i said no.
tuesday night: christian called me tons of times, it felt weird, ((i didnt awnser))
wednesday: wednesday was great, it was carmens b-day, after we got done with the test carmen, marcela, marco, edgar and i went to the mall. then they droped me off and left for somewhere, i had to go..tons of fun.. blah blah, later on the afternoon christian says he kept calling last night because he was outside my house and he wanted to know if i could hang out. i never told him where i lived, where was he getting this?? it freaked me out, then he said if i could hang out but i told him i couldnt because i had a huge test tomorow. then we got cut off, and then raul calls me. i thought it was christian and im like "it cut off huh?" and he said he didnt know what i was talking about then i asked who it was and it was raul. he is this friend i had from like 1 year ago, i hadnt seen him in for ever but we were really great friends. i think he even liked me, i dunno i sensed some gayness in him.. so yeh we talked and he kept asking me if he could come over because "he really needed to tell me something", i said no because i didnt want to and because i was too dam tired, after finally 20 minutes of him bothering me to come over i said that we would just talk tomorow. he finally gave up and we agreed on doing something tomorow.
thursday: my life feels like a fucking fucked up soap opera. went to skewl blah blah. the only good thing about today is that xeko, and i went shoping. i got some new suglasses :). then i came home and raul came over but we only talked for 10 minues because i had to go. later on he calls me and he says he REALLY needs to talk to me, so i got intrigued and i told him to meet me at this church thats like half a block from my house, i told my mom i was going to the seamstress (wich i really was..) and then when i was brushing my teeth i get a call from christian. he said he was outside my house and that if i could come out, i told him i was actually going out right now and that my friend was already waiting for me. then when i went outside christian was in this green silverado with all the windows totally painted black and some really pimp huge ass shiny rims. hmm, i smell dirty money..if u catch my drift. so he opend the door and offerd me a seat next to him but i told him a friend was waiting for me, and i pointed to this black altima that was parked on the street corner, then i told him to follow me a little bit away from my house so i wouldnt be in a view where my mom could see me if she peeked out the window. so then we talked for like 1 minute just random small talk and i told him i had to run. blah, luis vela was with him, that dude that i met me thru christian on msn and who asked me out to a club to "hang out". so i ran towards the car raul was in (its not his..) and i got in. he asked me who that was and i just said "a friend..". then we drove to the seamstress and we parked infront of it to talk really quick. then he said "i know." and i thought about it for a sec and i said.. "know what? say it." then he paused for a bit its as if he couldnt say it. "i KNOW..", then i figured he meant he knew i was gay, and i said "ooHh, who told u? reyna??" he said no and that he wouldnt tell me, then he said "u want to know something?..me 2" i SOOOOOOOOOOOOO knew it, his body language said it all, he was really nervous the first time he saw me earlier today, biteing his nails, not looking at my eyes or looking away when our eyes met, i so knew it. then he said "i had a huuuuge crush on u before, remember when i kept calling u and inviting u to go 'hang out'? " and i thought about it and its pretty much true, i liked him too but back in that age homosexuality felt like such a taboo i did not dare mention it. then i told him i liked him too and we laughed about it, and the whole time it felt really akward as if something was gonna hapen.. so i got out of the car and went to the seamstress and when i came back i asked him and bitched at him to tell me how he knew, "FINE FINE, christian told me!" i said ":O!! u know christian!? he was the one i talked to right now before i came over with u!" then raul was like :O! really!? let me call him!! so he called chrisitan (aparently they've known each other for some time..) and THE VERY FIRST THING christian said was "DUDE I MET DAVID!!!" hahaha he said it all giddy and excited, then raul told christian "IM THE ONE DAVID RAN OFF WITH U IDIOT!!" but since the car wasnt rauls car christian didnt recognize him, then they talked for a bit and they hung up, im like oohh fuck, i better be careful.. so then we went and parked over by the church t o talk and catch up for a while, then he said " i got another thing to confess, u look really cute.." im like ':O!..umm thx?' haha, then he said "what would u do if i tried to give u a kiss?", hmm that totally caught me off guard, what was i suposed to say? so i told him i didnt know and i subconciously got all quiet.. then it got akward again and he like leaned over closer to mee, i felt soo weird like we hadnt seen each other in years and now the dude is coming on to me! then he leaned closer and closer and was about to give me "a little peck" but im like fuck that!! i told him sorry that i just couldnt. i mean wtf do i give off a slutty image!? bahh... and i turned away and i just felt so embarassed haha, then it got all quiet and he said that he was sorry for doing that its just that "he couldnt resist". then i got a call on ym cel and its my mom she was all like "WHERE R U? WHY R U TAKEING SO LONG!?" so i told her i was about to get home and i told raul i had to go and i left for home. then i get a text from christian saying i looked very cute and that he hopes to get to know me better, blah!
