Nothing's changed
So it's February already and nothing in my life has changed since November last year. I'm not sure if I'm depressed, lazy, or both. Some days I seem quite content to sit here at my desk and do absolutely nothing but scroll through Facebook and read articles all day. Other days I actually do some work and feel a sense of accomplishment which makes me feel good but then I go back to the same lazy behaviour again. Do I want to be a Marketing Coordinator at the age of 40? Not really. But what do I want to do? I don't want to be a Marketing Manager, it would be too stressful and I'm not sure I even enjoy marketing in the slightest. Or writing. It just seems like it's something that I'm moderately OK at and is fairly easy to do.
Why don't I have any passion for anything?
I mean ideally I'd like to teach English to migrants or work in the arts industry. I should probably do more research into it.
At the end of the day it's not the end of the world. I'm learning skills here and who knows maybe my pay rate will be increased a bit so I feel more motivated to actually do some hard work. Maybe I'll get to travel. Maybe I took this lousy job under false pretenses and I'm blaming myself for taking the first job that came my way.
Just have to stick it out until the end of the year when Trav and I go on our Central American holiday.
Some days I regret leaving the Advertiser. But I don't regret leaving a situation where I felt borderline bullied and snowed under every day. I'm happier here, but I'm still not content.
I think that's the point I'm trying to get across. I'm not content in my job. I have the feeling that I should be doing something else. I want to enjoy what I do, not just put up with it. Having apathy for your workplace isn't a good thing.
Maybe I'm taking it too seriously, but you do spend the majority of your life in your workplace. Do I want to be spending it here with the only solace the knowledge I'll be going on holiday in ten months time? No.
I'd better start planning for a future I will enjoy. My happiness and inner fulfillment is at stake. And that's important.
Why don't I have any passion for anything?
I mean ideally I'd like to teach English to migrants or work in the arts industry. I should probably do more research into it.
At the end of the day it's not the end of the world. I'm learning skills here and who knows maybe my pay rate will be increased a bit so I feel more motivated to actually do some hard work. Maybe I'll get to travel. Maybe I took this lousy job under false pretenses and I'm blaming myself for taking the first job that came my way.
Just have to stick it out until the end of the year when Trav and I go on our Central American holiday.
Some days I regret leaving the Advertiser. But I don't regret leaving a situation where I felt borderline bullied and snowed under every day. I'm happier here, but I'm still not content.
I think that's the point I'm trying to get across. I'm not content in my job. I have the feeling that I should be doing something else. I want to enjoy what I do, not just put up with it. Having apathy for your workplace isn't a good thing.
Maybe I'm taking it too seriously, but you do spend the majority of your life in your workplace. Do I want to be spending it here with the only solace the knowledge I'll be going on holiday in ten months time? No.
I'd better start planning for a future I will enjoy. My happiness and inner fulfillment is at stake. And that's important.