Sometimes... You seem so far away... from you.
I don't feel like talking about recent things. I don't feel like talking about my love life. I don't feel like talking about my recent troubles. And right now, I feel so odd, I don't even know what I do feel like talking about.
Right now my heart is telling my brain to shut up and go to sleep well it talks. This is my journal, and right now I don't care who is reading this and who feels what when reading this. That wasn't directed towards anyone, so tell your feelings to shut up.
I don't know why but for some reason I want to talk to priscilla right now. She is just one of those people that... I could just never figure out, and right when I thought I did have her figured out, she would surprise me. I'm not saying she would surprise me in a good way, although she did surprise in a good way alot, because alot of times she would pull things that would piss me off and I wouldn't expect of her... but at the same time I did the same to her... all the same, for some reason I want to talk to her right now. I want to talk to her right now, because when talking to her, I would never know if she would tell me something I wanted to hear or not. When complaining to her, I never knew if she would tell me what I wanted to hear, or what I should hear. Although I always want to hear... well,what I want to hear, deep down, I get dissapointed when people tell me what I want to hear... but only if I know that they are telling me it because I want to hear it... deep down I want people to tell me what I should hear... but at the same time, I don't want them to say it, only because I want to hear it... does it make sense? no? don't worry... for once, this journal entry is for me, it doesn't matter who gets it. But... Thats what made priscilla such a good friend, she always knew what to tell me to calm me down. At the same time, that's what broke us, she always knew what not to say to me, and when she was mad at me, she would tell me just that. But that doesn't matter... I loved her as a friend, because... she always told me what i needed to be told... don't worry, that doesn't have to make sense. I say loved because... just because. All the same, for some reason, I wish I could talk to priscilla right now... don't ask.
... Not to long ago I watched the movie Great Expectations. Saying the title now makes me think of school for some reason. Did my friends that were in the higher english classes ever complain about a book called this? or... something else? who cares, anyway... The movie was so sad... At the end, I wanted to cry.
After the movie, I thought alot about things once in my life. thinking about things... Things I should of done, Things I shouldn't of done... Made me want to cry. But... that's that. I keep so many secrets inside. I think we all do, some people keep them better then others. there are always those secrets that you think are big, but you still tell someone, someone you trust, yes, but, still you tell someone... then there are those other secrets... who cares. Somethings... I just don't want to tell anyone, and I don't think i ever will. But thats just how it is.
I miss so many people. I want to see so many people... so badly.
Some feelings... you just forget. some feelings, you wish you could just forget. I write so many poems and stories, none of which I believe are good enough to wipe your ass with but, doesn't matter. Sometimes, you just want someone to know how you feel about things, doesn't matter who, just someone. Sometimes, it just feels good to have someone in the world know how you feel about things. Sometimes, it feels good to just... I write out pooems and stories, for myself, it doesn't matter who reads them, it doesn't matter if noone reads them... just feels good to write. Just feels good to put your heart and soul into something.
I use to think that someday... someday I was going to have a band, and I was going to write songs that I would poor my heart into, and I would poor my soul into the music and singing that song, and That would be that.... But now... I don't want to do that. If ever I have a band, i don't want to sing love songs.
I once looked at a girl, who was short, kind of plain, and alright looking. She looked like she was always a bit depressed. I heard some people talking about her, they said how she had a bit of a rough life, pretty much just self mutilation, not physical. I thought... I bet I could make her happy, I bet I could make her fall in love with me, and I could fix all her problems. I thought this, and wanted to fall in love with her... I wanted to chase after her, and fall in love with her, just to make her life happy. Ofcourse I never did, but, I wanted to... don't know why.
I once fell in love with a girl... but the story is to long to tell... just thinking that first line to myself though, makes me want to cry. She never loved me back, and she never knew that I loved her. there was a times, were we didn't talk for a month and a half. She came over late one night, and we cought up on old times. I ended up pouring my heart out to her. I told her how I use to feel about her, and told her how she broke my heart, but I never told her that I loved her. She started to cry, and then ran to my bathroom. I got so confussed because... why would she cry over this? she never loved me and... but that is a long story too. I asked her why we never got together and she said because she felt like she shouldn't of liked me... I once fell in love with a girl, but she never loved me back, and thats where the story ends.
Thinking back on everything, I think of all things I've done wrong... but, that's also a long story... or stories.
