Wasting 20's
As of late I'm realizing that my "prime years" are being wasted. It's been said college is where so many people find themselves. But, apparently I'm hiding pretty damn well. What scares me the most though is that I think I've found what I've known for a long time. I'm just stubborn and refuse to believe. I have visions of what I want to achieve in life. In high school I dreamed of going to college, living in the dorms, meeting new people, finally getting away from the home that breeds my problems. That dream was shattered. I was forced to attend Kent State University, which is still a blessing, but a far cry from what I envisioned. The college experience has been my dream from the time I was in grade school. It's funny how it's nothing at all the way I hoped it would be. I feel like everything I ever dream about and I'm passionate about, is ripped and pried from my grip. Now, I'm stuck at home, still putting on this facade and living the cookie cutter life that everyone expects. I am SO sick of conforming to what everyone else wants I could scream. Why am I being robbed of my joy?
Today, in Human Communications we were asked to draw a circle, and in the center was our deepest darkest secrets that people don't know about. The outside perimeter was the acquaintances that barely know you. It's sad to think that your family lies on the outer edge. It's sad that there are 2 people that border my core.
I just feel like I have so much to offer, but I've been robbed of the chance of being that guy. I deserve to be happy as much as anyone else does. Meanwhile, I live at home, go to college get mediocre grades, work at applebees make mediocre money, I'm the president of a mediocre colony....is this what I have to look forward to in life is mediocrity, because if so the barrel of a rifle looks more promising. I'm tired of working my ass of to be miserable. Is this what everyone else does? Lets work our ass off to be in debt, to dispise our families, and hate life. I know that's what my life consists of now, and if it continues....I won't...I try to everything I can to make things better, but the weights I bare are crushing me and I can't hold out much longer.
Today, in Human Communications we were asked to draw a circle, and in the center was our deepest darkest secrets that people don't know about. The outside perimeter was the acquaintances that barely know you. It's sad to think that your family lies on the outer edge. It's sad that there are 2 people that border my core.
I just feel like I have so much to offer, but I've been robbed of the chance of being that guy. I deserve to be happy as much as anyone else does. Meanwhile, I live at home, go to college get mediocre grades, work at applebees make mediocre money, I'm the president of a mediocre colony....is this what I have to look forward to in life is mediocrity, because if so the barrel of a rifle looks more promising. I'm tired of working my ass of to be miserable. Is this what everyone else does? Lets work our ass off to be in debt, to dispise our families, and hate life. I know that's what my life consists of now, and if it continues....I won't...I try to everything I can to make things better, but the weights I bare are crushing me and I can't hold out much longer.