9# God's Diary
9# God's Diary
Sometimes you feel like darkness and sadness overwhelm you, sometimes it's like the night closes in, but then the sun will be rising again and you'll find a silver lining.
Yep I heard “what faith can do”- Kutless.. and actually it is one of my favourite Songs.
I didn't knew what to write, so after thinking about it I guess I am going to write a little bit more about how god changed me and about my journey with god.
Sometimes you wish something and you don't believe that this may come true. It's a little bit funny maybe, but before I became a christian, I think it must have been 7 years ago, I was always watching 7th Heaven and I quess it was then when I thought `huh, I'd like to work in church. Because you can help people and give them hope.` lol yeah at that time I didn't even had a relationship with god. I thought that I wasn't worth it because I wasn't baptised and my parents weren't married when I was born and because I wasn't worth it.
I still can not believe how much god changed me and my life. I still can not believe that I am studying Protestant Religious Education in my minor. I mean I just became a christian 3 years ago.
You don't know, but this journey wasn't always easy. It brought me to my knees and sometimes I felt like the saddest girl in the world. Today I think it was one of the most important times of my life, I accepted that god can break me to make me totally new.
He was never totally breaking me, but sometimes it felt like that. It was a very complicated and emotional trip. In my last entry I already used that quote
“IF GOD BRINGS YOU TO IT, HE WILL BRING YOU THROUGH IT”
Now, I would like to add “ God promises a safe landing, but not a calm passage” . You know that we often hang on things, that are actually not good for us and mostly we live in the past and we define our future through our past. We expect things to happen again, bad things to happen again. But we do not recognize the present, what is happening right now in that particular moment in our lifes.
It's freaking ..
I just can say that I couldn't be that close to god, when I haven't had accepted that he had to break me. Maybe I wouldn't even be a christian any more. I just can say that it was totally worth it to allow god to break me and make me a new person. It was worth the tears, it was worth the pain and it was worth the desperation.
M.Luther : “ You can never fall deeper than into the palm of god's hands.”
I promise you that he will not let things happen you can't get through, because he loves you. I know everyone is telling you that God gave his only begotten son, in order to free us from our sins.
Yes he did and I know it is strange to accept.
What really came to my mind during the last days was: he would do it again, strange if we thing about what is going on in our world right now, but he would do it again and he does it again and again, everytime someone accepts jesus as his/her saviour. Because you are worth it, because God loves you so much.
If we're through with being sad and through with being hurt god will raise us again. For me it took nearly 3 years, a very short time to my mind.. to the mind of my friends and to the mind of my family. But if you're at that point it is so amazing. If you're at that point it's like you could always worship.
When I started studying I was scared that I might fail as in school, but since I am studying I get closer to god everyday even if I sometimes don't feel it. He is changing me and he is rising me and he gave me authority. It's sometimes like I could talk about god all the time.
Even through the last 9 months since I started studying I learned how to trust in the lord, how to let him work in my life. We don't need to struggle with all the problems, sometimes it is enough to say: God I don't want to deal with that right at the moment, but I want to give it into you hands.
It always felt strange for me but I started trying it and it is working out fine :)
I always do that when I hand in my assignments for PRE and tests in my major. Because I know I am not the best but I still can't get it that I get some of the best grades of the whole classes and the best grades I had since I can think.. it's so great and I feel so relieved.
Sometimes you feel like darkness and sadness overwhelm you, sometimes it's like the night closes in, but then the sun will be rising again and you'll find a silver lining.
Yep I heard “what faith can do”- Kutless.. and actually it is one of my favourite Songs.
I didn't knew what to write, so after thinking about it I guess I am going to write a little bit more about how god changed me and about my journey with god.
Sometimes you wish something and you don't believe that this may come true. It's a little bit funny maybe, but before I became a christian, I think it must have been 7 years ago, I was always watching 7th Heaven and I quess it was then when I thought `huh, I'd like to work in church. Because you can help people and give them hope.` lol yeah at that time I didn't even had a relationship with god. I thought that I wasn't worth it because I wasn't baptised and my parents weren't married when I was born and because I wasn't worth it.
I still can not believe how much god changed me and my life. I still can not believe that I am studying Protestant Religious Education in my minor. I mean I just became a christian 3 years ago.
You don't know, but this journey wasn't always easy. It brought me to my knees and sometimes I felt like the saddest girl in the world. Today I think it was one of the most important times of my life, I accepted that god can break me to make me totally new.
He was never totally breaking me, but sometimes it felt like that. It was a very complicated and emotional trip. In my last entry I already used that quote
“IF GOD BRINGS YOU TO IT, HE WILL BRING YOU THROUGH IT”
Now, I would like to add “ God promises a safe landing, but not a calm passage” . You know that we often hang on things, that are actually not good for us and mostly we live in the past and we define our future through our past. We expect things to happen again, bad things to happen again. But we do not recognize the present, what is happening right now in that particular moment in our lifes.
It's freaking ..
I just can say that I couldn't be that close to god, when I haven't had accepted that he had to break me. Maybe I wouldn't even be a christian any more. I just can say that it was totally worth it to allow god to break me and make me a new person. It was worth the tears, it was worth the pain and it was worth the desperation.
M.Luther : “ You can never fall deeper than into the palm of god's hands.”
I promise you that he will not let things happen you can't get through, because he loves you. I know everyone is telling you that God gave his only begotten son, in order to free us from our sins.
Yes he did and I know it is strange to accept.
What really came to my mind during the last days was: he would do it again, strange if we thing about what is going on in our world right now, but he would do it again and he does it again and again, everytime someone accepts jesus as his/her saviour. Because you are worth it, because God loves you so much.
If we're through with being sad and through with being hurt god will raise us again. For me it took nearly 3 years, a very short time to my mind.. to the mind of my friends and to the mind of my family. But if you're at that point it is so amazing. If you're at that point it's like you could always worship.
When I started studying I was scared that I might fail as in school, but since I am studying I get closer to god everyday even if I sometimes don't feel it. He is changing me and he is rising me and he gave me authority. It's sometimes like I could talk about god all the time.
Even through the last 9 months since I started studying I learned how to trust in the lord, how to let him work in my life. We don't need to struggle with all the problems, sometimes it is enough to say: God I don't want to deal with that right at the moment, but I want to give it into you hands.
It always felt strange for me but I started trying it and it is working out fine :)
I always do that when I hand in my assignments for PRE and tests in my major. Because I know I am not the best but I still can't get it that I get some of the best grades of the whole classes and the best grades I had since I can think.. it's so great and I feel so relieved.