so i take a nap and like i only rested for one hour when my god dam cel rings, it was raul (gee wut a surprise..) and we talked about stuff, including christian, suposedly christian and raul like each other! but im confused cause i thought they both liked me loL! i dunno! suposedly they were seeing each other i dunno im confused too! then he wants to know if i can hang out or something later on, im like yeah w/e let me sleep!! so then the afternoon rolls around and i hear some honking outside and i figure its raul so i go out and he is in this f-150 that looks alot like mine..weird. so i got in and he started like, indirectly hitting on me, like makeing random complements or giving me the bedroom eyes and blah!!! then i was sitting there tryng to change the situation by changing subject or something but i just couldnt, then when i had my hand rested on my lap he grabs it and holds my hand, im like blaaaahh!! o_O;, i didnt wanna be a total bitch and like take away my hand all cold and stuff, so i said im sorry i just cant and i took it away gently.. but he doesnt understand no, after a bit he tried it again and once agian i took my hand away, then he was like "hey come over here, i gotta tell u something" and me being the retard i am (i just woke up i was blah) i leaned over and he tried to kiss me again but i have really good reflexes and i managed to dodge it and push him away, lol bleh..ok this is getting worse, we laughed about it because i didnt wanna feel so weird, then he asked me if he could lay on my lap, im like wtf! no thx! but he didnt listen to me and layed down and used my legs as a pillow, and he grabbed my arm and put it on his chest, im like wtf is going on i said no!! it felt akward, it was all hapening so fast and so bleh i couldnt really act rationally.. and he asked if he could see my tummy. WTF NO. he tried lifting it up once or twice but i wouldnt let him, weird fuck. and he said he liked my scruffy look and then caresed (sp?) my cheek. :S.then he kept begging for me to give him a kiss im like NO DAMMIT! ARGH! then he got up and he looked up and down the street, im like wtf!? then he said plz just a kiss and i said no again then he got close to me to try and give me a kiss and i pushed him away but he got right back and tried it again but i wouldnt let him, i did my best to hold him off but i just couldnt, i gave. he kissed me once, then twice and finally i guess he felt satisfied and stoped and i pushed him off. i was soo thrown out of sync. i did not know how to react. what to think. what to say nothing! i was just so shocked. wtf had just hapend? then i looked at him i guess i was expecting an awnser or something from him, we just sat there, i prob shouldve gotten out of the truck and went inside my house but me being the stupid fucking idiot that i am i stayed there. i guess i wanted to try and fix this and make sense of what just hapend. then he looked as if he was on crack i swear he looked all as if he was resisting some kind of craving. i dont know, i asked him why he kissed me even if i said no and he said "he just couldnt control himself" i was pretty dam blah. then he said "just one more please!" and i said NO. and he tried to give me another kiss but i said RAUL NO and i pushed him off, that didnt stop him, i guess he is one of those kinky fucks that likes it rough. and blah he overpowerd me and got on me and made out with me another 3 times. then he got off and i just felt so wrong.. why did he do it? with what purpose? a meaningless kiss!? and i thought christian and raul liked each other! so why was he kissing me and not christian!? i dont know i just felt so sad and weak and stupid. i told him that this was really fucked up and that i had to go and he asked me if he could come back later with christian to hang out, i said i didnt know. and i ran inside becuse i just needed