::Your name... On my sleave::... because she once told me why they say, heart on the end of your sleave...
Sweatness, this one's for you.
-The end-
Right now my heart is telling my brain to shut up and go to sleep well it talks. This is my journal, and right now I don't care who is reading this and who feels what when reading this. That wasn't directed towards anyone, so tell your feelings to shut up.
I don't know why but for some reason I want to talk to priscilla right now. She is just one of those people that... I could just never figure out, and right when I thought I did have her figured out, she would surprise me. I'm not saying she would surprise me in a good way, although she did surprise in a good way alot, because alot of times she would pull things that would piss me off and I wouldn't expect of her... but at the same time I did the same to her... all the same, for some reason I want to talk to her right now. I want to talk to her right now, because when talking to her, I would never know if she would tell me something I wanted to hear or not. When complaining to her, I never knew if she would tell me what I wanted to hear, or what I should hear. Although I always want to hear... well,what I want to hear, deep down, I get dissapointed when people tell me what I want to hear... but only if I know that they are telling me it because I want to hear it... deep down I want people to tell me what I should hear... but at the same time, I don't want them to say it, only because I want to hear it... does it make sense? no? don't worry... for once, this journal entry is for me, it doesn't matter who gets it. But... Thats what made priscilla such a good friend, she always knew what to tell me to calm me down. At the same time, that's what broke us, she always knew what not to say to me, and when she was mad at me, she would tell me just that. But that doesn't matter... I loved her as a friend, because... she always told me what i needed to be told... don't worry, that doesn't have to make sense. I say loved because... just because. All the same, for some reason, I wish I could talk to priscilla right now... don't ask.
... Not to long ago I watched the movie Great Expectations. Saying the title now makes me think of school for some reason. Did my friends that were in the higher english classes ever complain about a book called this? or... something else? who cares, anyway... The movie was so sad... At the end, I wanted to cry.
After the movie, I thought alot about things once in my life. thinking about things... Things I should of done, Things I shouldn't of done... Made me want to cry. But... that's that. I keep so many secrets inside. I think we all do, some people keep them better then others. there are always those secrets that you think are big, but you still tell someone, someone you trust, yes, but, still you tell someone... then there are those other secrets... who cares. Somethings... I just don't want to tell anyone, and I don't think i ever will. But thats just how it is.
I miss so many people. I want to see so many people... so badly.
Some feelings... you just forget. some feelings, you wish you could just forget. I write so many poems and stories, none of which I believe are good enough to wipe your ass with but, doesn't matter. Sometimes, you just want someone to know how you feel about things, doesn't matter who, just someone. Sometimes, it just feels good to have someone in the world know how you feel about things. Sometimes, it feels good to just... I write out pooems and stories, for myself, it doesn't matter who reads them, it doesn't matter if noone reads them... just feels good to write. Just feels good to put your heart and soul into something.
I use to think that someday... someday I was going to have a band, and I was going to write songs that I would poor my heart into, and I would poor my soul into the music and singing that song, and That would be that.... But now... I don't want to do that. If ever I have a band, i don't want to sing love songs.
I once looked at a girl, who was short, kind of plain, and alright looking. She looked like she was always a bit depressed. I heard some people talking about her, they said how she had a bit of a rough life, pretty much just self mutilation, not physical. I thought... I bet I could make her happy, I bet I could make her fall in love with me, and I could fix all her problems. I thought this, and wanted to fall in love with her... I wanted to chase after her, and fall in love with her, just to make her life happy. Ofcourse I never did, but, I wanted to... don't know why.
I once fell in love with a girl... but the story is to long to tell... just thinking that first line to myself though, makes me want to cry. She never loved me back, and she never knew that I loved her. there was a times, were we didn't talk for a month and a half. She came over late one night, and we cought up on old times. I ended up pouring my heart out to her. I told her how I use to feel about her, and told her how she broke my heart, but I never told her that I loved her. She started to cry, and then ran to my bathroom. I got so confussed because... why would she cry over this? she never loved me and... but that is a long story too. I asked her why we never got together and she said because she felt like she shouldn't of liked me... I once fell in love with a girl, but she never loved me back, and thats where the story ends.
Thinking back on everything, I think of all things I've done wrong... but, that's also a long story... or stories.
::Your name... On my sleave::... because she once told me why they say, heart on the end of your sleave...
Sweatness, this one's for you.
-The end-