right now, it's fine
So winter break was really good overall.. there was ski trip, bowling, ice skating, general hanging around, reading, New Years Eve, etc. There was a lot of down time too. Lots of relaxing alone time to play with my thoughts... or get away from them.
Now, this isn't a whiny complaint or me trying to place blame, but observations of whom I spent the most time or least time with are interesting. It's surprising. Maybe not though? At this point it is a bit sad to say I don't care. I'm just sort at this place where I'm tired of making all the effort to call & plan. I've always somehow fallen into the role of planner. I hated it for the longest time, but now... I don't know. I can't say that I give up, just that I care a little less.
For example, I was in San Diego this weekend & a funny thought came to me. I stayed with a friend whom I spent the most time with in comparison to my other close friends during break at San Diego. The others I did not see at all. One didn't even return my phone call... & I'm just going to assume she didn't get it. I totally understand people being busy, I did just see you all over break.. once. I'm just saying it's interesting.
Last quarter when I was having a hard time, it was also interesting to see the ones that were really there & cared enough to ask how I was all the time.. even sometimes through other sources. =) haha to check if I was lying to them when I said I was okay I guess. I do cut you guys slack that aren't around me in person to see how I am. I realize it's a lot harder for you to realllly be there, but
I somehow magically found my peace. haha so corny, but true. I somehow feel more optimistic & just better about everything. I feel like it's going to be a good year.