to breath and think for a little bit. i dont know i felt horrible, i called ____ (u know who u r) because well i dunno i find comfort in him, he is careing, understanding and alot more so i figured he would know what to do or atleast make me feel better. it was REALLY hard saying it, especially since it had JUST hapend. i couldnt really find the words to say what hapend. it was pretty hard typing it too, its hard to explain, i dunno, but maybe this will make me feel better. its worth a shot..? unfortunately he had to run so we hung up. blah i felt blah. i sat down and thunk.then i fell asleep because i was really tired.. then a little bit later i hear someone honking again and i went outside to make them shut the fuck up and to see what was going on. (i figured it was raul again and it was), this time he brought christian along. christian got out and offerd me a seat in the middle. that felt horribly creepy. im like okay? but i got in anyways because maybe it was maybe ok. ((i mean i thought xeko was a total freak before i got to know him better)). so we talked for a bit and by the look of cheerfullness on christians face i figured raul hadnt told christian about the er..kisses. and christian seemed pretty sane, i dunno some people say im paranoid but AFTER U GO THRU WHAT IVE BEEN THRU U WOULD THINK DIFERENTLY. fucking stupid whores, presuming retarded dumb shit. u dont know me. anyways.. we talked for a bit and like they were gonna go get some cigs but i didnt wanna go becaue if my mom came home and i wasnt home she wouldve killed me. so i stayed, told them i'd wait here for them. after like 5 minutes of them being gone MY MOM COMES HOME. i knew it!.. i texted christian and told them not to come back that my mom would suspect something..
friday: friday was pretty blah, went to skewl and did my history test i did good. i was still pretty hung up on what had hapend the day before. diana gave ma a ride home. then my fucking retarded mom locked us out of the house so we were like infront of our house for 2 hours figuring out wut to do then we finally got in by a locksmith ((the garade unplugged..duhhhhhh)) then we got in and left for el paso.
saturday: saturday was lots of fun. i went to mall to hang out with shawn, yay :D. haha. we decided to meet at tilt cause i got there early so it gave me something to do, so i was playing this game and i catch this guys eye, he gave me a bad impression, like he was cute but something was just wrong, then he eyed me when i went to go play this one game, then i accidently caught his eye again and a little bit later him and his 2 frieds come over to the machine that was RIGHT next to mine, im like o_O;. he even brushed up againts me when he passed me, creepy.. THANK GOD shawn finally got there so i ran out and im like hi! o_0; haha.we talked and walked around.. i got some hot new sunglasses and i saw this totally orgasmic hot tall muscular blond, i had an orgasm all ova myself hahah :P..and yeh we were just there talking.. it was hilarious.. "I WANT MAH CHIKUN".. then after that i went over to bobbys house and we had hot wild monkey sex. HAHAHAHA just kiddiiiiingggg, i can just imagine the look on bobbys face.. hahaha :P.
sunday: i worked on the yard allllll morning. like shawn would say: "its in my blood!" lol. then since i earned some hard earned munny i went shoping, yayuh, i got some new shoes and i wanted this new polo but my mom wouldnt let me >=/! ah and i gots a hair cut! ill post pics later.. and i saw alex, he lost his doggie :(. hope he finds him..
monday: today i had planed to hang out with shawn, so i got all sexy to go out (naturally.. :P) and then i ask my mom if "i can go to bobbys house" and shes all "YOUR NOT GOING ANYWHERE, WE R LEAVING TODAY!" im like nooooooooooooooooooooooo :(. so yeh total bummer.. so i gots in the car and went to third world hell..
