(no subject)
U can't sleep and I figure LJ is useful primaril as a way to whine about ones life. So fuck it.
Maybe it's just to late in the day, but I'm really feeling fucking down atm. Most of te things in my life that should be working are collapsing pretty hard. The uni thing has had to be delayed for a semester, Tafe is dicking me around really hard and I'm just not confidant enough in myself to get a job in the industry yet. I know I could bullshit my way though an interview, but once I managed to get in... fuck knows. I'm just not where I wanted to be, nowhere near where I wanted to be. I've got a job that I love, but can't afford to keep much longer as is, my main hobby is on the verge of collapse, I'm losing study options daily and I'm still single. I never thought that last bit would hit me so hard. Oh, I'm still a lardarse, that's not helping the self esteem atm.
I just don't know what to do wit myself. I wake up every day, do the same old thing and nothing ever changes for the better. I don't sleep well when I'm by myself, it's only when I'm sleeping next to someone that my fucking brain switches off and leaves me alone. I can't write any more because the stories just don't come like they should. Nothing fucking works anymore, it's like my brain is breaking down as fast as my body is. I met friends the other day, friends from high school and I couldn't remember any of them. They were complete strangers who knew my face and knew my name and told me I hadn't changed. I hadn't changed since high school... a damning remark if I've ever heard one.
Christ. This realls is a glass and a half of full cream dairy bullshit, isn;t it?
I'd finish up with a joke, or something light hearted, but I can't think of anything.
Maybe it's just to late in the day, but I'm really feeling fucking down atm. Most of te things in my life that should be working are collapsing pretty hard. The uni thing has had to be delayed for a semester, Tafe is dicking me around really hard and I'm just not confidant enough in myself to get a job in the industry yet. I know I could bullshit my way though an interview, but once I managed to get in... fuck knows. I'm just not where I wanted to be, nowhere near where I wanted to be. I've got a job that I love, but can't afford to keep much longer as is, my main hobby is on the verge of collapse, I'm losing study options daily and I'm still single. I never thought that last bit would hit me so hard. Oh, I'm still a lardarse, that's not helping the self esteem atm.
I just don't know what to do wit myself. I wake up every day, do the same old thing and nothing ever changes for the better. I don't sleep well when I'm by myself, it's only when I'm sleeping next to someone that my fucking brain switches off and leaves me alone. I can't write any more because the stories just don't come like they should. Nothing fucking works anymore, it's like my brain is breaking down as fast as my body is. I met friends the other day, friends from high school and I couldn't remember any of them. They were complete strangers who knew my face and knew my name and told me I hadn't changed. I hadn't changed since high school... a damning remark if I've ever heard one.
Christ. This realls is a glass and a half of full cream dairy bullshit, isn;t it?
I'd finish up with a joke, or something light hearted, but I can't think of anything.