It gets worse..
Okay i'm still out of a job... I looked at my Bank of America Online Balance Statement this morning, and now they are crushing me to -252.09.... This is pure bullshit, I put that fucking ATM Deposit in for 80 bucks on the afternoon of the 6th, and they're like "Oh well since it was deposited after 2pm that was our cutoff time for the day" So they said they wouldn't post it until the next day, which is the cause of this severe ass rapeing they have given me >.> I am so fucked now, my last paycheck that's comming in won't even get close to clearing this balance, and I believe there are more overdraft fee's yet to come, so I am really in trouble now. I didn't even mention I owe this fuckin "allegged" friend like 300-somethin.
I guess I was born to be a fuckin slave. I have nothing left but debts, way too far over my head, so much that it's not even worth living to give them their shit. I don't know what to do anymore... I'm breaking down so much emotionally it's insane. I really DONT want to be here. I feel like i'm living just for those that care about me..
I don't even think my brother whom fled home for a job up in Port St. Lucie even has a job yet, since my mom hasn't seen any money from him yet. My mom can't keep this house without my help, the Mortgage is like 1400 a month, or something like that, and she only makes about 1,200 a month, that doesn't even cover bills.
I've also developed a smoking problem which is the result of the only friends I have now.. This stupid fuckin habbit doesn't help me at all finding jobs that's for sure. I don't really even have anything in common with them either, nor do I really even like them. I mean this one kid is an asshole 89% of the time. There's just some fuckin allure about them that makes me want to chill with them. And it's like this fuckin kid has no other friends of his own, he calls me EVERY FUCKIN DAY. Only way I can avoid that now is to turn off my cell phone.
That brings me to another thing, I don't even think I can get rid of this cell phone without them charging me 250 bucks for a cancellation fee, then I have a piece of crap 300 dollar phone that is no use to me anymore. But this phone plan is killing me on like 64 dollars a month.. which it shouldn't be that high, I switched OUT of my old plan from Sprint to come to this because sprint was charging me 70 a month, so I got out of my contract, fed them 200 bucks, and then bought a 300 dollar phone which I got a 50 dollar rebate which is the reason i'm stuck in this for 2 years.
I have debt collection agencies bugging me over Golds Gym and Wachovia now which I don't even want to talk to because those payments are totally bogus also... I seriously don't know what to do anymore, I want to give up so badly, end this misery.. But I just see the eyes of those who want me here.. I'm not even living for myself anymore, it's mostly for my mom. The one thing I have gained through all this, is that I have absolutely no fear of death. I won't even wear a seatbelt anymore when i'm in a car, simply because I don't care. I look at it this way, if my time comes then I don't want this seatbelt to prevent it from comming and keep me alive through more fucking medical/damage bills. I wish somebody would shoot me.
I hate this place.
I guess I was born to be a fuckin slave. I have nothing left but debts, way too far over my head, so much that it's not even worth living to give them their shit. I don't know what to do anymore... I'm breaking down so much emotionally it's insane. I really DONT want to be here. I feel like i'm living just for those that care about me..
I don't even think my brother whom fled home for a job up in Port St. Lucie even has a job yet, since my mom hasn't seen any money from him yet. My mom can't keep this house without my help, the Mortgage is like 1400 a month, or something like that, and she only makes about 1,200 a month, that doesn't even cover bills.
I've also developed a smoking problem which is the result of the only friends I have now.. This stupid fuckin habbit doesn't help me at all finding jobs that's for sure. I don't really even have anything in common with them either, nor do I really even like them. I mean this one kid is an asshole 89% of the time. There's just some fuckin allure about them that makes me want to chill with them. And it's like this fuckin kid has no other friends of his own, he calls me EVERY FUCKIN DAY. Only way I can avoid that now is to turn off my cell phone.
That brings me to another thing, I don't even think I can get rid of this cell phone without them charging me 250 bucks for a cancellation fee, then I have a piece of crap 300 dollar phone that is no use to me anymore. But this phone plan is killing me on like 64 dollars a month.. which it shouldn't be that high, I switched OUT of my old plan from Sprint to come to this because sprint was charging me 70 a month, so I got out of my contract, fed them 200 bucks, and then bought a 300 dollar phone which I got a 50 dollar rebate which is the reason i'm stuck in this for 2 years.
I have debt collection agencies bugging me over Golds Gym and Wachovia now which I don't even want to talk to because those payments are totally bogus also... I seriously don't know what to do anymore, I want to give up so badly, end this misery.. But I just see the eyes of those who want me here.. I'm not even living for myself anymore, it's mostly for my mom. The one thing I have gained through all this, is that I have absolutely no fear of death. I won't even wear a seatbelt anymore when i'm in a car, simply because I don't care. I look at it this way, if my time comes then I don't want this seatbelt to prevent it from comming and keep me alive through more fucking medical/damage bills. I wish somebody would shoot me.
I hate this place.