+*+* i didnt really plan to say what hapend with raul and all, its kinda embarasing and blah,but i kinda want peoples opinions on it, so speak away, for those of u who bother to read this anyways..+*+*
i like somebody..teehee.. ;)
wednesday: wednesday was great, it was carmens b-day, after we got done with the test carmen, marcela, marco, edgar and i went to the mall. then they droped me off and left for somewhere, i had to go..tons of fun.. blah blah, later on the afternoon christian says he kept calling last night because he was outside my house and he wanted to know if i could hang out. i never told him where i lived, where was he getting this?? it freaked me out, then he said if i could hang out but i told him i couldnt because i had a huge test tomorow. then we got cut off, and then raul calls me. i thought it was christian and im like "it cut off huh?" and he said he didnt know what i was talking about then i asked who it was and it was raul. he is this friend i had from like 1 year ago, i hadnt seen him in for ever but we were really great friends. i think he even liked me, i dunno i sensed some gayness in him.. so yeh we talked and he kept asking me if he could come over because "he really needed to tell me something", i said no because i didnt want to and because i was too dam tired, after finally 20 minutes of him bothering me to come over i said that we would just talk tomorow. he finally gave up and we agreed on doing something tomorow.
thursday: my life feels like a fucking fucked up soap opera. went to skewl blah blah. the only good thing about today is that xeko, and i went shoping. i got some new suglasses :). then i came home and raul came over but we only talked for 10 minues because i had to go. later on he calls me and he says he REALLY needs to talk to me, so i got intrigued and i told him to meet me at this church thats like half a block from my house, i told my mom i was going to the seamstress (wich i really was..) and then when i was brushing my teeth i get a call from christian. he said he was outside my house and that if i could come out, i told him i was actually going out right now and that my friend was already waiting for me. then when i went outside christian was in this green silverado with all the windows totally painted black and some really pimp huge ass shiny rims. hmm, i smell dirty money..if u catch my drift. so he opend the door and offerd me a seat next to him but i told him a friend was waiting for me, and i pointed to this black altima that was parked on the street corner, then i told him to follow me a little bit away from my house so i wouldnt be in a view where my mom could see me if she peeked out the window. so then we talked for like 1 minute just random small talk and i told him i had to run. blah, luis vela was with him, that dude that i met me thru christian on msn and who asked me out to a club to "hang out". so i ran towards the car raul was in (its not his..) and i got in. he asked me who that was and i just said "a friend..". then we drove to the seamstress and we parked infront of it to talk really quick. then he said "i know." and i thought about it for a sec and i said.. "know what? say it." then he paused for a bit its as if he couldnt say it. "i KNOW..", then i figured he meant he knew i was gay, and i said "ooHh, who told u? reyna??" he said no and that he wouldnt tell me, then he said "u want to know something?..me 2" i SOOOOOOOOOOOOO knew it, his body language said it all, he was really nervous the first time he saw me earlier today, biteing his nails, not looking at my eyes or looking away when our eyes met, i so knew it. then he said "i had a huuuuge crush on u before, remember when i kept calling u and inviting u to go 'hang out'? " and i thought about it and its pretty much true, i liked him too but back in that age homosexuality felt like such a taboo i did not dare mention it. then i told him i liked him too and we laughed about it, and the whole time it felt really akward as if something was gonna hapen.. so i got out of the car and went to the seamstress and when i came back i asked him and bitched at him to tell me how he knew, "FINE FINE, christian told me!" i said ":O!! u know christian!? he was the one i talked to right now before i came over with u!" then raul was like :O! really!? let me call him!! so he called chrisitan (aparently they've known each other for some time..) and THE VERY FIRST THING christian said was "DUDE I MET DAVID!!!" hahaha he said it all giddy and excited, then raul told christian "IM THE ONE DAVID RAN OFF WITH U IDIOT!!" but since the car wasnt rauls car christian didnt recognize him, then they talked for a bit and they hung up, im like oohh fuck, i better be careful.. so then we went and parked over by the church t o talk and catch up for a while, then he said " i got another thing to confess, u look really cute.." im like ':O!..umm thx?' haha, then he said "what would u do if i tried to give u a kiss?", hmm that totally caught me off guard, what was i suposed to say? so i told him i didnt know and i subconciously got all quiet.. then it got akward again and he like leaned over closer to mee, i felt soo weird like we hadnt seen each other in years and now the dude is coming on to me! then he leaned closer and closer and was about to give me "a little peck" but im like fuck that!! i told him sorry that i just couldnt. i mean wtf do i give off a slutty image!? bahh... and i turned away and i just felt so embarassed haha, then it got all quiet and he said that he was sorry for doing that its just that "he couldnt resist". then i got a call on ym cel and its my mom she was all like "WHERE R U? WHY R U TAKEING SO LONG!?" so i told her i was about to get home and i told raul i had to go and i left for home. then i get a text from christian saying i looked very cute and that he hopes to get to know me better, blah!
