Awww the fun shit
*snarls* What a crappy week this has turned out to be. I dunno what to do. I tried to talk to my Mom about the way im being treated at home. i want to leave my home. why? cuz i dun get treated like a human being. i want to learn to be independent o i can be ready to face the real world when the time comes.
ok so i dont REALLY wanna move out. not yet. i just want to be treated like a member of the family. c'mon folx? what kind of daughter AM i anyway? the evil kind. oh yes. i ask my mom how her day was and how she feels almost everyday. i tell her i love her. i ask if she would like anything to eat or if i can buy her some dinner wouldnt that be nice? yes. im a bad girl. now its true im lazy and i dont do all my chores like i should. Of course....itd be nice if i werent the only one with crappy chores. sure my bro had chores. what does he do? he takes out the trash, feeds the dogs, and...well gee...thats it. What do I do? Bath dogs (we have 7), vacuum the whole house, do laundry (towels and sometimes moms laundry)clean both bathrooms, dust the whole house, clean the kitchen, mop the floors, clean up any shit, puke, or piss accidents the dogs make in the house (which is at least once a week), and...oh yeah....scoop poop offa the back patio.
Eesh. Now...dun gimme crap that oh gee van...yer older and therefore you should have more chores. BULLFUCKINGSHIT. i was doing all that when i was his age...only we had 6 dogs to 5 dogs (we took in my uncle's dog for a while). I dun do it all. i mostly skip out on dusting for a few weex. i normally do the floors, kitchen, laundry, and bathrooms on a regular basis.
So back to Tuesday night when i tried to talk to my mom about all this. I was bitching about how its gonna suck later in my life cuz ive NO job experience and i still dont know how to drive and that they are ruining my future. She went on to say that i cant even do my chores right so how can i be prepared for my future. She then said that soon my bro would be getting more chores. Key moment.
Shes been saying that for years. 5 years now. So i said just the. "youve been saying that for years"
The truth...shall set you free. In my case it will be a boot outta the door. She told me to shut up or else id be taking a walk down the street with my dog on lead. In other words shed kick me out. So i shut up...and went to bed. Cried for bout and hour...two hours...who knows? it was that hard, horrible kind of crying when you cant scream and you cant seem to get it out. I made my head hurt really bad for that. Then my mom came in at some point and made her proclamation. "you will never bath another one of my dogs. And in return, you will pay for your dog's food, medication, and you will feed him yourself. You will never ask me for a ride anywhere, and i will never take you anywhere. i will not pick you up from school, and you will have to pay for your own food." cried evern more after this. i finally fell asleep and didnt dream. didna sleep very well.
When i woke up the next morning...i remembered, and cried some more. i forced myself to stop cuz i didna want my family to see me cry. they did anyway. While in the car on the way to school (my dad taxe me) he started to lecture me. "you think life is so easy on your own..." no i dont "and you take everything we do for for granted..." no i dont "you have no idea what its like to be on your own..." yes i do "blah blablablablablablablablabalablah." all they do is assume. assume assume assume. they never ask whats really wrong. im NOT ingrateful. i KNOW how lucky i am to have parents pay for my college. im NOT stupid.
anyway dad drops me off >lecture lecture< and i just let go. i cry really hard some more. i go to the bathroom on campus...some man sees me and asks if im ok. no, no im not. i take a look at myself in the mirror and think...no way. im not going to class today. so i call april at 7:05 am and ask if she could come and pick me up. thank God, she does. Blake and april come get my butt, and i sit at their place, whine about my troubles, take a couple green hits, and watch vampire hunter D. That was a trip to watch! After that i slept for a couple hours, woke up and watched Trin Dolls....more anime. ridiculous porn anime. it passed the time since blake and april were asleep in their room.
Now the subject of blake and april....ive never sen a couple so well matched....so perfect for eachother. The way they talk with eachother...not just "to eachother" but "with". They stare at eachother over a meal of mcdonald's breakfast with a look that excludes everyone else in the world. sometimes i hate feeling so left out. but not really. cuz im so happy for em. april is so pretty....so strong. And Blake is gorgeous, feminine in ways that every girl could die for...A match made in heaven. Is it true love? can it be? two raver stoner trance lovers in true love? time will tell. Know what else? ive never met people Irl that were so enthralled with me art. they were flipping thru my sketchbook...no. not flipping. most people flip through it, sparing no more than a brief glance. But they...they look at each and every single page...really look. they are in love w. my anime. o.O oog. i wish i could show them all the artwork online that ive seen...thyed drop mine in an instant and say wow to theirs. but they truly enjoy my art. and i truly enjoy their friendship.
