Russians ..
It seems that Russians were put on this planet purely to see if they can fuck it up any more than the next person. So far they havent succeeded, though they have certainly put forth a great effort, so they must be commended on their determination.
I lie .. they must have their pelvises crushed by old car engines while they sleep. This needs to be done for the good of the world/universe/me.
- Have you ever had a program, piece of hardware, drivers, game or anything of the sort on your computer that has had error after error for no good reason? Russia is responsible for this.
- Has your car ever broken down, or you get a flat tyre for no obvious explanation? Russia is responsible for this.
- Have you ever been sick on the day of a big test, and during it you weren't sure which was more important - wiping your nose every 3.7 seconds, or attempting to finish the assessment, half heartedly at most? Russia is responsible for this.
In fact if you have had any malignant, stupid or impossible problems occur in any aspect of your life, it is likely that Russia is to blame.
They are everywhere, pumping petrol, writing computer software, fixing your car, operating the projector in the cinema, answering your ISP complaint phone calls, trying to sell you "new and improved and even more expensive" shit from Telstra (or any substitute phone company). Be careful what you do and who you talk to .. because it is very likely that the person you are involving yourself with is a Russian.
Right now I think back to the point where Russia showed their real tendency to be a "team player" in relation to the rest of the world. Shortly after World War 2, after getting their asses kicked by Germany, and saved by America - instead of honoring their United States hero, they stabbed them in the back and decided it was time to take over the world with their communist propaganda, aimed at the weak minded and worthless (just take a look at some of the countries communism spread to).
Now I think to myself sometimes that this may have actually been quite an achievement. Although they show a big lack of commendable morals, they did manage to oppose America and maintain some kind of worldly grasp on what they had taken. Though then I look at it further, and you see their paradoxical moves which could do nothing but work against their motives.
Example:
- Invading third world countries to expand their empire. Uhh, sorry to mention it Russia; but what good are third world countries? Other than being a massive drain on your time, resources and military presence. Nice try, morons.
- Making huge reductions in their military force in hopes to have America do the same, though never actually getting anyone to agree - just kind of "guessing" their enemies would follow suit after they downsized their military. Hmm, let's see here .. you actually need an ARMY to be able to wage war, Russia. Once again I congratulate you on your logical thinking and excellent planning.
Now I know some of you suck-ass, Russian-lovers are saying: "Why not give them a chance to respond to your accusations and statements of pure disgust?".
So here it is:
That's exactly right; jibberish. They get their one chance to redeem themselves, and what do they have to say? Complete nonsense which isn't even an actual language.
Russians enjoy making the world a horrible place, have a nice day.