(no subject)
I am so drained.
Lately, we've been arguing with M a lot cause he's been stressed out cause of his new job and cause I've been so drained.
My whole life now is thinking about the upcoming surgery and trying to cope ´till the next day and the next moment.
Spent a very nice evening with Klytaimestra yesterday. During the evening, she expressed her concern of our friendship turning into a mutual therapeutic sessions. As much as I hate to admit it, she might be right worrying about it; but as we now recognise this, I hope it can be avoided. I just feel it's all my fault, although she didn't say so. It's just that right now, there're no "normal" things happening in my life. I can't seem to tell any nice things about my life. I don't know what I should do really. I certainly don't wanna be or become one of those people who use their friends as dumpsters.
By the way, when telling her about some of my strangest psychical symptoms, she described them as sounding psychotic. This made me a bit scared even though I was describing them as a feeling of my "personality's shattering"... Am I really going crazy? Do I really need medication for psychotic symptoms? Why doesn't my psychiatrist take me seriously with this, or is this really just harmless? I'll have the next meeting with him on Tuesday and will discuss about this, but I'm not expecting too much of help.
Pleeeeez let me have that surgery soon or else I won't have any life or sense in me left by the time. Or a boyfriend for that matter.:(
Lately, we've been arguing with M a lot cause he's been stressed out cause of his new job and cause I've been so drained.
My whole life now is thinking about the upcoming surgery and trying to cope ´till the next day and the next moment.
Spent a very nice evening with Klytaimestra yesterday. During the evening, she expressed her concern of our friendship turning into a mutual therapeutic sessions. As much as I hate to admit it, she might be right worrying about it; but as we now recognise this, I hope it can be avoided. I just feel it's all my fault, although she didn't say so. It's just that right now, there're no "normal" things happening in my life. I can't seem to tell any nice things about my life. I don't know what I should do really. I certainly don't wanna be or become one of those people who use their friends as dumpsters.
By the way, when telling her about some of my strangest psychical symptoms, she described them as sounding psychotic. This made me a bit scared even though I was describing them as a feeling of my "personality's shattering"... Am I really going crazy? Do I really need medication for psychotic symptoms? Why doesn't my psychiatrist take me seriously with this, or is this really just harmless? I'll have the next meeting with him on Tuesday and will discuss about this, but I'm not expecting too much of help.
Pleeeeez let me have that surgery soon or else I won't have any life or sense in me left by the time. Or a boyfriend for that matter.:(