im still so sad. why dont you just ask why ive been so upset mom? i always ask you what wrongs...you saw my recent drawings. doesnt that SAY something to you?
ok so i dont REALLY wanna move out. not yet. i just want to be treated like a member of the family. c'mon folx? what kind of daughter AM i anyway? the evil kind. oh yes. i ask my mom how her day was and how she feels almost everyday. i tell her i love her. i ask if she would like anything to eat or if i can buy her some dinner wouldnt that be nice? yes. im a bad girl. now its true im lazy and i dont do all my chores like i should. Of course....itd be nice if i werent the only one with crappy chores. sure my bro had chores. what does he do? he takes out the trash, feeds the dogs, and...well gee...thats it. What do I do? Bath dogs (we have 7), vacuum the whole house, do laundry (towels and sometimes moms laundry)clean both bathrooms, dust the whole house, clean the kitchen, mop the floors, clean up any shit, puke, or piss accidents the dogs make in the house (which is at least once a week), and...oh yeah....scoop poop offa the back patio.
Eesh. Now...dun gimme crap that oh gee van...yer older and therefore you should have more chores. BULLFUCKINGSHIT. i was doing all that when i was his age...only we had 6 dogs to 5 dogs (we took in my uncle's dog for a while). I dun do it all. i mostly skip out on dusting for a few weex. i normally do the floors, kitchen, laundry, and bathrooms on a regular basis.
So back to Tuesday night when i tried to talk to my mom about all this. I was bitching about how its gonna suck later in my life cuz ive NO job experience and i still dont know how to drive and that they are ruining my future. She went on to say that i cant even do my chores right so how can i be prepared for my future. She then said that soon my bro would be getting more chores. Key moment.
Shes been saying that for years. 5 years now. So i said just the. "youve been saying that for years"
The truth...shall set you free. In my case it will be a boot outta the door. She told me to shut up or else id be taking a walk down the street with my dog on lead. In other words shed kick me out. So i shut up...and went to bed. Cried for bout and hour...two hours...who knows? it was that hard, horrible kind of crying when you cant scream and you cant seem to get it out. I made my head hurt really bad for that. Then my mom came in at some point and made her proclamation. "you will never bath another one of my dogs. And in return, you will pay for your dog's food, medication, and you will feed him yourself. You will never ask me for a ride anywhere, and i will never take you anywhere. i will not pick you up from school, and you will have to pay for your own food." cried evern more after this. i finally fell asleep and didnt dream. didna sleep very well.
When i woke up the next morning...i remembered, and cried some more. i forced myself to stop cuz i didna want my family to see me cry. they did anyway. While in the car on the way to school (my dad taxe me) he started to lecture me. "you think life is so easy on your own..." no i dont "and you take everything we do for for granted..." no i dont "you have no idea what its like to be on your own..." yes i do "blah blablablablablablablablabalablah." all they do is assume. assume assume assume. they never ask whats really wrong. im NOT ingrateful. i KNOW how lucky i am to have parents pay for my college. im NOT stupid.
anyway dad drops me off >lecture lecture< and i just let go. i cry really hard some more. i go to the bathroom on campus...some man sees me and asks if im ok. no, no im not. i take a look at myself in the mirror and think...no way. im not going to class today. so i call april at 7:05 am and ask if she could come and pick me up. thank God, she does. Blake and april come get my butt, and i sit at their place, whine about my troubles, take a couple green hits, and watch vampire hunter D. That was a trip to watch! After that i slept for a couple hours, woke up and watched Trin Dolls....more anime. ridiculous porn anime. it passed the time since blake and april were asleep in their room.
Now the subject of blake and april....ive never sen a couple so well matched....so perfect for eachother. The way they talk with eachother...not just "to eachother" but "with". They stare at eachother over a meal of mcdonald's breakfast with a look that excludes everyone else in the world. sometimes i hate feeling so left out. but not really. cuz im so happy for em. april is so pretty....so strong. And Blake is gorgeous, feminine in ways that every girl could die for...A match made in heaven. Is it true love? can it be? two raver stoner trance lovers in true love? time will tell. Know what else? ive never met people Irl that were so enthralled with me art. they were flipping thru my sketchbook...no. not flipping. most people flip through it, sparing no more than a brief glance. But they...they look at each and every single page...really look. they are in love w. my anime. o.O oog. i wish i could show them all the artwork online that ive seen...thyed drop mine in an instant and say wow to theirs. but they truly enjoy my art. and i truly enjoy their friendship.
im still so sad. why dont you just ask why ive been so upset mom? i always ask you what wrongs...you saw my recent drawings. doesnt that SAY something to you?