(no subject)
It's been forever since I posted anything. I'm not a big LJ person, I still read and check up and comment though. Life is up and down for me. Up in that i'm dating, I don't want to talk about it on my computer but I will say these damn cats are still here. I like that. I work pretty regular and pay most of my bills. Things suck right now because I was not able to pay AT&T all the money I owe them, I gave them 300, but they won't put my phone back on till I give them another 350. Luckily I worked a ton last week and should be able to swing it, as soon as they pay me that is. My roomate situation is going well, he's a tubby bastard but we do alright. None of my friends have abandoned me despite my less comunication, and I appreciate that very much. It feels good to have friends that I can still talk to and tell everything to, but we can handle a little distance. Lia, Wendy, Lacey and Nicole, also Nate and Isaac, Tiffany and Blythe who probably won't read this but I want you to know just in case, hell even my on-line friends, thanks for being my friends. I love work, I go and have my friends from out here to talk to which rules. Today we played a violent game of Spoons and I laughed all day. It's nice to also have friends you can talk movies with, before I just had Lia(still do though). They know more about some types of movies than I do, i'm still pretty damn good though. But I have places to go when I feel like, but I can also chill at home if I want, I dread my days off, but I can deal and I even make it to Bally's on a regular basis, I don't know if it takes but I feel better. These are good with one or two negatives mixed in. My real negative right now though is Tony's gone. My best friends in the world are Tony and Isaac, I won't go into talking about them, but Isaac has been gone for a year and a half and barely reachable, Tony got shipped away this morning, and I'm not even sure where. He tried to call, but the lack of a cell phone made it impossible so I have to wait till I can talk to his mom to be sure, and I might not see him for two years. And it could be longer. Much longer, and I couldn't deal with that. A few weeks ago he got into a car wreck and for about 10 minutes I didn't know how he was, and I couldn't breathe. Until just my most recent visit a month ago we talked 3 times a week. With him leaving, and his new girlfriend and one craptacular visit we weren't talking as much though I tried. Now I'm not sure what to do. I'm sure all of you have had best friends at some point, some still do, but for me I've only had the two, of which Tony and I have been closer with Isaac gone. I'm never going to make better friends. I'm depressed, and scared, and I feel pretty useless right now. All the good, and this is all it takes to make the rest not matter. It's funny though, just before x-mas I found out he might be shipped to war, right after is when I realized how much I loved California and didn't want to be in MN or VA anymore, the whole last two years when things weren't ever to happy, not to say there weren't good times and good friends(i've mentioned you by name, and there's one or two like Vanessa, Alex, Kristi, and a few others that I consider friends, i just don't talk to much), just never all at once for too, long, know what I mean. I guess what I'm saying is I'm girl, acting, and not being poor motivated. I'm dating, I'm emersed in the world I always dreamed about, hoping to only go deeper, and while I'm still kinda poor, I make do by working hard. My three tiered plan is slowly going somewhere, and I just realized I'd give it all up to know my friend is going to come back.