new update! finally got around to it again!
ok! long time since my last update, since life and work have still been kicking my ass. but there's stuff going on that I've been meaning to post for a while so it was time for me to finally get around to it.
so I'm getting laid off. yes, you heard me, my job is going *poof!*. they're reorganizing and changing what they do (which we knew they would do in the next 2 years... but we didn't know about it happening so soon or about them cutting so many jobs >_< ). but DON'T WORRY - this will actually probably work out BETTER for me in a lot of ways. we kinda half expected this though, ever since the company was acquired and became a subsidiary, and they told us months ago (supposedly to help get rid of rumors and uncertainty, but each time they said something they just INCREASED everyone's uncertainty..) that they were going to tell us about what the department's final headcount would be. it was kinda stupid... we were in this meeting when they were first telling us that there was going to be another round of layoffs.. and he said 'But don't worry! it's only these 2 departments that will be affected!' ....except in the 2nd shift meeting EVERY SINGLE PERSON in the room was from one of those two departments - so how were we not supposed to worry?? especially since we weren't going to know any of the details about how many people would get laid off for like at least 2 more full months at the time, wtf? but even when we finally found out how many people would be laid off (2/3 to 3/4 of my department) we didn't know WHO for several more days since they did it by having one on one meetings with everyone (even w/ the people they wanted to stay). and there are three different end dates so even if you were being asked to leave it could have been July, August, or even October when your job finally ended. I found out my answer pretty quick (on April 17th they told me) but like I said, life has been kicking my ass still these days so I hadn't gotten to posting about this yet.
but first of all, I still have my job for several more weeks. my last day of employment is July 3rd, which is a company holiday, and as they have to let us go at the end of a pay cycle (not sure why? but who cares, works better for us that way) they still have to pay us for the holiday and my last day physically at work will be July 2nd. being in the first group to go is actually beneficial in several ways though, since the other end dates are at the ends of months - and the health insurance is done by full months, so once you start the month even if they let you go they have to continue it to the end of the month, so I get an extra month of health insurance out of the deal. but then they're also going to pay our cobra IN FULL (omg, never expected it) for the full term of our severance, and due to how long I've been there that's 10 weeks worth for me (so I also get 10 weeks of pay in severance when I leave) so again it has to be rounded up to full months so that becomes 3 full months of them paying for it. that's a total of 4 MONTHS of insurance after I leave that I don't have to pay a dime for. so in other words, I don't even have to think about paying for insurance until like October for the month of November. and even then I guess obama put through this stimulus act thing w/ regards to cobra where the employer pays 2/3 of it and gets a tax write off of some sort in exchange and then the laid off employee is only responsible for the remaining 1/3 - which actually makes cobra AFFORDABLE this time around. that's good through at least through the end of the year (and my deductible is already paid off for the year and I have the really good high coverage health insurance plan that covers 100% of anything in network and 80% of anything out of network), and since I doubt the economy is going to be much better by then I bet they'll continue it. I've been saving up money for a while due to how uncertain my job was even before just because of my health, so I'm ok on money, I was just worried about health insurance, so now I'm not that worried about it because I know I'll still have insurance after I leave.
this gives me a chance to really deal with my health. the bad economy and how hard it is to find a job might actually work in my FAVOR in fact. because now I can go to my doctor and go 'ok, I'm getting laid off. I know you're reluctant to do surgery because of my age, but if you don't do something drastic I won't be able to find a new job to make a living or pay my medical bills, so you have to do something. either do the damn surgery and rip all that shit out or when I've been out of work for 6 months put me on disability'. ..the requirements last I knew for disability through social security (which I know I'm eligible for, and would be about half the income I'm making now at my job - but if I'm not commuting to work all the time, paying for as many meds so I can try to hold down a job, etc, then I won't spend as much anyway) were being unemployed for at least 6 months and having a doctor certify that you cannot do "significant work" for at least a year. and if they refuse to do surgery, then I can't do anything that requires I be on my feet since I was barely hanging on to a desk job tooth and nail and only by being on painkillers AND muscle relaxants 24/7. I'd say not being able to do anything on my feet counts as not being able to do "significant work", especially in this economy where most people can't afford to be too picky about what they get for a job. ...on the other hand if I had kept my job, not only would it keep kicking my ass and I'd have to stay on huge ever increasing doses of meds, but I'd also have to switch to day shift - which would only kick my ass even more. even given years I won't adjust to day shift (I think the first 18 or 19 years of my life prove that already), so it would just make my already bad medical problems that much worse by adding that much more strain to my body. so it's probably better not to keep my current job in some ways like that (plus, as my mom pointed out, after all these rounds of layoffs, even the people who don't lose their jobs can't really feel that they have a lot of job security and will just be wondering if it's a matter of time until they get let go too). I've also been contributing money to my HSA this year, and that's our money to keep, including the contribution from the company, and I know I have money in there - and it's pre-tax w/out penalties when used for qualified medical expenses, so worse come to worse if I'm having trouble affording stuff like my medical shakes I can use that money to get by for even longer.
