Fic: Better Not to Ask
Title: Better Not to Ask
Rating: PG
Characters: Ashley Magnus, Helen Magnus
Summary: Ashley, she sees more than her Mom thinks she does.
Notes: From the Sanctuary Women comment-a-thon on myfloralbonnet's LJ. I'd almost forgotten about this and the other one I did. This prompt was "Ashley, she sees more than her Mom thinks she does." and was listed by serenitymeimei
Her mother has always encouraged her to ask questions; Why is the sky blue? Where did the dinosaurs go? How come the harpies can fly and I can't? Questions were easy and Ashley was full of them.
Her mother also encouraged her to reason out or research the answers herself. Ashley didn't like that part so much. Things she could do were so much better than reading in the library. It smelled funny in there. Experiments were fun and often messy. The best part was getting to play with the stuff in her mother's lab downstairs and put on a lab coat. Ashley's not sure she wants to be a scientist like her mom, but she really likes having her all to herself for a little while. So Ashley keeps asking questions.
Her mother gets a look sometimes when she watches her or talks about certain things. It breaks her heart to see and there is nothing she can do to stop it. Ashley hates that look, so full of...emotions she doesn't have words for. She pretends she doesn't see, because her mother pretends she doesn't wear it. It's better that way for them both.
She's five the first time she asks her mother who her father is. Other kids have dads but she doesn't. That's the first time her mother wears that look. It's terrifying because she's never seen that expression on her mother's face and Ashley immediately regrets asking. She hates crying like a baby but she can't stop it when she apologizes for asking. Her mother holds her and slowly explains that her father died a long time ago, before Ashley was born. Ashley runs to her room when she can escape the look in her mom's eyes and the waver in her voice. The next day everything is normal, except Ashley has all these questions.
Did he like sports? Was he a scientist like her mom? What did he look like? What was his name? Did he know about Ashley? How did he die? But these are questions Ashley's better off not asking.
She's six before curiosity compels her to ask again. As before her mother hides the pain and suddenly Ashley really doesn't want to know if her dead father liked sports or not. When Ashley is ten, and angry she's not nearly as tall as she thinks she should be, she forgets, and asks how tall her dad was.
It isn't just when Ashley forgets not to ask though. Sometimes in museums or on trips or at birthdays or when she visits London. It appears fast as lightning or a good right hook, then it's gone. There one moment and then her mother has covered it up or looked away, burying her emotions again. She thinks Ashley doesn't know, but she does, every time. Ashley asks about the next mission, or about some famous guy her mother knew. She asks about something she thinks her mother will teach her, because those questions are safe and change the subject.
The night with the bald psycho, her mother's wearing that look again. Ashley thanks her for patching her up, kisses her forehead and goes to bed, Because some questions are better off not being asked.
Rating: PG
Characters: Ashley Magnus, Helen Magnus
Summary: Ashley, she sees more than her Mom thinks she does.
Notes: From the Sanctuary Women comment-a-thon on myfloralbonnet's LJ. I'd almost forgotten about this and the other one I did. This prompt was "Ashley, she sees more than her Mom thinks she does." and was listed by serenitymeimei
Her mother has always encouraged her to ask questions; Why is the sky blue? Where did the dinosaurs go? How come the harpies can fly and I can't? Questions were easy and Ashley was full of them.
Her mother also encouraged her to reason out or research the answers herself. Ashley didn't like that part so much. Things she could do were so much better than reading in the library. It smelled funny in there. Experiments were fun and often messy. The best part was getting to play with the stuff in her mother's lab downstairs and put on a lab coat. Ashley's not sure she wants to be a scientist like her mom, but she really likes having her all to herself for a little while. So Ashley keeps asking questions.
Her mother gets a look sometimes when she watches her or talks about certain things. It breaks her heart to see and there is nothing she can do to stop it. Ashley hates that look, so full of...emotions she doesn't have words for. She pretends she doesn't see, because her mother pretends she doesn't wear it. It's better that way for them both.
She's five the first time she asks her mother who her father is. Other kids have dads but she doesn't. That's the first time her mother wears that look. It's terrifying because she's never seen that expression on her mother's face and Ashley immediately regrets asking. She hates crying like a baby but she can't stop it when she apologizes for asking. Her mother holds her and slowly explains that her father died a long time ago, before Ashley was born. Ashley runs to her room when she can escape the look in her mom's eyes and the waver in her voice. The next day everything is normal, except Ashley has all these questions.
Did he like sports? Was he a scientist like her mom? What did he look like? What was his name? Did he know about Ashley? How did he die? But these are questions Ashley's better off not asking.
She's six before curiosity compels her to ask again. As before her mother hides the pain and suddenly Ashley really doesn't want to know if her dead father liked sports or not. When Ashley is ten, and angry she's not nearly as tall as she thinks she should be, she forgets, and asks how tall her dad was.
It isn't just when Ashley forgets not to ask though. Sometimes in museums or on trips or at birthdays or when she visits London. It appears fast as lightning or a good right hook, then it's gone. There one moment and then her mother has covered it up or looked away, burying her emotions again. She thinks Ashley doesn't know, but she does, every time. Ashley asks about the next mission, or about some famous guy her mother knew. She asks about something she thinks her mother will teach her, because those questions are safe and change the subject.
The night with the bald psycho, her mother's wearing that look again. Ashley thanks her for patching her up, kisses her forehead and goes to bed, Because some questions are better off not being asked.