so i take a nap and like i only rested for one hour when my god dam cel rings, it was raul (gee wut a surprise..) and we talked about stuff, including christian, suposedly christian and raul like each other! but im confused cause i thought they both liked me loL! i dunno! suposedly they were seeing each other i dunno im confused too! then he wants to know if i can hang out or something later on, im like yeah w/e let me sleep!! so then the afternoon rolls around and i hear some honking outside and i figure its raul so i go out and he is in this f-150 that looks alot like mine..weird. so i got in and he started like, indirectly hitting on me, like makeing random complements or giving me the bedroom eyes and blah!!! then i was sitting there tryng to change the situation by changing subject or something but i just couldnt, then when i had my hand rested on my lap he grabs it and holds my hand, im like blaaaahh!! o_O;, i didnt wanna be a total bitch and like take away my hand all cold and stuff, so i said im sorry i just cant and i took it away gently.. but he doesnt understand no, after a bit he tried it again and once agian i took my hand away, then he was like "hey come over here, i gotta tell u something" and me being the retard i am (i just woke up i was blah) i leaned over and he tried to kiss me again but i have really good reflexes and i managed to dodge it and push him away, lol bleh..ok this is getting worse, we laughed about it because i didnt wanna feel so weird, then he asked me if he could lay on my lap, im like wtf! no thx! but he didnt listen to me and layed down and used my legs as a pillow, and he grabbed my arm and put it on his chest, im like wtf is going on i said no!! it felt akward, it was all hapening so fast and so bleh i couldnt really act rationally.. and he asked if he could see my tummy. WTF NO. he tried lifting it up once or twice but i wouldnt let him, weird fuck. and he said he liked my scruffy look and then caresed (sp?) my cheek. :S.then he kept begging for me to give him a kiss im like NO DAMMIT! ARGH! then he got up and he looked up and down the street, im like wtf!? then he said plz just a kiss and i said no again then he got close to me to try and give me a kiss and i pushed him away but he got right back and tried it again but i wouldnt let him, i did my best to hold him off but i just couldnt, i gave. he kissed me once, then twice and finally i guess he felt satisfied and stoped and i pushed him off. i was soo thrown out of sync. i did not know how to react. what to think. what to say nothing! i was just so shocked. wtf had just hapend? then i looked at him i guess i was expecting an awnser or something from him, we just sat there, i prob shouldve gotten out of the truck and went inside my house but me being the stupid fucking idiot that i am i stayed there. i guess i wanted to try and fix this and make sense of what just hapend. then he looked as if he was on crack i swear he looked all as if he was resisting some kind of craving. i dont know, i asked him why he kissed me even if i said no and he said "he just couldnt control himself" i was pretty dam blah. then he said "just one more please!" and i said NO. and he tried to give me another kiss but i said RAUL NO and i pushed him off, that didnt stop him, i guess he is one of those kinky fucks that likes it rough. and blah he overpowerd me and got on me and made out with me another 3 times. then he got off and i just felt so wrong.. why did he do it? with what purpose? a meaningless kiss!? and i thought christian and raul liked each other! so why was he kissing me and not christian!? i dont know i just felt so sad and weak and stupid. i told him that this was really fucked up and that i had to go and he asked me if he could come back later with christian to hang out, i said i didnt know. and i ran inside becuse i just needed to breath and think for a little bit. i dont know i felt horrible, i called ____ (u know who u r) because well