The most perfect opening sentence ever

[vashtan]

Via rm

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1218880/One-gay-man-lesbians-legged-cat-poisoned-curry-plot.html

and the first sentence is:

A gay man tried to poison his lesbian neighbours by putting slug pellets

Comments

[erastes]

yes - what HAS he done, exactly?

AND I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT TYPE OF CURRY IT WAS!! *feels cheated*

[vashtan]

Chicken Tikka. Has to be.

[kittymay]

Do lesbians eat chicken tikka?? I mean, I understand why the guy needed to specify that the neighbours were lesbians just in case we, the readers, mistook them for normal, legitimate human beings.

[vashtan]

Well, the guy ordered the curry, so fairly sure it's Chicken Tikka. And, yeah, that "newspaper" is not above using the "freaks" to "entertain".

[kittymay]

Well, I mean, these people do bring it on themselves, don't they? If they'd just stop all this nonsense and be normal, well, it wouldn't happen.

*sighs and twitches lace curtains before turning on daytime tv*

[vashtan]

*offers pink lace doilies*

[kittymay]

May I twitch my lace curtains, Massah?

[vashtan]

You may. *pets*