Comments | vashdonna: How's My Driving?

their_keeper in vashdonna

How's My Driving?

Jan 02, 2020 00:00

If you have a problem with my ideas and/or characters and have been having trouble getting a hold of me, feel free to post your criticism and tips here. I can take it! IP tracking is off and anonymous commenting is on!

⌈ACTIVE MUSES⌋
Not including characters in closed/private games

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*how's my driving?

Comments 12

anonymous May 29 2009, 16:05:41 UTC

Testing that anonymous WORKS!

anonymous August 21 2009, 20:19:54 UTC

Having followed, nosily, to here from the anon meme - you have Adam and that is shiny (I've seen him around dear_mun and he looks pretty spot-on). Unfortunately, I don't... know your other canons. Sry. ):

their_keeper August 21 2009, 20:24:48 UTC

Too bad he didn't last long. I plan on playing him again eventually. Just need to figure out how I'd have his powers work in a game setting, you know?

anonymous August 21 2009, 20:25:59 UTC

Yeah, that makes perfect sense. I had a Horseperson at a game for a little while and they're hard to keep up interest in. It seems like Crowley and Aziraphale are the only two who work well.

goddanit May 4 2010, 19:07:13 UTC

Just a suggestion. All the narration from Kyon is kind of getting to be overload. It distracts from what he's actually saying.

It might help to tone it down a tad to when it would really add something to the comment?

Just a suggestion o/

dannedbygod May 4 2010, 19:16:52 UTC

Lol, yeah. Rereading the thread a few minutes ago I went "....wow. I'm overexcited, aren't I?"

Thanks for pointing it out to me, Ru! :^D

untangles May 4 2010, 19:17:55 UTC

Thanks for listening!

I was just... starting to lose what he was saying. But maybe that was my fault lol.

dannedbygod May 4 2010, 19:19:41 UTC

Nah, it's cool. As I said, it's more me being overexcited about everything. I'm literally sitting at my laptop bouncing and giggling about the whole thing right now. I shall work on.... the monologuing. Not the excitement!

anonymous September 27 2010, 19:45:57 UTC

Cloneko, a.k.a. Kyoko.

1. She comes across as very one-dimensional right now, as if she is all about the flirting. This is looking like a one-trick pony, and her username does not reduce that worry, neither did your first posting. I hope you are going to make her about more than that.
2. I hope this character makes you calm down a bit about the love life of other characters.

If we put these things aside, I think you can do well with this character, if you develop her a bit more and lay low on pasting her all over tropertales until we all got a chance to know her better. This will take time, but she has potential for a good addition to the roster.

this_troper September 27 2010, 19:57:32 UTC

Thank you for the response! I really appreciate you taking the time to reply and am grateful for you pointing these things out. Makes me feel better about the setup as a whole.

Now, this paragraph is me honestly being defensive and I'm getting it out of the way first: her username is for lulz and not meant to be taken seriously. I rarely put any thought into my usernames other than what strikes me at the time I'm creating the journal. That's it. Moving on to the proper reply to crit.

I don't plan on her being all about the flirting for much longer. The "proper" intro was more for lulz than anything else and the post during the event was because I felt the muns needed a break from the IC drama. Right now my plan is to have her focus more on the things she wants to do instead of just flirting with the boys. Things like see a movie in a theater or ride a rollercoaster or fight an orc. Try to grow her out of being as selfish and egocentric as she is. I will develop her more as time goes on, but it will take some time like it does for ( ... )

anonymous September 27 2010, 20:33:24 UTC

The username isn't a problem in itself, I only worried because of the combination of factors.

I did not intend to attack you. I think you can progress the character well.
You said that you were going to have her do more, and that is enough for me. I look forward to see more of her.

I didn't realize anyone would mind about it.

I only found one line strange, but someone else deleted it. It was, by far, the least useful thing I said to you. Do not worry about it.

this_troper September 27 2010, 20:42:32 UTC

Oh, I apologize if I came off as being defensive outside the one paragraph.

Thank you again for the crit. I really do appreciate it and will work on things with her. If you ever see anything else that seems off with her or any of my other characters please feel free to let me know ASAP!