I would rather trek to the other side for my gigs because...
I am just a fool. Desperate.
- I'm desperate to feed my lack of yellowness. Is it down to my desperation for acceptance from Asians? Maybe. I guess I want to feed my shitty ethnic identity crisis because childhood was just bland AF. Then again I'm seen as a 'traitor' who is useless because I'm not as Koreaboo/Weeaboo/massively interested in my own culture than I should be. Although WYF (a fellow traitor to the eyes of haters) and OT12 helped me out - in case you didn't know that. Please go read my previous posts.
- NGL but I am jealous of Ang Mo Kui who manage to pay to go from UK or Europe to Asia. Some of them are already expats, settling in as teachers or talented employees over in Asia so it's easy for them to go to concerts but overall given their skin colour...they get it easier - insert cultural babble. You might see it as simply a matter of "why them and not me?" But then I realise God hates me. But the ones who really do pay from this side and go to the other side of the globe, who use their own salary or student loan...well it makes me realise I never used my loan for that.
- I need a holiday but nobody trusts me. I don't blame them because I'm a fucking late bloomer who can't do shit and therefore people are judging me hard. Fucking childhood shit.
- At an Asian music gig in London...you stupidly try to get the attention of your fave but you can't because you are just an Asian face/a boring face/not pretty/not white...you are simply just a face. Unless you go to a one to one meet and greet and are not hounded to hurry your chat up that's another story. Which leads me to say
- I've grown selfish to share my culture (well lack of it) and I want to feel less unprivileged because being yellow and damn weird does not help matters as easily as it should, no matter how hard I try to sort things out. My life has been a fucking mess since the first day and I was ripped apart because I dared to dream or because I didn't dream enough. No win.
- No I don't think the fans in East and West are any different. Everyone is fucking nuts. I just want to blend in as a fellow yellow I suppose to not feel discriminated (although that's largely impossible since even the non-yellows will get attention anyway if in Asia). The only gig here in London that made me feel 'homely' was JJ Lin. Although of course there were a few Weeaboos lurking, majority of the crowd were Chinese. I'm sure Aaron Kwok's Wembley gig was the same.
**wishful thinking that will never happen...no matter how much Daimoku you do**
- I'm desperate to feed my lack of yellowness. Is it down to my desperation for acceptance from Asians? Maybe. I guess I want to feed my shitty ethnic identity crisis because childhood was just bland AF. Then again I'm seen as a 'traitor' who is useless because I'm not as Koreaboo/Weeaboo/massively interested in my own culture than I should be. Although WYF (a fellow traitor to the eyes of haters) and OT12 helped me out - in case you didn't know that. Please go read my previous posts.
- NGL but I am jealous of Ang Mo Kui who manage to pay to go from UK or Europe to Asia. Some of them are already expats, settling in as teachers or talented employees over in Asia so it's easy for them to go to concerts but overall given their skin colour...they get it easier - insert cultural babble. You might see it as simply a matter of "why them and not me?" But then I realise God hates me. But the ones who really do pay from this side and go to the other side of the globe, who use their own salary or student loan...well it makes me realise I never used my loan for that.
- I need a holiday but nobody trusts me. I don't blame them because I'm a fucking late bloomer who can't do shit and therefore people are judging me hard. Fucking childhood shit.
- At an Asian music gig in London...you stupidly try to get the attention of your fave but you can't because you are just an Asian face/a boring face/not pretty/not white...you are simply just a face. Unless you go to a one to one meet and greet and are not hounded to hurry your chat up that's another story. Which leads me to say
- I've grown selfish to share my culture (well lack of it) and I want to feel less unprivileged because being yellow and damn weird does not help matters as easily as it should, no matter how hard I try to sort things out. My life has been a fucking mess since the first day and I was ripped apart because I dared to dream or because I didn't dream enough. No win.
- No I don't think the fans in East and West are any different. Everyone is fucking nuts. I just want to blend in as a fellow yellow I suppose to not feel discriminated (although that's largely impossible since even the non-yellows will get attention anyway if in Asia). The only gig here in London that made me feel 'homely' was JJ Lin. Although of course there were a few Weeaboos lurking, majority of the crowd were Chinese. I'm sure Aaron Kwok's Wembley gig was the same.
**wishful thinking that will never happen...no matter how much Daimoku you do**