elfbabies
In the most current news, Nienna and Ulmo are getting married. But you probably knew that by now. Still, yay! We haven't had a Valar wedding in 25,000 years, which is a pity considering all of the plant life the average Valië generates in a single footstep.
In less publicised news, the elf that Melkor impregnated during his little power trip now has two healthy twin baby boys. Tess had already been a great help to the people affected by Melkor's ego trip, and since the rest of my family and I spent so many thousands of years cleaning up Melkie's messes, I felt obligated to pitch in as well.
Celeborn's fiancé is a supplicant of mine, so he called me for help in getting the undoubtedly uncomfortable male pregnancy out of the way. I gave him pills to compress the growth into about two and a half days. And morphine. Lots of morphine. Manwë helped with the drugs. (They're all clean, I swear.)
This morning, Tess and I went over to their house for the, er, 'removal.' Of course, every bloody elf on the way started the 'A Elbereth Gilthoniel' whatnot and gaped at the sight of two Valië walking around in jeans. (Casual Friday.) Celeborn had the same reaction, but Estë put two fingers to his forehead and said, "Sleep," before he could start singing. Glorfindel was pacing around and prattling on and acting like a nervous, expectant father from a bad movie, so in the end we had to tranquilize him, too. Tess and I took a baby each, concentrated briefly, and seconds later heard two cries from the crib we had set up beside us. I looked the babies over to count fingers and toes and Estë did her medical thing, fixing whatever alterations or damages Melkor's anatomical meddling might have caused in the elf's body.
Then we took a moment to coo and giggle over the babies. Babies are sooo cute. :D
"Eeee! Look, he yawned!"
"Awww, cute! ... Was that a yawn?"
"I think so."
"Cute, anyway."
"Yeah."
"Ooh, let's be their patron Valar. Or matron Valier. Um... you know what I mean."
"Ok, yay!!"
"You know, they really do look like Winston Churchill."
"Who?"
I lifted the enchantment from Glorfindel, who blinked dazedly at us, and then at the babies we were still holding. "That's it?" He meant the birth itself, I assume.
"Yup."
"Cool. They're ok?"
I handed him Baby One (five seconds older than Baby Two). "They're fine. Two boys, all intact. And pretty."
He looked down at Celeborn, who was still unconscious. "Is he ok?"
Tess nodded. "Yeah, he'll just be sore for a few hours. And no breasts, don't worry. We brought baby formula!" She was still bouncing.
I nodded at the elf on the couch. "Tess, maybe you should wake him up."
"Oh! Right." He gradually came to, shook his head, looked down at his stomach and jumped.
"What the...?!" Estë handed him Baby Two.
"They're on the outside now!" she bubbled.
We left the two of them to gather their wits.
I think Tess wants a baby now.
In less publicised news, the elf that Melkor impregnated during his little power trip now has two healthy twin baby boys. Tess had already been a great help to the people affected by Melkor's ego trip, and since the rest of my family and I spent so many thousands of years cleaning up Melkie's messes, I felt obligated to pitch in as well.
Celeborn's fiancé is a supplicant of mine, so he called me for help in getting the undoubtedly uncomfortable male pregnancy out of the way. I gave him pills to compress the growth into about two and a half days. And morphine. Lots of morphine. Manwë helped with the drugs. (They're all clean, I swear.)
This morning, Tess and I went over to their house for the, er, 'removal.' Of course, every bloody elf on the way started the 'A Elbereth Gilthoniel' whatnot and gaped at the sight of two Valië walking around in jeans. (Casual Friday.) Celeborn had the same reaction, but Estë put two fingers to his forehead and said, "Sleep," before he could start singing. Glorfindel was pacing around and prattling on and acting like a nervous, expectant father from a bad movie, so in the end we had to tranquilize him, too. Tess and I took a baby each, concentrated briefly, and seconds later heard two cries from the crib we had set up beside us. I looked the babies over to count fingers and toes and Estë did her medical thing, fixing whatever alterations or damages Melkor's anatomical meddling might have caused in the elf's body.
Then we took a moment to coo and giggle over the babies. Babies are sooo cute. :D
"Eeee! Look, he yawned!"
"Awww, cute! ... Was that a yawn?"
"I think so."
"Cute, anyway."
"Yeah."
"Ooh, let's be their patron Valar. Or matron Valier. Um... you know what I mean."
"Ok, yay!!"
"You know, they really do look like Winston Churchill."
"Who?"
I lifted the enchantment from Glorfindel, who blinked dazedly at us, and then at the babies we were still holding. "That's it?" He meant the birth itself, I assume.
"Yup."
"Cool. They're ok?"
I handed him Baby One (five seconds older than Baby Two). "They're fine. Two boys, all intact. And pretty."
He looked down at Celeborn, who was still unconscious. "Is he ok?"
Tess nodded. "Yeah, he'll just be sore for a few hours. And no breasts, don't worry. We brought baby formula!" She was still bouncing.
I nodded at the elf on the couch. "Tess, maybe you should wake him up."
"Oh! Right." He gradually came to, shook his head, looked down at his stomach and jumped.
"What the...?!" Estë handed him Baby Two.
"They're on the outside now!" she bubbled.
We left the two of them to gather their wits.
I think Tess wants a baby now.