(no subject)
If the summer continues this way, I'll need a warm summer hat and summer gloves... Yesterday I had to borrow 
Pauliinan's pullover to be able to walk her dog with her and today was no better. Hrrr...
They're gonna renovate the balconies in this house, so finally today I got active and washed the chairs and the table, and tomorrow will bring them in. The rest of today I spent with Pauliina around the cafes and centre of the city. Once again, we noticed we so have no lives, as we realised having been pondering on the same awful Sprite commercials around Helsinki by ourselves and then were discussing about them vigorously together for quite some time... Saw
klytaimestra and L. passing by at the subway stairs.:)
At night, talked long with
Heinin via Messenger - among other things, about our childhood. We tried to figure out if there just could have been something we haven't realised before that has lead us children to these problems we now have. We couldn't really find anything. Our childhood just was normal and good and loving. To hell with all these psychoanalysts... They make us think and think and think about these things year after year and we - good girls as we are - try to remember something traumatic to tell them when there obviously is nothing to tell.
There was something, though, that I've been blaming myself about for years, concerning my behaviour toward H. and everyone else in the family too. Today H. told me she doesn't think those things as bad, barely remembers them as she doesn't think them as being very important things. I felt dizzy even talking about the subject. Now I feel relieved and am happy we came to talking about it.
Talking about these kinda subjects always made me think - again - that I shoud talk about these with my shrink and should continue going there every week instead of every second. But I think like this evrey time I'm home. When I'm there I always notice how I don't connect with him at all and how little it helps to go there. Well, I think he will still be able to help me after the surgery. I guess he's okay when talking about all this physical stuff. I've also only recently heard that there actually exists something called post-surgery depression which might occur after the wounds have healed, when the mind begins to handle what has happened. So I'm glad I'll still have the psychiatric contact then.
Pauliinan's pullover to be able to walk her dog with her and today was no better. Hrrr...
They're gonna renovate the balconies in this house, so finally today I got active and washed the chairs and the table, and tomorrow will bring them in. The rest of today I spent with Pauliina around the cafes and centre of the city. Once again, we noticed we so have no lives, as we realised having been pondering on the same awful Sprite commercials around Helsinki by ourselves and then were discussing about them vigorously together for quite some time... Saw
klytaimestra and L. passing by at the subway stairs.:)
At night, talked long with
Heinin via Messenger - among other things, about our childhood. We tried to figure out if there just could have been something we haven't realised before that has lead us children to these problems we now have. We couldn't really find anything. Our childhood just was normal and good and loving. To hell with all these psychoanalysts... They make us think and think and think about these things year after year and we - good girls as we are - try to remember something traumatic to tell them when there obviously is nothing to tell.
There was something, though, that I've been blaming myself about for years, concerning my behaviour toward H. and everyone else in the family too. Today H. told me she doesn't think those things as bad, barely remembers them as she doesn't think them as being very important things. I felt dizzy even talking about the subject. Now I feel relieved and am happy we came to talking about it.
Talking about these kinda subjects always made me think - again - that I shoud talk about these with my shrink and should continue going there every week instead of every second. But I think like this evrey time I'm home. When I'm there I always notice how I don't connect with him at all and how little it helps to go there. Well, I think he will still be able to help me after the surgery. I guess he's okay when talking about all this physical stuff. I've also only recently heard that there actually exists something called post-surgery depression which might occur after the wounds have healed, when the mind begins to handle what has happened. So I'm glad I'll still have the psychiatric contact then.