i dunno i find comfort in him, he is careing, understanding and alot more so i figured he would know what to do or atleast make me feel better. it was REALLY hard saying it, especially since it had JUST hapend. i couldnt really find the words to say what hapend. it was pretty hard typing it too, its hard to explain, i dunno, but maybe this will make me feel better. its worth a shot..? unfortunately he had to run so we hung up. blah i felt blah. i sat down and thunk.then i fell asleep because i was really tired.. then a little bit later i hear someone honking again and i went outside to make them shut the fuck up and to see what was going on. (i figured it was raul again and it was), this time he brought christian along. christian got out and offerd me a seat in the middle. that felt horribly creepy. im like okay? but i got in anyways because maybe it was maybe ok. ((i mean i thought xeko was a total freak before i got to know him better)). so we talked for a bit and by the look of cheerfullness on christians face i figured raul hadnt told christian about the er..kisses. and christian seemed pretty sane, i dunno some people say im paranoid but AFTER U GO THRU WHAT IVE BEEN THRU U WOULD THINK DIFERENTLY. fucking stupid whores, presuming retarded dumb shit. u dont know me. anyways.. we talked for a bit and like they were gonna go get some cigs but i didnt wanna go becaue if my mom came home and i wasnt home she wouldve killed me. so i stayed, told them i'd wait here for them. after like 5 minutes of them being gone MY MOM COMES HOME. i knew it!.. i texted christian and told them not to come back that my mom would suspect something..
friday: friday was pretty blah, went to skewl and did my history test i did good. i was still pretty hung up on what had hapend the day before. diana gave ma a ride home. then my fucking retarded mom locked us out of the house so we were like infront of our house for 2 hours figuring out wut to do then we finally got in by a locksmith ((the garade unplugged..duhhhhhh)) then we got in and left for el paso.
saturday: saturday was lots of fun. i went to mall to hang out with shawn, yay :D. haha. we decided to meet at tilt cause i got there early so it gave me something to do, so i was playing this game and i catch this guys eye, he gave me a bad impression, like he was cute but something was just wrong, then he eyed me when i went to go play this one game, then i accidently caught his eye again and a little bit later him and his 2 frieds come over to the machine that was RIGHT next to mine, im like o_O;. he even brushed up againts me when he passed me, creepy.. THANK GOD shawn finally got there so i ran out and im like hi! o_0; haha.we talked and walked around.. i got some hot new sunglasses and i saw this totally orgasmic hot tall muscular blond, i had an orgasm all ova myself hahah :P..and yeh we were just there talking.. it was hilarious.. "I WANT MAH CHIKUN".. then after that i went over to bobbys house and we had hot wild monkey sex. HAHAHAHA just kiddiiiiingggg, i can just imagine the look on bobbys face.. hahaha :P.
sunday: i worked on the yard allllll morning. like shawn would say: "its in my blood!" lol. then since i earned some hard earned munny i went shoping, yayuh, i got some new shoes and i wanted this new polo but my mom wouldnt let me >=/! ah and i gots a hair cut! ill post pics later.. and i saw alex, he lost his doggie :(. hope he finds him..
monday: today i had planed to hang out with shawn, so i got all sexy to go out (naturally.. :P) and then i ask my mom if "i can go to bobbys house" and shes all "YOUR NOT GOING ANYWHERE, WE R LEAVING TODAY!" im like nooooooooooooooooooooooo :(. so yeh total bummer.. so i gots in the car and went to third world hell..
+*+* i didnt really plan to say what hapend with raul and all, its kinda embarasing and blah,but i kinda want peoples opinions on it, so speak away, for those of u who bother to read this anyways..+*+*
i like somebody..teehee.. ;)