
like seriously, why else would he call ME at 3 different numbers to talk to me about him and brit never getting back together?
bffs dude.
we used to be.
I love best friends.
i love knowing i can tell them anything and actually CARE about what they have to say, instead of just waiting for my turn to talk.
hell im pretty much going back to vevay just for natalie.
anyways.
too much nostalgia for me, im exhausted.
i want some shrooms or a killer.
mmmm.
the fact that i have to keep track of time because of it, and cant do things that my soul truly wants to do at that time.
Im done.
Im ready to start school and not work until i graduate.
seriously.
and only work like 2 days a week.
because you know what?
i am low maintenance.
i will have my own garden, so i wont have to buy food.
if copher and crystal didnt work at pomps, i would quit right now.
ugh.
No work for me tonight :)
they dont need me :) and i prefer it that way.
i didnt even get to put my app in at taco bell because meghan and he cleaning possee came and picked me up. haha.
so since i dont have work i might go and put it in a lil later.
that fosters just got me kinda drunk.
and i forgot to take my meds so im really feelin it.
haha
all day ive been smokin and lookin/writing/drawing all the things i want to plant in my garden/flower garden.
Odie frock was always so hot.
he still is.
Thomas Delonge lookin motherfucker.
Can i go home yet and start my garden uuuuuuuuuuugggggggggggghh
im not going to work a lot down here like i thought i was. im too eager to enjoy life.
When i see him with other girls, i get jealous, even though i really dont love him anymore.
but when i see him with his fiance it doesnt bother me because i know they are perfect for each other and should be together. :)
this makes my heart bleed happy blood.
fast?
i think i will for the next two days.
i mean, im not eating a ridiculous amount, at all.. but i want to for more.. control purposes.
SMOKING INTERMISSION
I fuckin love weed. i do.
if i could, i would smoke and never eat.
and thats my goal.
haha.
but not in a "i think im fat" way, more in a, mental and physical overpowering thing.
im going to buy a shit load of weed with my paycheck so i never run out.
because if i have it, i will work and be productive and happy alll the time.
speaking of.
like today, i smoked a lot and i just walked around all day lookin for jobs.
but half of the places dont open until like 4 or something and i left at like 1. ugh. so ill have to do it tomorrow.
hopefully its not as hot out tomorrow as it was today.hah.
it was horrible.
im totally being a creeper.
but... its for memorial purposes.
You know. im aware it wasnt long, we didnt spend copious amounts of time together, and weve only gotten drunk together once in our whole relationship ; its like...we just were so.. i dont know...
we werent in love... its just like we were meant to be best friends. like we were both supposed to be a huge part of the other lives for SOME reason. I believe my lesson was to love him, and fall out of love with him and learn all the lessons i learned from him.
And i think i helped him realize that he would always want brit. no matter what.
I am just really bummed that we cant still be friends. I told me happy birthday again, and i told him to never talk to me again because he cant just choose when he wants to be nice, which is true. You cant just... string anyone along like that.
But i would LOVE to still have him call me up just to talk.
it was always fun.
Its like, we were more important to each other than most of the people we saw more often.
it felt like that back then.
like seriously, why else would he call ME at 3 different numbers to talk to me about him and brit never getting back together?
bffs dude.
we used to be.
I love best friends.
i love knowing i can tell them anything and actually CARE about what they have to say, instead of just waiting for my turn to talk.
hell im pretty much going back to vevay just for natalie.
anyways.
too much nostalgia for me, im exhausted.
i want some shrooms or a killer.
mmmm.