(no subject)
I was trying to fall asleep last night. Thinking of all the other nights I have tried to fall asleep. How many hours I've wasted trying not to go over everything that has happened to me that day, that week, that month. How many times in my life I've looked with exasperation at the glowing face of the clock, calculating if I fall asleep in two minutes how many hours I'll have left to sleep before I have to wake up. Trying to focus on happy things so I don't get upset because the more upset I get the harder it is for me to fall asleep. I think insomnia is genetic. I don't know if insomniacs flock together, but I know most of my past freinds have had similar if not worse problems with sleeping. I have problems with noises too, outside noises, like snoring and music and televisions turned up too loud. Noises outside of my control. I've wasted months of my life trying to fall asleep.