it'll also finally give me the time I need to rest up - I am SOOOOOOOOO exhausted. the weekend is not long enough to rest up from the work week, so I just keep working myself farther and farther into exhaustion. I need several weeks to just do nothing but rest, and I didn't have the time off for that. and medical leave is only for as long as absolutely needed, and all has to be well documented by your doctor, etc, and I'm not sure I would have wanted (if I was keeping my job) to waste that time on just resting if I might end up needing surgery later. plus once I'm rested up, I can work on getting in better shape and doing physical therapy and all that other crap that I couldn't do before because I had to worry about feeling ok enough to drag my sorry ass in to work the next day.
but in terms of talking w/ my doctor about all of this I have an appointment on Monday to see her. I needed to talk to her about stuff anyway - there's one medication I'm not sure is lasting as long as it's supposed to anymore and need to see if I should keep taking, and I'm out of refills on my prescriptions for all my painkillers and muscle relaxants. this way we might be able to start looking for somewhere to refer me to start discussions about surgery (since I know APD doesn't have all the equipment they would need to do all the stuff they should do) so that maybe I can get the surgery scheduled for this summer after I lose my job (there's always a long wait for surgery appointments... hell, even the referral appointment to meet with someone to talk about whether they're willing to do surgery can have a several month wait in some places like at Dartmouth..)
so I'm actually not that worried, and am rather optimistic about how this will turn out. I at least shouldn't be that much worse off than I was before because I at least have the safety net of disability if my health doesn't improve - so it's kind of a win-win situation in a lot of ways.
in the meantime, I'm sure life will continue kicking my ass while I'm still working, and I won't be online much, etc., but at least come July I'll have plenty of time to spend catching up with everyone!
so I'm getting laid off. yes, you heard me, my job is going *poof!*. they're reorganizing and changing what they do (which we knew they would do in the next 2 years... but we didn't know about it happening so soon or about them cutting so many jobs >_< ). but DON'T WORRY - this will actually probably work out BETTER for me in a lot of ways. we kinda half expected this though, ever since the company was acquired and became a subsidiary, and they told us months ago (supposedly to help get rid of rumors and uncertainty, but each time they said something they just INCREASED everyone's uncertainty..) that they were going to tell us about what the department's final headcount would be. it was kinda stupid... we were in this meeting when they were first telling us that there was going to be another round of layoffs.. and he said 'But don't worry! it's only these 2 departments that will be affected!' ....except in the 2nd shift meeting EVERY SINGLE PERSON in the room was from one of those two departments - so how were we not supposed to worry?? especially since we weren't going to know any of the details about how many people would get laid off for like at least 2 more full months at the time, wtf? but even when we finally found out how many people would be laid off (2/3 to 3/4 of my department) we didn't know WHO for several more days since they did it by having one on one meetings with everyone (even w/ the people they wanted to stay). and there are three different end dates so even if you were being asked to leave it could have been July, August, or even October when your job finally ended. I found out my answer pretty quick (on April 17th they told me) but like I said, life has been kicking my ass still these days so I hadn't gotten to posting about this yet.
