im just a dripping caged experiment w/as much will 2live as an animal trapped w/a hunter inches away
here i am
turn around
look down
drain the puddle
there i am
stand me up
dry me off
and attempt to put the stitches back in place before i lose anymore blood than i already have waiting for someone to walk on my side of the road
y am i not yet locked up? tell me that one. i should be. i should be shackled and bound to lead falling at the bottom of the sea. instead of wasting water in a bathtub just to watch it grow red with my own confusion.
this is my story of an animal. i am the leper. let me breathe through my twisted cracked pores. here i am
wring my clothes out and put me up to dry. am i such a pitiful specimen as this? let the light guide me back to the midnight ive missed as my eyes were too swollen to blink past the tears....this is so hard and im only in the air...just wait until i hit the ground....
one more...one more she said...i cant say no and i cant say yes so rather then run i wake up
the ripples are from the moon....i hate him for disturbing my thoughts...he did it on purpose and kept the turning of my mind on the falling of water....
well the pages are still as affective as ever. they have not lost their touch with my mental state. one more placebo will only make me smile against my will again but why not let them all believe in me? y not let them tell me to keep going. all it can do is shove another pill down my throat so why say no?! well here i am
its as if i just noticed that my hands have been on fire. and knowing they could no longer be saved anyway and they are too disfigured to move there is no point in saving them i watch them waste away. i watch and smile as they fall away. it used to hurt but now its just habit. much like breathing. id only put out the fires if someone came to me. only if they reached out and grabbed my hand. looking deep into my eyes. and i would put the blaze out with my own tears as i am so happy that she would care enough to stop me. thankyou. oh my dear firefighter. here i am
somehow i saw myself in the hole back when i began digging. but you cant dig upwards so why not continue digging downwards and deeper until i hit rock. and then i will lie down and not make a sound so as not to be noticed. then i could simply blame the world for not pulling me out.....i give myself reasons to hate myself. because i love setting myself up for disapointment so i can tell myself its my fault. ha. ha. what a fool. catch me when you can i pray. catch me when i say when. ha. ha. there is always another wall to run into untill your nose bleeds your path straight.
if this hurts you to read its because its killing me
this will hurt you
exceptions are formed when i bite through my lip. melt me away with salt my love. as i will always ask for another smile. i will always ask to be pulled from the dripping puddle. it will never be asked of you though. but rather of him. of myself. of Spartan. because loneliness is the stake in my heart that i need you to rip out.
before i hit the ground and pull the trigger of the barrel aimed above the noose on my neck will you hand me the glass of water on the table for these pills melting in my mouth.
cut off all loose ties and fingernails until i have nothing left but a heart on my sleeve. well wring out the sleeve and wash it with your love to pull away the bloodstains as to wipe the smiles of my knives off and tell me im sorry youre the one i love.
apology accepted my love.
may we drift away in each others arms.
am i blind? or just lacking sockets.....
whatever the outcome....here i am......
turn around
look down
drain the puddle
there i am
stand me up
dry me off
and attempt to put the stitches back in place before i lose anymore blood than i already have waiting for someone to walk on my side of the road
y am i not yet locked up? tell me that one. i should be. i should be shackled and bound to lead falling at the bottom of the sea. instead of wasting water in a bathtub just to watch it grow red with my own confusion.
this is my story of an animal. i am the leper. let me breathe through my twisted cracked pores. here i am
wring my clothes out and put me up to dry. am i such a pitiful specimen as this? let the light guide me back to the midnight ive missed as my eyes were too swollen to blink past the tears....this is so hard and im only in the air...just wait until i hit the ground....
one more...one more she said...i cant say no and i cant say yes so rather then run i wake up
the ripples are from the moon....i hate him for disturbing my thoughts...he did it on purpose and kept the turning of my mind on the falling of water....
well the pages are still as affective as ever. they have not lost their touch with my mental state. one more placebo will only make me smile against my will again but why not let them all believe in me? y not let them tell me to keep going. all it can do is shove another pill down my throat so why say no?! well here i am
its as if i just noticed that my hands have been on fire. and knowing they could no longer be saved anyway and they are too disfigured to move there is no point in saving them i watch them waste away. i watch and smile as they fall away. it used to hurt but now its just habit. much like breathing. id only put out the fires if someone came to me. only if they reached out and grabbed my hand. looking deep into my eyes. and i would put the blaze out with my own tears as i am so happy that she would care enough to stop me. thankyou. oh my dear firefighter. here i am
somehow i saw myself in the hole back when i began digging. but you cant dig upwards so why not continue digging downwards and deeper until i hit rock. and then i will lie down and not make a sound so as not to be noticed. then i could simply blame the world for not pulling me out.....i give myself reasons to hate myself. because i love setting myself up for disapointment so i can tell myself its my fault. ha. ha. what a fool. catch me when you can i pray. catch me when i say when. ha. ha. there is always another wall to run into untill your nose bleeds your path straight.
if this hurts you to read its because its killing me
this will hurt you
exceptions are formed when i bite through my lip. melt me away with salt my love. as i will always ask for another smile. i will always ask to be pulled from the dripping puddle. it will never be asked of you though. but rather of him. of myself. of Spartan. because loneliness is the stake in my heart that i need you to rip out.
before i hit the ground and pull the trigger of the barrel aimed above the noose on my neck will you hand me the glass of water on the table for these pills melting in my mouth.
cut off all loose ties and fingernails until i have nothing left but a heart on my sleeve. well wring out the sleeve and wash it with your love to pull away the bloodstains as to wipe the smiles of my knives off and tell me im sorry youre the one i love.
apology accepted my love.
may we drift away in each others arms.
am i blind? or just lacking sockets.....
whatever the outcome....here i am......