a diff kind of love.
thursday: thursday was loads of fun, i played this hilarious joke on itzel, i so got revenge, it was so humiliating for her, i did it in the courtyard place infront of like half the school, i feel satisfied (sp?).. i wont tell what it is because i wanna do it to more people..teehee..
friday (today): ((best night ina while..)) i didnt go to el paso (thank god) i think this weekend would've been pretty dull i dunno why i just got the feeling. so after skewl i was walking home ((no car for a bit..)) and i run into reyna and raul and sum friends of theirs(havent seen him in like a year! :O) we went to go eat and then they gave me a ride home. loads of fun.. then i had plans with xeko to go hang out or something, so we did..but with his bf and his other friend..mhmm.. we drove around for a while then we went to xeko's bf's house where i watched them swim ((i didnt wanna swim)) and yeh then i got a ride home. so i got on the comp and i was really sad.. i don tknow i just felt really sad. its because everyone seems to find a special someone exept for me. i do my good deeds left and right helping friends out with their problems, relationship problems..etc! and like.. isnt there a divine law wich would repay me in a special way for happily helping out someone if they need anything and being suportive. i mean i dont expect anything i just think a little something would be nice. ((not from my friends, from like god or something..)) so yeh i chatted with xeko for a bit and he said that he noticed something wrong about me, then he called me to talk. i poured my heart out to him and then he "had to run". so after a while someone knocks at my door and its xeko! i was like :O!, he wanted to take me out to cheer me up. awww :). finally someone that cares haha :). we drove around and then we got sum ice cream from dairy queen, then we decided on going back to his house to watch movies! we were in the loft watching shrek 2 and it got kinda late and his mom suggested we go watch it in his room. i went to his room while he took out the dvd n stuff and when i got there i got this extreme sense of sorrow and heartbreak. i rememberd the first time i set foot in his room haha, i thought i was gonna get raped! hahaha..but thats besides the point, i missed the fun times we had just laying there on his bed watching tv or listening to music or just talking! then he caught up to me and i put a smile on my face because i didnt wanna tint the mood.. so we finished watching shrek 2, that really cheered me up :) and then we put on lotr the return of blah blah... the room was kinda dark, the only light on was the tv and this little fragrance light plug in thingy, so we kinda layed on the bed with lots of pillows, hah so comfy :), and he got really close to me and i kinda shifted to the side so i wouldnt be so close. he noticed it and was like "o no u dont!" then he grabed me and tried to move me closer, but i wouldnt let him, after a little bit of wrestleing i gave up and i was there laying in his arms like old times.. wow. i felt a huge sense of love, but a different type of love, a love that isnt as strong as true love, but still as significant. it felt akward at first but then i warmed up to the idea because it was really comfortable, hahaha during lord of the rings, that part in the movie where frodo is fighting that big spider, i was clinging on to xeko as if i was holding on for dear life! hahaha, i was soooo tense, the part where he finally got out of the cave, and the spider was right above him i was like OHH MY GAWDDDDDDDDDD aoijfruah[dpaohgu!!!! then when the stinger was right above frodo i was like O_O!!!!!!! then when it finally hit him i was like AHH!! hahaha, i totally spazed out it was kinda embarasing. xeko laughed at meee >=/ lol.. being there on xeko's bed with him felt so good..so relaxing and calming, i felt safe and secure, and loved.. after a bit i kinda lost interest in the movie and i was falling asleep, i was doing my best not to fall asleep..but i did! then after a while i came to and i noticed the movies was off, he was asleep too.. all i felt was.. aww :)..this sense of love. but like, its a weird sense of love! its like, i cant be with u but i still care for u and love u and will protect u, i dont know, i thought alot for the 5 minutes i was awake, then i fell asleep again, nothing matterd but enjoying this little piece of heaven.. after another long while (i dont really know how long but it felt long) i woke up, and i noticed he was awake too, just laying there caresing my back, ((lol sounds like a cheap love novel..)) i didnt know what to say, so i was like "..hi." haha well what was i suposed to say?? good morning?? lol! then we talked a little bit and he assured me that i will never be alone, that felt good to hear :), then he said that it was time for him to get me home! lol he sounded like when we were going out.. but we arent. so after a little bit more time of enjoying the moment i finally got the energy to get up and he took me home, on the ride home we put on the music loud and started singing some tatu just to get our drowzyness out and our hyperactiveness up! :) haha, yeh then i got home and im here now! gots to shower..
