(no subject)
In a bid to salvage a bit of what I was I decided to go forth and rock the boat of corporate thinking :)
Yesterday evening I searched and found the half-march financial report for our company's shareholders (who are my direct bosses) and euhm... rewrote the introduction.
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My new introduction translated to english:
Even in the darkest of times there are lights. This is also true for (our company), business-management succeeded in exceeding certain targets even in the disastrous month of March. These targets include a magnificent 700% result on the target for loss of jobs (XX instead of the calculated X). Yet, inside the company people notice little of this succes. There are no celebrations or anything.
Ideas to save jobs by cutting back on the expensive lease-cars for sales-people were not passed by management. Still, clear action has been taken, NEARLY all holidays for the salesteam have been cancelled. This at least managed to change the teamspirit since the primary executive was allowed to go on holliday anyways.
A direct result of these briliant tactics are an increase in costs for sales people who (holiday or not) do not meet their sales targets anyway.
We expect in the coming months a further cut by management on the job (and car) of at least one sales-person (so she soon will have time enough to go on holiday). Secondly we expect that share-holders will cut the jobs of available CEO's from 1 to 0 within two months.
We conclude that it is very unlikely that with all these activities the targets for April will be made. Except of course the target for the loss of jobs.
Sincerely yours,
your interim editor
GJ
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Now I know that the powers-that-be have read this. I also know that they have been smiling all day. I also know that there was an unusual amount of "Would you like some tea?" by both my bosses. My colleague and friend Jeroen who is responsible for these reports knew about my little change and he just told me that my remarks would help form an image.
Yesterday evening I searched and found the half-march financial report for our company's shareholders (who are my direct bosses) and euhm... rewrote the introduction.
***************************************************
My new introduction translated to english:
Even in the darkest of times there are lights. This is also true for (our company), business-management succeeded in exceeding certain targets even in the disastrous month of March. These targets include a magnificent 700% result on the target for loss of jobs (XX instead of the calculated X). Yet, inside the company people notice little of this succes. There are no celebrations or anything.
Ideas to save jobs by cutting back on the expensive lease-cars for sales-people were not passed by management. Still, clear action has been taken, NEARLY all holidays for the salesteam have been cancelled. This at least managed to change the teamspirit since the primary executive was allowed to go on holliday anyways.
A direct result of these briliant tactics are an increase in costs for sales people who (holiday or not) do not meet their sales targets anyway.
We expect in the coming months a further cut by management on the job (and car) of at least one sales-person (so she soon will have time enough to go on holiday). Secondly we expect that share-holders will cut the jobs of available CEO's from 1 to 0 within two months.
We conclude that it is very unlikely that with all these activities the targets for April will be made. Except of course the target for the loss of jobs.
Sincerely yours,
your interim editor
GJ
***************************************************
Now I know that the powers-that-be have read this. I also know that they have been smiling all day. I also know that there was an unusual amount of "Would you like some tea?" by both my bosses. My colleague and friend Jeroen who is responsible for these reports knew about my little change and he just told me that my remarks would help form an image.