The Gauntlet
This is meant as a pleasant interlude in the Sharon Kelly period. I was truly inspired by the project, as I used Kelly English Project as my away message well into the summer. This is a theme that I wrote for her last year, the Huck Finn one where you try to impersonate a character and their point of view. Sorry for the lack of centering. Here goes:
Honors English 5-6 Jason Dennis
Seventh Period October 21, 2002
Huck Finn Theme
Eliot, T.S. “The River Controls Huckleberry Finn.” Excerpted from Introduction to 1950 Chanticleer Edition of Huckleberry Finn. Readings on Mark Twain. The Greenhaven Press Literary Companion Series to American Authors. Ed. David Bender, Bruno Leone, Scott Barbour, and Katie de Koster. San Diego: Greenhaven Press, 1996. 150-155.
Huck Finn Say Tings ’bout dem “Critical Essays”
On behaf a Huck:
Now Huck Finn be catchin’ up on ’is “readin’” and ’is “lit’a’ture”, okay, and ’e hate it. ’Ates it bad. He wanna know if people li’ da book dat he write, so he be readin’ up on dat, a’ight. But, lately, he be readin’ ’bout dese tings dat dese peepo’ wrote ’bout ’is book dat he write, and dey been talkin’ ’bout this odah guy dat he write da book wid--Mr. Twain, an’ Huck be ma’. Very ma’. Huck hire da man because he cannite nine t’ousand wuds a day, okay, not ’cause he be any good! He got ’im so he woul’ write down ’zactly wha’ Huck says’m. And dat’s why ’e got ’im. Da book is Huck’s, not dis odah guys! Now Huck say, ’e believes dat dese peepo’ be way t’into ’is book, see. Huck li’ da riches, but Huck wan’ know, did y’even read de ina’duction!? I don’ memba all o’ it, but I give you gist--it tell you not to ca’ ’bout Huck’s book! It ain’t no metapho’ fo’ no human condition!
Now Huck say dat dese people, dese peepo’ dat wrote dese “critical essays”, ya see, are mad. Dese nam’lah be Mistah Parshall, Mistah Smith, Mistah Eliot, an’ Mr. Morrow. First o’all, Mistah Eliot is da craziest o‘ de lot. Who do ’e dink ’e is, noways? Spellin’ his name all fanciful, with one “l” an’ all. An’ what do ’e know ’bout Huck Finn? Nuttin! All ’e can write ’bout’s cats, noways, an’ only poems ’bout dem, too. What he be doin’ tryin’ ta write a “critical essay” ’bout Huck? An’ dat ain’t even da craziest ding ’bout him, neither. He says da river control Huck! What kin’ o’ stupid man he be? A deef and dumb one, I reckon. Ain’t no rivah can’t contro’ no Huck, noways. Huck make ’is own decisions for ’isself. In ’is “essay”, Mistah Eliot, or Crazy Man, say dat da river is da only ting dat can contro’ a person (151). What a bunch a phooey dat is. He be crazy. An’ later, he say dat da Mississippi Rivah join da east an’ da west (152). Okay, Jim can believe dat, but what it go’ to do with m’fren’ Huck? Nuttin’ again! It seems li’ Mistah Eliot don’t know what he be talkin’ ’bout no mo’. And fartha along say he: “the Boy...is the spirit of the River” (152). Now what in tarnation? Da boi is da sperit o’ da rivah? How can dis be possibo’? It ain’t! Now I b’leeve in hairballs dat can tell da futa’, (an’ dey can fo’ a quatah) and I ain’t even dat crazy! Den he go on ’bout how “Mr. Twain book”--no, I sorry, “Mr. Twain’s novel” is so special ’cause it an acc’ate repesenation o’ society (152). Now I know fo’ a fact dat ev’y book I eva did read was an “acc’ate repesentation o’ society”. Dat’s wot books are fo’! Now don’t go tellin’ me ’bout how Huck’s book be special ’cause dis odah guy wrote it as an acc’ate repesentation o’ society! He say--Mistah Eliot say, dat de stupid rivah is what make de book spesho’ (153)! I don’ tin’ so. An’ also, he say dat we don’ know de impo’tance o’ de rivah unle’ we see hahdship dat we ain’t aware of (152)? What is dis phooey! Of course we know de impo’tance o’ de rivah, we only send steamboats on’t ev’ry day! Gosh, dis