i feel so good.. yet confused..
friday (today): ((best night ina while..)) i didnt go to el paso (thank god) i think this weekend would've been pretty dull i dunno why i just got the feeling. so after skewl i was walking home ((no car for a bit..)) and i run into reyna and raul and sum friends of theirs(havent seen him in like a year! :O) we went to go eat and then they gave me a ride home. loads of fun.. then i had plans with xeko to go hang out or something, so we did..but with his bf and his other friend..mhmm.. we drove around for a while then we went to xeko's bf's house where i watched them swim ((i didnt wanna swim)) and yeh then i got a ride home. so i got on the comp and i was really sad.. i don tknow i just felt really sad. its because everyone seems to find a special someone exept for me. i do my good deeds left and right helping friends out with their problems, relationship problems..etc! and like.. isnt there a divine law wich would repay me in a special way for happily helping out someone if they need anything and being suportive. i mean i dont expect anything i just think a little something would be nice. ((not from my friends, from like god or something..)) so yeh i chatted with xeko for a bit and he said that he noticed something wrong about me, then he called me to talk. i poured my heart out to him and then he "had to run". so after a while someone knocks at my door and its xeko! i was like :O!, he wanted to take me out to cheer me up. awww :). finally someone that cares haha :). we drove around and then we got sum ice cream from dairy queen, then we decided on going back to his house to watch movies! we were in the loft watching shrek 2 and it got kinda late and his mom suggested we go watch it in his room. i went to his room while he took out the dvd n stuff and when i got there i got this extreme sense of sorrow and heartbreak. i rememberd the first time i set foot in his room haha, i thought i was gonna get raped! hahaha..but thats besides the point, i missed the fun times we had just laying there on his bed watching tv or listening to music or just talking! then he caught up to me and i put a smile on my face because i didnt wanna tint the mood.. so we finished watching shrek 2, that really cheered me up :) and then we put on lotr the return of blah blah... the room was kinda dark, the only light on was the tv and this little fragrance light plug in thingy, so we kinda layed on the bed with lots of pillows, hah so comfy :), and he got really close to me and i kinda shifted to the side so i wouldnt be so close. he noticed it and was like "o no u dont!" then he grabed me and tried to move me closer, but i wouldnt let him, after a little bit of wrestleing i gave up and i was there laying in his arms like old times.. wow. i felt a huge sense of love, but a different type of love, a love that isnt as strong as true love, but still as significant. it felt akward at first but then i warmed up to the idea because it was really comfortable, hahaha during lord of the rings, that part in the movie where frodo is fighting that big spider, i was clinging on to xeko as if i was holding on for dear life! hahaha, i was soooo tense, the part where he finally got out of the cave, and the spider was right above him i was like OHH MY GAWDDDDDDDDDD aoijfruah[dpaohgu!!!! then when the stinger was right above frodo i was like O_O!!!!!!! then when it finally hit him i was like AHH!! hahaha, i totally spazed out it was kinda embarasing. xeko laughed at meee >=/ lol.. being there on xeko's bed with him felt so good..so relaxing and calming, i felt safe and secure, and loved.. after a bit i kinda lost interest in the movie and i was falling asleep, i was doing my best not to fall asleep..but i did! then after a while i came to and i noticed the movies was off, he was asleep too.. all i felt was.. aww :)..this sense of love. but like, its a weird sense of love! its like, i cant be with u but i still care for u and love u and will protect u, i dont know, i thought alot for the 5 minutes i was awake, then i fell asleep again, nothing matterd but enjoying this little piece of heaven.. after another long while (i dont really know how long but it felt long) i woke up, and i noticed he was awake too, just laying there caresing my back, ((lol sounds like a cheap love novel..)) i didnt know what to say, so i was like "..hi." haha well what was i suposed to say?? good morning?? lol! then we talked a little bit and he assured me that i will never be alone, that felt good to hear :), then he said that it was time for him to get me home! lol he sounded like when we were going out.. but we arent. so after a little bit more time of enjoying the moment i finally got the energy to get up and he took me home, on the ride home we put on the music loud and started singing some tatu just to get our drowzyness out and our hyperactiveness up! :) haha, yeh then i got home and im here now! gots to shower..
i feel so good.. yet confused..