but first of all, I still have my job for several more weeks. my last day of employment is July 3rd, which is a company holiday, and as they have to let us go at the end of a pay cycle (not sure why? but who cares, works better for us that way) they still have to pay us for the holiday and my last day physically at work will be July 2nd. being in the first group to go is actually beneficial in several ways though, since the other end dates are at the ends of months - and the health insurance is done by full months, so once you start the month even if they let you go they have to continue it to the end of the month, so I get an extra month of health insurance out of the deal. but then they're also going to pay our cobra IN FULL (omg, never expected it) for the full term of our severance, and due to how long I've been there that's 10 weeks worth for me (so I also get 10 weeks of pay in severance when I leave) so again it has to be rounded up to full months so that becomes 3 full months of them paying for it. that's a total of 4 MONTHS of insurance after I leave that I don't have to pay a dime for. so in other words, I don't even have to think about paying for insurance until like October for the month of November. and even then I guess obama put through this stimulus act thing w/ regards to cobra where the employer pays 2/3 of it and gets a tax write off of some sort in exchange and then the laid off employee is only responsible for the remaining 1/3 - which actually makes cobra AFFORDABLE this time around. that's good through at least through the end of the year (and my deductible is already paid off for the year and I have the really good high coverage health insurance plan that covers 100% of anything in network and 80% of anything out of network), and since I doubt the economy is going to be much better by then I bet they'll continue it. I've been saving up money for a while due to how uncertain my job was even before just because of my health, so I'm ok on money, I was just worried about health insurance, so now I'm not that worried about it because I know I'll still have insurance after I leave.
this gives me a chance to really deal with my health. the bad economy and how hard it is to find a job might actually work in my FAVOR in fact. because now I can go to my doctor and go 'ok, I'm getting laid off. I know you're reluctant to do surgery because of my age, but if you don't do something drastic I won't be able to find a new job to make a living or pay my medical bills, so you have to do something. either do the damn surgery and rip all that shit out or when I've been out of work for 6 months put me on disability'. ..the requirements last I knew for disability through social security (which I know I'm eligible for, and would be about half the income I'm making now at my job - but if I'm not commuting to work all the time, paying for as many meds so I can try to hold down a job, etc, then I won't spend as much anyway) were being unemployed for at least 6 months and having a doctor certify that you cannot do "significant work" for at least a year. and if they refuse to do surgery, then I can't do anything that requires I be on my feet since I was barely hanging on to a desk job tooth and nail and only by being on painkillers AND muscle relaxants 24/7. I'd say not being able to do anything on my feet counts as not being able to do "significant work", especially in this economy where most people can't afford to be too picky about what they get for a job. ...on the other hand if I had kept my job, not only would it keep kicking my ass and I'd have to stay on huge ever increasing doses of meds, but I'd also have to switch to day shift - which would only kick my ass even more. even given years I won't adjust to day shift (I think the first 18 or 19 years of my life prove that already), so it would just make my already bad medical problems that much worse by adding that much more strain to my body. so it's probably better not to keep my current job in some ways like that (plus, as my mom pointed out, after all these rounds of layoffs, even the people who don't lose their jobs can't really feel that they have a lot of job security and will just be wondering if it's a matter of time until they get let go too). I've also been contributing money to my HSA this year, and that's our money to keep, including the contribution from the company, and I know I have money in there - and it's pre-tax w/out penalties when used for qualified medical expenses, so worse come to worse if I'm having trouble affording stuff like my medical shakes I can use that money to get by for even longer.
it'll also finally give me the time I need to rest up - I am SOOOOOOOOO exhausted. the weekend is not long enough to rest up from the work week, so I just keep working myself farther and farther into exhaustion. I need several weeks to just do nothing but rest, and I didn't have the time off for that. and medical leave is only for as long as absolutely needed, and all has to be well documented by your doctor, etc, and I'm not sure I would have wanted (if I was keeping my job) to waste that time on just resting if I might end up needing surgery later. plus once I'm rested up, I can work on getting in better shape and doing physical therapy and all that other crap that I couldn't do before because I had to worry about feeling ok enough to drag my sorry ass in to work the next day.
but in terms of talking w/ my doctor about all of this I have an appointment on Monday to see her. I needed to talk to her about stuff anyway - there's one medication I'm not sure is lasting as long as it's supposed to anymore and need to see if I should keep taking, and I'm out of refills on my prescriptions for all my painkillers and muscle relaxants. this way we might be able to start looking for somewhere to refer me to start discussions about surgery (since I know APD doesn't have all the equipment they would need to do all the stuff they should do) so that maybe I can get the surgery scheduled for this summer after I lose my job (there's always a long wait for surgery appointments... hell, even the referral appointment to meet with someone to talk about whether they're willing to do surgery can have a several month wait in some places like at Dartmouth..)
so I'm actually not that worried, and am rather optimistic about how this will turn out. I at least shouldn't be that much worse off than I was before because I at least have the safety net of disability if my health doesn't improve - so it's kind of a win-win situation in a lot of ways.
in the meantime, I'm sure life will continue kicking my ass while I'm still working, and I won't be online much, etc., but at least come July I'll have plenty of time to spend catching up with everyone!