man be stupid. Stupid as a bear. No, stupid as a fish. No, even stupider. Now, Jim ain’t the smartest, but he be a genius compare’ ta dis foo’! An’ afta dat, he still go on an’ talk about all dese “themes”. What you mean, teemes? It just be an advencha book, li’ Huck said! Now don’t be meddlin’ in ’is ’ere book! Now, later on de guy say “In Huckleberry Finn, Mark Twain wrote a much greater book than he could have known he was writing. Perhaps all great works of art mean much more than the author could have been aware of....” (153). Pretty high lang’age for a stupid man! Well, I ain’t so sure, but ain’t dat always da case! O’ cos’ Mistah Twain don’ know how good his book gonna be when he write it. He ain’t no abnormal smart in the head. He be just as dumb as you or me or Huck. Dat said, de man who write dis essay jus’ be flapdoodling common sense in dat part. I tell you, he be stupid. Even Jim be smart dan he is. Den he go on ’bout if de ending is right or no. Who cares if de ending is right or if it be wrong? No one! I already tell you, it jus’ be an advencha book. Quit tinkin’ ’bout it! It don’ matta if de endin’ be right. It don’ matta if Huck repesent de typ’cal American pioneeah. It don’t matta if da rivah contro’ Huck, ’cause it don’, and it don’ matter if he grow or if he ain’t. Just read the dern book an’ enjoy it! An’ don’ tink about it! If yuz do, i’ ruin yo’ enjoying o’ de book, an’ it make you sad. Dis man be jus’ li’ all dem scientist who be keep lookin’ at an’ meddlin’ wit tings dat don’ matta. At leas’ no’ in Jim’s worl’. Ain’t you eva hear of blis’fol igno’ance? Or’s dat neva gwoyne be knowed to y’all? At de beginnin’ o’ de book, Huck tell you no’ to tink about de book, an’ he mean it, too. So don’.
In da int’est o’ my time, goodness, an’ sanity, I be stop writin’ to you. I could tal’ ’bout all dem odah writahs and dey “critical essays” and dey “venacula” and dey “conscience” fo’ a long time a-comin’, but I ain’t a-gonna, jus’ to be nice. Just ’membah what Huck say ’bout his book, please, an’ follo’ it. ’Cause I don’ wanna see any’un wreckin’ the enjoymen’ o’ de first book my bes’ fren’ ever write, because it would sadden my bes’s fren’, da one who taught me to read, an’ write, and type, an’ even use boldface on dah computah; and dat be my bes’s fren’, Huck Finn. So don’ go ruinin’ ’is book by tinking ’bout it too much, okay, ’cause it make you sad, like I tell you.
Jim
Honors English 5-6 Jason Dennis
Seventh Period October 21, 2002
Huck Finn Theme
Eliot, T.S. “The River Controls Huckleberry Finn.” Excerpted from Introduction to 1950 Chanticleer Edition of Huckleberry Finn. Readings on Mark Twain. The Greenhaven Press Literary Companion Series to American Authors. Ed. David Bender, Bruno Leone, Scott Barbour, and Katie de Koster. San Diego: Greenhaven Press, 1996. 150-155.
Huck Finn Say Tings ’bout dem “Critical Essays”
On behaf a Huck:
Now Huck Finn be catchin’ up on ’is “readin’” and ’is “lit’a’ture”, okay, and ’e hate it. ’Ates it bad. He wanna know if people li’ da book dat he write, so he be readin’ up on dat, a’ight. But, lately, he be readin’ ’bout dese tings dat dese peepo’ wrote ’bout ’is book dat he write, and dey been talkin’ ’bout this odah guy dat he write da book wid--Mr. Twain, an’ Huck be ma’. Very ma’. Huck hire da man because he cannite nine t’ousand wuds a day, okay, not ’cause he be any good! He got ’im so he woul’ write down ’zactly wha’ Huck says’m. And dat’s why ’e got ’im. Da book is Huck’s, not dis odah guys! Now Huck say, ’e believes dat dese peepo’ be way t’into ’is book, see. Huck li’ da riches, but Huck wan’ know, did y’even read de ina’duction!? I don’ memba all o’ it, but I give you gist--it tell you not to ca’ ’bout Huck’s book! It ain’t no metapho’ fo’ no human condition!
