To Glorify God
I've known Jerry for nearly two decades. I don't actually recall when we first met but it would have been before 1991, maybe by a year or three. He's now 54 and his son, Jeremy is just a few years younger than me.
About 4 years ago he was diagnosed with cancer (multiple myleoma) and has been struggling with it ever since. Late last year, he and his wife, Janice, moved back to California to be near Jeremy (+ wife + 3 grand kids). Shortly thereafter, the doctors concluded that they can't do anything else to treat the cancer. Their toolbox is empty.
My dad, Larry (a guy from our bible study group) and I visited him today and were very fortunate to be here on a day when he was in surprisingly good condition. Just over a week ago when Larry and my dad visited him, he was in such bad shape that they were sure that would be the last time they saw him alive. He was almost totally unable to stay awake, couldn't really talk coherently, and appeared close to death. Janice took him to the hospital later that day and, while treating the cancer was no longer an option, she insisted that they at least attempt to help his symptoms. It turns out they were able to significantly improve his condition and he was released a few days ago and still getting around well today.
I had wondered what I could or should do or say. This isn't a situation I often find myself in. I hoped that I would be able to make a positive contribution to our time together beyond simply showing up, but I hadn't really figured out how to do that. It turned out that we didn't have much difficulty making the most of our time.
We arrived a bit after noon and stayed for about 3 hours. We talked some and told a few stories, but before too long, Jerry suggested we 'catch up' on some of his daily devotions. Little did I know, he had a small devotional book with his bible right beside his chair and, on previous visits, my dad and Larry had done several of the days with him.
At that moment it occurred to me just how dense I really am. I occasionally realize that perfect is the enemy of good enough and this was one of those moments. If I had thought ahead of time to bring some kind of devotional material (which I didn't), I would have likely looked for something just perfectly suited for a terminal cancer patient. And it wouldn't have been nearly as good as the simple, ordinary little book he had.
A significant part of the value in his little book came from the fact that he was only a few days behind, and had previously had my dad and Larry go through some of them with him. Beyond that, though, an unexpected value in that little book was that it was exactly simple and ordinary. The benefit for all of us, and I suspect especially for Jerry, had less to do with what the book said than it did with what we brought to the book.
We read, sometimes only a few words, and interrupted ourselves with thoughts, reflections, stories, and so on. Of course anyone who knows both my dad and I can probably understand how it could take hours (plural) to get through two or three short pages in a tiny book.
The last day's reading was about purpose. While that topic deserves a discussion of its own (and may well get an entry one day), I have to relay a fair bit of it because it illustrates how remarkably good (in so many ways) Jerry's attitude is even under these incomprehensibly awful circumstances.
The question we focused on was "does God have a purpose for us?" My answer probably wouldn't impress the heck out of Rick Warren (whose view of purpose is far more complex than mine), and certainly not many other evangelical pastors who are clearly supportive of the "personal will" view of God. While I didn't really see myself as being there to preach per se, I thought I'd share my view of God's purpose for us. I indicated that it was, in fact, the same for everyone and that it is quite simple: to love God and love people. That phrase could be worded differently and retain similar meaning, but that's the essence.
What that also means is that (ordinarily) I don't think there's some super secret specific plan or goal that God has for each person that we must determine using, well, who knows what sorts of methods (the voices in our heads, or some goofy test, etc.). Instead, the methods or tactics we use to love God and love people are more or less left up to us. Each person has a different set of resources, talents, opportunities, desires, and so on. Consequently, people who adopt loving God and people as their purpose in life might come up with a wide variety of ways, methods, goals, techniques and so on to carry that out.
One consequence of that line of thinking, which is both a challenge and an opportunity, is that our purpose becomes something that cannot be 'finished' in the same way that a fixed goal with an identifiable end can be finished. The challenge is that it will never be completed. The opportunity is that it can be started and improved upon at any time, in any place, under any circumstances, no matter who you are, where you've come from, and how long you (think you) have left to work at it. It's something we can 'be' more than something we can 'do' (as in finish).
Having probably monopolized too much of the conversation at that point, my dad use that discussion as a backdrop to ask the perfect question of Jerry. Given his circumstances, has he figured out what his purpose is, now, in life? His answer was "to glorify God." Indeed, that's strikingly similar to "love God and love people," and it was clear to me that his answer was readily available even before I shared my ideas on the topic. It was inspiring to hear him, even now, thinking up ways that he can accomplish his purpose.
We closed with a prayer and left. It's entirely likely that I'll never see Jerry alive again. I do know that he appreciated the cards that Edison and Erin made for him. I hope that my visit there made his life better, and I think it probably did. I didn't go with the hope that it would make my life better, but it turned out that way. His continued pursuit of his purpose in life was inspiring. And, if nothing else, I learned a great trick when visiting someone in one of those "don't know what to say" kinds of situations: bring a basic devotional book...
