going into the 29th
is it a common saying that people and their bodies change/re-invent themselves every 7 years? when i heard it first from wes, he was refering to the body. when i heard it elsewhere, they were referring to the mind. whichever, i (the collective whole) incurred a lot of change in my 28th year of life and most of it in mindset, something i never realized i had so much control over. i was what i was, and that was that.
anxiety best describes my attitude towards aging. the gene pool on both sides of my family is riddled with health issues that are slowly manifesting themselves in old age. i don't need a crystal ball when i have my parents. they were invincible when i was younger, and with the media touting the amazing longevity and robustness of the japanese bloodline, what did i have to worry about? then one by one my immediate relatives developed diabetes, cancer, had strokes, and heart attacks. both grandmothers shrank to the size of small humpbacked children and mentally regressed into empty husks, no longer able to fend for themselves. my grandfathers left the world well ahead of their spouses.
i envy people who have 80+ year old grandparents with minds sharp enough to still hold jobs and function as normal people. hell, being able to hold an intelligent conversation is enough in my book. some of my relatives started loosing their mental edge as early as in their late 50s, and their bodies started unraveling even earlier than that! i firmly believe i would have a much better attitude towards aging had circumstances been different.
and sooo, armed with the realization that i would develop extreme osteoperosis and was also at risk for a bevy of cancers, heart disease, and early generalized mental deterioration, i began changing my diet and lifestyle to mold probability towards my favor. the thing is, i had a lot of dislikes to overcome. a LOT.
i absolutely hated drinking water. i used to feel nauseaous eating anything in the morning and ate only one gargantuan meal a day. i hated physical activity, being hot, sweaty, or dirty. i hid from the sun. i abhored chlorine in my hair and the process of wringing myself out of a wet bathing suit. i couldn't run 2 minutes without feeling dizzy and giving up. i had absolutely no muscle and weighed only 92 lbs from 7th grade all the way to a mere 2 years ago. i HATED coming home from a long day of work and not having food. i would either eat instant ramen or go straight to the computer and forget to eat at all. i ate rashers of bacon and drank non-diet soft drinks in an attempt to gain weight. my mentality back then: if it didn't have calories, it wasn't worth eating. i still never gained a pound. i refused to eat leftovers or anything housed in tupperware. i used to think .99 for rice-a-roni was a good deal. i considered sleeping a hobby.
i was deadset in all of these things. i thought they were ingrained, things that i couldn't possibly change. if i didn't like pink, i didn't like pink! but all it took was deciding that i wanted to change, and amazingly enough my mind followed. out of all the hurdles, the hardest to overcome was getting used to drinking water! i grew up never drinking water, despising the taste, and it took a whole 6 months of forcing myself to gulp gallons of filtered/bottled/tap water before the glorious day came when i realized i was thirsty and CRAVED water. this was the biggest breakthrough for me and continues to be the one that astonishes me the most. :p
i'm currently in the best shape of my life. i've gained muscle mass, i can run 5k fairly easily, finally completed an MS 150, like swimming laps, and LOVE going to the gym to lift weights! :O the only convenience foods i buy now are for emergency backup meals. i eat roughly 5 times a day, drink several 19 oz bottles of water, and rarely buy snacks. well ok, it helps that i naturally stopped liking sweets. :p i'm damn serious, but i mostly crave raw veggies for snacks, like celery or broccoli. my default meal when i cook for myself: fish, brown rice topped with raw egg, and a steamed veggie or salad. i didn't stay i stopped being lazy about cooking, this is a 15 min meal. XD
so now i'm 29. i have a wrinkle under my right eye, and i can no longer drink milk without getting the runs. other than that, life is good! :D i used to never have a "things to do before i die" list. i mean... i could really care less if i never got to visit certain parts of the world, read a certain book, or eat certain things. i'll need to be at death's door before i start caring, and maybe even that won't do it. :p however, some things have started to materialize. i definitely want to finish a sprint triathalon, finish a century, finish a 10 miler, then a full marathon. i could've done the century last year, the triathalon isn't too far off, and the 10 miler doable with more training, but the full 26 mile marathon? it seems a pie in the sky, yet i know it's a reachable goal for me, so that's the one thing i really want to accomplish before my knees and back start giving out. :p however i draw the line when it comes to a full blown iron distance. XD