Giveaway and new erotic romance blog by Crystal Jordan
We have so much to talk about today! For one, don't forget the virtual holiday party today at The Knight Agency site at 12:30 ET! Hope to see y'all there.
For another, the winner of yesterday's signed copy of Jane Lockwood's FORBIDDEN SHORES is Diana Cosby (and not just because she had such nice things to say, I swear!). My son chose her name in a totally blind draw from a hat!
Tune in tomorrow for another special blog, this one from fellow agent Roberta Brown and her author Jina Bacarr and yet another fantastic giveaway!
Commentors today will be entered to win a signed copy of Crystal Jordan's fabulous collection of erotic stories, CARNAL DESIRES. And don't forget to look for her next one, ON THE PROWL.
"Writing Erotic Means Sex Is A Journey, Not A Destination" by Crystal Jordan
Most romance writers I know started out as readers of romance. I won't say every one of them, because inevitably there's an exception, but I think most of us began in the same place. For me, it was stealing my mother's historical romance novels to read while she wasn't looking. In terms of sex, the stories always progressed in a similar fashion: boy met girl, boy kissed girl, and I had to wait until the very end until boy and girl did the deed. In these books, sex was something that happened after the characters were either already in love or well on their way to being there. Sex was the final physical expression of their love for each other. It was the *destination* for their relationship within the book.
That's great. I still have many of those books I ferreted away before Mom took them to the used bookstore. They're wonderful stories, but that's not how the stories I tell work. My characters don't tend to see sex as a final destination for anything other than an orgasm.
I think that erotic romance writers use sex as a tool to help tell the story. There's a lot that people learn about themselves through sex--and I'm not just talking about favorite positions. It's as much emotional and psychological as it is physical and hormonal. Especially in erotica (as opposed to erotic romance), sex is a journey of self-discovery, self-awareness, and self-acceptance. I think this is something most people can relate to because they struggle with it themselves on one level or another. So much of people's insecurities and fears about themselves or their relationships manifests in one way or another in their sex lives--there are therapists who specialize in that topic alone! For my characters, I've always thought that not addressing that was disingenuous to their emotional growth throughout the book. (Not that there's anything wrong with telling stories a different way. This is just what works for me, so your mileage may vary.)
In erotic romance, sex is part of the journey to Happily Ever After. It's one way the characters connect with each other, decide whether or not they truly want to build a life with each other, and discover more about each other's wants, needs, and desires. However, sex can also be a way to avoid connecting with each other on a deeper, emotional level. It all depends on the particular story.
And, no, the fact that sex can be used to avoid emotion does *not* make erotica or erotic romance another label for pornography. The difference is that there *is* an emotional reaction. It's not sex for sex's sake; the sex helps move the characters forward in a bigger story, a larger emotional arc. The end game could be a character learning to accept herself exactly as she is. It could be finding her One True Love. It could be any number of things, but in this case, sex is a vehicle used to get to that final destination. Porn only has the one goal: explicit sex (and lots of it, usually). There's no emotion, no connection with one's self or another person (or both).
Personally, I'm a sucker for the Happily Ever After. Even my work that's labeled erotica typically has the forever kind of ending. The point is for the characters to learn about themselves and each other, to know themselves better by the end of the story, to fall in love, and to be ready to commit to a lasting relationship. That happens in both erotic romance as well as sweeter romance, but for me, it's not just about the destination, it's about the very, very naughty journey to get there.
Thanks for having me, Lucienne!
-Crystal