Now Huck say dat dese people, dese peepo’ dat wrote dese “critical essays”, ya see, are mad. Dese nam’lah be Mistah Parshall, Mistah Smith, Mistah Eliot, an’ Mr. Morrow. First o’all, Mistah Eliot is da craziest o‘ de lot. Who do ’e dink ’e is, noways? Spellin’ his name all fanciful, with one “l” an’ all. An’ what do ’e know ’bout Huck Finn? Nuttin! All ’e can write ’bout’s cats, noways, an’ only poems ’bout dem, too. What he be doin’ tryin’ ta write a “critical essay” ’bout Huck? An’ dat ain’t even da craziest ding ’bout him, neither. He says da river control Huck! What kin’ o’ stupid man he be? A deef and dumb one, I reckon. Ain’t no rivah can’t contro’ no Huck, noways. Huck make ’is own decisions for ’isself. In ’is “essay”, Mistah Eliot, or Crazy Man, say dat da river is da only ting dat can contro’ a person (151). What a bunch a phooey dat is. He be crazy. An’ later, he say dat da Mississippi Rivah join da east an’ da west (152). Okay, Jim can believe dat, but what it go’ to do with m’fren’ Huck? Nuttin’ again! It seems li’ Mistah Eliot don’t know what he be talkin’ ’bout no mo’. And fartha along say he: “the Boy...is the spirit of the River” (152). Now what in tarnation? Da boi is da sperit o’ da rivah? How can dis be possibo’? It ain’t! Now I b’leeve in hairballs dat can tell da futa’, (an’ dey can fo’ a quatah) and I ain’t even dat crazy! Den he go on ’bout how “Mr. Twain book”--no, I sorry, “Mr. Twain’s novel” is so special ’cause it an acc’ate repesenation o’ society (152). Now I know fo’ a fact dat ev’y book I eva did read was an “acc’ate repesentation o’ society”. Dat’s wot books are fo’! Now don’t go tellin’ me ’bout how Huck’s book be special ’cause dis odah guy wrote it as an acc’ate repesentation o’ society! He say--Mistah Eliot say, dat de stupid rivah is what make de book spesho’ (153)! I don’ tin’ so. An’ also, he say dat we don’ know de impo’tance o’ de rivah unle’ we see hahdship dat we ain’t aware of (152)? What is dis phooey! Of course we know de impo’tance o’ de rivah, we only send steamboats on’t ev’ry day! Gosh, dis man be stupid. Stupid as a bear. No, stupid as a fish. No, even stupider. Now, Jim ain’t the smartest, but he be a genius compare’ ta dis foo’! An’ afta dat, he still go on an’ talk about all dese “themes”. What you mean, teemes? It just be an advencha book, li’ Huck said! Now don’t be meddlin’ in ’is ’ere book! Now, later on de guy say “In Huckleberry Finn, Mark Twain wrote a much greater book than he could have known he was writing. Perhaps all great works of art mean much more than the author could have been aware of....” (153). Pretty high lang’age for a stupid man! Well, I ain’t so sure, but ain’t dat always da case! O’ cos’ Mistah Twain don’ know how good his book gonna be when he write it. He ain’t no abnormal smart in the head. He be just as dumb as you or me or Huck. Dat said, de man who write dis essay jus’ be flapdoodling common sense in dat part. I tell you, he be stupid. Even Jim be smart dan he is. Den he go on ’bout if de ending is right or no. Who cares if de ending is right or if it be wrong? No one! I already tell you, it jus’ be an advencha book. Quit tinkin’ ’bout it! It don’ matta if de endin’ be right. It don’ matta if Huck repesent de typ’cal American pioneeah. It don’t matta if da rivah contro’ Huck, ’cause it don’, and it don’ matter if he grow or if he ain’t. Just read the dern book an’ enjoy it! An’ don’ tink about it! If yuz do, i’ ruin yo’ enjoying o’ de book, an’ it make you sad. Dis man be jus’ li’ all dem scientist who be keep lookin’ at an’ meddlin’ wit tings dat don’ matta. At leas’ no’ in Jim’s worl’. Ain’t you eva hear of blis’fol igno’ance? Or’s dat neva gwoyne be knowed to y’all? At de beginnin’ o’ de book, Huck tell you no’ to tink about de book, an’ he mean it, too. So don’.
In da int’est o’ my time, goodness, an’ sanity, I be stop writin’ to you. I could tal’ ’bout all dem odah writahs and dey “critical essays” and dey “venacula” and dey “conscience” fo’ a long time a-comin’, but I ain’t a-gonna, jus’ to be nice. Just ’membah what Huck say ’bout his book, please, an’ follo’ it. ’Cause I don’ wanna see any’un wreckin’ the enjoymen’ o’ de first book my bes’ fren’ ever write, because it would sadden my bes’s fren’, da one who taught me to read, an’ write, and type, an’ even use boldface on dah computah; and dat be my bes’s fren’, Huck Finn. So don’ go ruinin’ ’is book by tinking ’bout it too much, okay, ’cause it make you sad, like I tell you.
Jim