Tomorrow, I'm off to visit Marshall...
V-
About 4 years ago he was diagnosed with cancer (multiple myleoma) and has been struggling with it ever since. Late last year, he and his wife, Janice, moved back to California to be near Jeremy (+ wife + 3 grand kids). Shortly thereafter, the doctors concluded that they can't do anything else to treat the cancer. Their toolbox is empty.
My dad, Larry (a guy from our bible study group) and I visited him today and were very fortunate to be here on a day when he was in surprisingly good condition. Just over a week ago when Larry and my dad visited him, he was in such bad shape that they were sure that would be the last time they saw him alive. He was almost totally unable to stay awake, couldn't really talk coherently, and appeared close to death. Janice took him to the hospital later that day and, while treating the cancer was no longer an option, she insisted that they at least attempt to help his symptoms. It turns out they were able to significantly improve his condition and he was released a few days ago and still getting around well today.
I had wondered what I could or should do or say. This isn't a situation I often find myself in. I hoped that I would be able to make a positive contribution to our time together beyond simply showing up, but I hadn't really figured out how to do that. It turned out that we didn't have much difficulty making the most of our time.
We arrived a bit after noon and stayed for about 3 hours. We talked some and told a few stories, but before too long, Jerry suggested we 'catch up' on some of his daily devotions. Little did I know, he had a small devotional book with his bible right beside his chair and, on previous visits, my dad and Larry had done several of the days with him.
At that moment it occurred to me just how dense I really am. I occasionally realize that perfect is the enemy of good enough and this was one of those moments. If I had thought ahead of time to bring some kind of devotional material (which I didn't), I would have likely looked for something just perfectly suited for a terminal cancer patient. And it wouldn't have been nearly as good as the simple, ordinary little book he had.
A significant part of the value in his little book came from the fact that he was only a few days behind, and had previously had my dad and Larry go through some of them with him. Beyond that, though, an unexpected value in that little book was that it was exactly simple and ordinary. The benefit for all of us, and I suspect especially for Jerry, had less to do with what the book said than it did with what we brought to the book.
We read, sometimes only a few words, and interrupted ourselves with thoughts, reflections, stories, and so on. Of course anyone who knows both my dad and I can probably understand how it could take hours (plural) to get through two or three short pages in a tiny book.
The last day's reading was about purpose. While that topic deserves a discussion of its own (and may well get an entry one day), I have to relay a fair bit of it because it illustrates how remarkably good (in so many ways) Jerry's attitude is even under these incomprehensibly awful circumstances.
The question we focused on was "does God have a purpose for us?" My answer probably wouldn't impress the heck out of Rick Warren (whose view of purpose is far more complex than mine), and certainly not many other evangelical pastors who are clearly supportive of the "personal will" view of God. While I didn't really see myself as being there to preach per se, I thought I'd share my view of God's purpose for us. I indicated that it was, in fact, the same for everyone and that it is quite simple: to love God and love people. That phrase could be worded differently and retain similar meaning, but that's the essence.
What that also means is that (ordinarily) I don't think there's some super secret specific plan or goal that God has for each person that we must determine using, well, who knows what sorts of methods (the voices in our heads, or some goofy test, etc.). Instead, the methods or tactics we use to love God and love people are more or less left up to us. Each person has a different set of resources, talents, opportunities, desires, and so on. Consequently, people who adopt loving God and people as their purpose in life might come up with a wide variety of ways, methods, goals, techniques and so on to carry that out.
One consequence of that line of thinking, which is both a challenge and an opportunity, is that our purpose becomes something that cannot be 'finished' in the same way that a fixed goal with an identifiable end can be finished. The challenge is that it will never be completed. The opportunity is that it can be started and improved upon at any time, in any place, under any circumstances, no matter who you are, where you've come from, and how long you (think you) have left to work at it. It's something we can 'be' more than something we can 'do' (as in finish).
Having probably monopolized too much of the conversation at that point, my dad use that discussion as a backdrop to ask the perfect question of Jerry. Given his circumstances, has he figured out what his purpose is, now, in life? His answer was "to glorify God." Indeed, that's strikingly similar to "love God and love people," and it was clear to me that his answer was readily available even before I shared my ideas on the topic. It was inspiring to hear him, even now, thinking up ways that he can accomplish his purpose.
We closed with a prayer and left. It's entirely likely that I'll never see Jerry alive again. I do know that he appreciated the cards that Edison and Erin made for him. I hope that my visit there made his life better, and I think it probably did. I didn't go with the hope that it would make my life better, but it turned out that way. His continued pursuit of his purpose in life was inspiring. And, if nothing else, I learned a great trick when visiting someone in one of those "don't know what to say" kinds of situations: bring a basic devotional book...
Tomorrow, I'm off to visit Marshall...
V-