Gam Zeh Ya'avor
My mentor of 2 years doesn't want to have anything to do w. me anymore. We've been having a falling-out over the last few months, and now it's finally official that we aren't in each others lives anymore. Yes, I'm talking about Dr. Hall.
Friday, all I wanted was to starve myself to death. Then at Kol Nidre services Friday evening, the rabbi's sermon was about "Gam zeh ya'avor; This, too, shall pass." And that COMPLETELY changed my outlook on the situation. I remembered how I believe, fundamentally so, that "Everything happens for a reason" and that "When one door closes, another one opens", and the lesson "Gam zeh ya'avor; This, too, shall pass" just changed my outlook on life completely.
And then at Yom Kippur services yesterday, I actually listened and paid attention to the words which I was reading and speaking, and to the prayers I was reciting. It was the Day of Atonement, the Holiest Day of the entire year. I feel an enormous sense of completion and fullness in my life now which I didn't feel on Friday. I felt like a huge chunk of my soul was excised from my being when I got the news that he wants no contact w. me, but after yesterday's services, I feel like I am whole and complete again--without him. I never thought I could ever feel that way in my entire life, and yet it happened in a matter of hours.
After having strayed somewhat away from Judaism and doing an extensive amount of soul-searching in the past two years, I am finally returning to the Synagogue and my heritage as a Jew. My chosen heritage, bc. I was not born Jewish.
I am finally whole again. Or rather, I should say that I am for the first time whole. I never thought I'd say this, but by god, religion has saved my life. I am a Jew, and I owe my life to god, my ancestors, my friends, my communities, my Unitarian Universalist congregation, my Synagogue, my spiritual and religious leaders, my family, myself. To everyone. But especially that divine spark within me which was willing yesterday to listen, to repent, to atone, and to forgive.
Friday, all I wanted was to starve myself to death. Then at Kol Nidre services Friday evening, the rabbi's sermon was about "Gam zeh ya'avor; This, too, shall pass." And that COMPLETELY changed my outlook on the situation. I remembered how I believe, fundamentally so, that "Everything happens for a reason" and that "When one door closes, another one opens", and the lesson "Gam zeh ya'avor; This, too, shall pass" just changed my outlook on life completely.
And then at Yom Kippur services yesterday, I actually listened and paid attention to the words which I was reading and speaking, and to the prayers I was reciting. It was the Day of Atonement, the Holiest Day of the entire year. I feel an enormous sense of completion and fullness in my life now which I didn't feel on Friday. I felt like a huge chunk of my soul was excised from my being when I got the news that he wants no contact w. me, but after yesterday's services, I feel like I am whole and complete again--without him. I never thought I could ever feel that way in my entire life, and yet it happened in a matter of hours.
After having strayed somewhat away from Judaism and doing an extensive amount of soul-searching in the past two years, I am finally returning to the Synagogue and my heritage as a Jew. My chosen heritage, bc. I was not born Jewish.
I am finally whole again. Or rather, I should say that I am for the first time whole. I never thought I'd say this, but by god, religion has saved my life. I am a Jew, and I owe my life to god, my ancestors, my friends, my communities, my Unitarian Universalist congregation, my Synagogue, my spiritual and religious leaders, my family, myself. To everyone. But especially that divine spark within me which was willing yesterday to listen, to repent, to atone, and to forgive.