so yes, kara has brought thee back to life
heck yes kids, I'm bringing back the live journal.
its pretty necissary if i may say so. i really just need somewhere to write everthing down and get feedback from people.
so thursday i reached my breaking point. and i've decided to re-invent myself. how does one do this? here's my plan :
- spend less time worrying about stupid things like boys, and more time focousing on schoolwork, soccer, getting into shape, and re-connecting with my soul.
- stop swearing. its just really not that great and it sounds rude/stupid. i do it far to much anyway.
- remembering to take my medicine.
- start making more friends. don't get me wrong, i absolutely love my friends, but i need to start branching out and developing new friendships. which means spending time outside of school with other people as well as the people i hang out with now.
- i've decided i want to drop five pounds by sadies, and overall 20 by spring break. i am not fat. its just something i need to do. i'm going to be healthy about it too, no worries. people always say "you're not fat blah blah blah." yeah whatever. i don't think i'm fat either. i'm just not happy with how i look. i talked to my doctor and she said its fine. i'm gonna be hot.
- take better care of myself. this means all of me. mentally, i need to stop abusing myself. i'm a good person and i deserve the best. sometimes i forget that. emotionally, i have a lot of baggage. i need to find a healthy way of releasing it. im thinking cardio-kickboxing might help. moving on from the past and getting myself out of relationships that cause alot of pain are going to be benefitial as well. spiritually, i need to start praying more. not just like our fathers and stuff, but like, praying. there's so much going on in my life right now, and i think the only person that can really help me out is God. physically, i'm going to get into top-notch shape. i plan to work out everyday, eat healthier and less, and get ready for soccer.
so yeah, alot going on in the life of kara.
yesterday, catie and dad left for carnagie mellon for her audition. she's gonna do wonderful.and i miss her a lot. reality has finally set in that she's not gonna be around next year. i already feel alone.
i need to cry more. i haven't cried since the night before we went back to school. its healthy to cry. maybe that's why i don't feel good all the time.
45 days till i'm sixteen. i can't wait.
please keep
- Catie and her chrones and various other ailments, as well as all of her upcomming auditions.
- My mom and all of the stress she is going through
- Dom and Syd's mom and her health
- Uncle Kent for his safety in Iraq and that he comes home unharmed and soon.
- Aunt Sherri, Elizabeth, and Colleen for them to stay calm and for their health while uncle kent is gone.
- The Lussier Family who "celebrated" the one year aniversary of their father's death yesterday
- Mrs. Heleski who has a short time left to live, and for her husband and son to stay strong during this difficult process.
in your prayers. its much appreciated.
13 days till sadies!
- i have a date. Stephen!!!
- i need a dress.
- and i have no idea what i'm doing before/after.
and i'm still really pumped :)
marykate and ashley are amazing.