batman begins: it must have been opposite day for whoever wrote those glowing reviews
After watching Batman Begins, I can only conclude that "two thumbs way up" just doesn't mean what it used to. This movie? Flash and all dash, little substance, and lines that feel so scripted I think I can hear the pages flapping. Not to mention, that the dramatic climax of the movie makes no sense. Maybe the gas didn't end up released on the scale the baddies desired, but enough would have got out to affect people, especially those near the train line when the atomizer gizmo passed, and even without hallucinogenic drugs, good old-fashioned fear will do the trick; I'd be surprised if Gotham didn't have a week of riots, after. Also, Batman's little bit - "I won't kill you. But I can not save you", or something close to that - is just nonsense. If he doesn't save him, then he sentences him to death by train derailment - kills him just as if he had slit his throat. Duh.
Also, the bit about Batman not killing anybody, at least in the movie, is a load of bullshit. The cops whose cars he crashes on his little joyrides? The people who had train supports land on their homes and businesses? The people in the buildings where he crashed in the roof with his Batmobile? As Alfred said, "it's a miracle no one is dead." Because, people, the thing is: people always get hurt, get killed, sometimes by the stupidest of things, like falling glass or a well-placed brick. And for that matter, who exactly is paying for all the things he wrecks? The city, that's who. And you know where the funds for city maintenance will come from? Schools. Pensions. Clinics. Homeless shelters. Holes in the bloody guard ramps of the highway will always, unfortunately, be of a higher priority than books and free sandwiches. That's not even touching on all the wrecked cars and buildings and hot-dog stands of people who don't have insurance, or do but not enough, and who are out half their savings because some vigilante decided that his dying girlfriend was more important than anyone who got in his way.
There were a few good points, however: the Alfred-and-Fox tag-team snark. Gordon driving the Batmobile ("Sorry!"). The Narrows, which reminded me of Singapore slums, and were very atmospheric and interesting. Dr. Crane. The bit I probably liked the best, though, was when Batman first tried out his new costume, and ended up slamming into the side of a building.
In fact, I think that's what I'd like to watch, when it comes to superheroes. I want to read about Batman stepping on a tack and putting himself out of commission for a week; want to watch him learning the streets of Gotham - not the criminal element but, you know, what exit to take, how to not get lost. Because, really, there's something so ridiculous about superheroes. They're symbols and ideas and bulletproof but they're also people in capes and funny costumes, often with their underwear on outside their pants. More than anything else, though, they're human, and so by definition prone to occasional acts of stupidity. Only the trouble is, their version of stupid seems to get people killed.
On second thought, I think I'll stick to watching Wonderfalls for a while.
Also, the bit about Batman not killing anybody, at least in the movie, is a load of bullshit. The cops whose cars he crashes on his little joyrides? The people who had train supports land on their homes and businesses? The people in the buildings where he crashed in the roof with his Batmobile? As Alfred said, "it's a miracle no one is dead." Because, people, the thing is: people always get hurt, get killed, sometimes by the stupidest of things, like falling glass or a well-placed brick. And for that matter, who exactly is paying for all the things he wrecks? The city, that's who. And you know where the funds for city maintenance will come from? Schools. Pensions. Clinics. Homeless shelters. Holes in the bloody guard ramps of the highway will always, unfortunately, be of a higher priority than books and free sandwiches. That's not even touching on all the wrecked cars and buildings and hot-dog stands of people who don't have insurance, or do but not enough, and who are out half their savings because some vigilante decided that his dying girlfriend was more important than anyone who got in his way.
There were a few good points, however: the Alfred-and-Fox tag-team snark. Gordon driving the Batmobile ("Sorry!"). The Narrows, which reminded me of Singapore slums, and were very atmospheric and interesting. Dr. Crane. The bit I probably liked the best, though, was when Batman first tried out his new costume, and ended up slamming into the side of a building.
In fact, I think that's what I'd like to watch, when it comes to superheroes. I want to read about Batman stepping on a tack and putting himself out of commission for a week; want to watch him learning the streets of Gotham - not the criminal element but, you know, what exit to take, how to not get lost. Because, really, there's something so ridiculous about superheroes. They're symbols and ideas and bulletproof but they're also people in capes and funny costumes, often with their underwear on outside their pants. More than anything else, though, they're human, and so by definition prone to occasional acts of stupidity. Only the trouble is, their version of stupid seems to get people killed.
On second thought, I think I'll stick to watching Wonderfalls for a while.