Things to Say
I just want to make a few different statements.
1. There's no place like home, there's no place like home, there's no place like home.
I miss home. Even when things aren't going so well at home, I'd rather be there.
2. I'm in a zone. I like being in a zone. I need to be in the zone more often.
This happens when I attach my iPod to a piece of clothing I am wearing, put on my headphones, and walk around the house this way.
I listen to my iPod when out and about, but the zone really happens when at home. Because then my music is following me around.
3. Sisters not getting along makes me sad.
4. Can't wait to get out of this rut I'm in.
5. I miss Matt. Like, I cry when he leaves. Even if he won't leave for a couple days, I'm already sad cause he's leaving in two days. That sucks. Who knew I'd get so attached. But I love him. So its worth it. And he loves me back. So its even more worth it.
This rut I'm in- too much to explain, too personal anyway. But while in my zone a couple of lines from 2 different songs have me thinking.
"Sometimes you need to start again in order to fly."- Intro to Doesn't Mean Anything, Alicia Keys
"Sometimes Good-Bye is the only way"- Shadow of the Day, Linkin Park
I can't stand Tucson anymore. I'm struggling here. The struggle is in many different forms. But my heart aches to be home. With my sisters. With my parents. My whole family. And Matt. Truth is I have felt this way for a few semesters now, even before Matt, and each day that goes by the weight of my sorrows just gets heavier.
I'm considering transferring to ASU to finish my undergrad. Now at the moment I have no idea how much more time in school this would tack on. But I feel like its a matter of survival. I know for sure my heart desires to be back since many moons ago. But is that enough for me to leave UA when I hopefully have a year left here, and tack on maybe another year of school at ASU? I dunno. There is much to consider.
Quickly-
Pros:
A. I'd be home!
B. Which means I would succeed more in school.
Cons:
A. Probably tack on more time in undergrad. Which as we all know time equals money.
B. I'd leave my lovely wonderful roommate whom I love so much.
C. I wouldn't be finishing what I started, WHERE I started. (But is that really such a big deal?)
Alicia Keys has this short song called "Piano & I." In there she says
"You can't go wrong when you try, No matter how long that shit take....cause right now what I have to do, is I gotta amp myself up as well as you, so what it took me like maybe 2 years and shit but I'm feeling prepared, and I'm feeling a lil more ready for the world and less lost, as I once was."
There is a lot of wisdom there. I mean I already won't be graduating in May 2010 like some of my classmates. Another year is enough for me. But to tack on another on top of that??? I don't like that. And yet, its much better to be prepared then drag myself through this next year feeling lost and unprepared. I have a lot of praying to do.
1. There's no place like home, there's no place like home, there's no place like home.
I miss home. Even when things aren't going so well at home, I'd rather be there.
2. I'm in a zone. I like being in a zone. I need to be in the zone more often.
This happens when I attach my iPod to a piece of clothing I am wearing, put on my headphones, and walk around the house this way.
I listen to my iPod when out and about, but the zone really happens when at home. Because then my music is following me around.
3. Sisters not getting along makes me sad.
4. Can't wait to get out of this rut I'm in.
5. I miss Matt. Like, I cry when he leaves. Even if he won't leave for a couple days, I'm already sad cause he's leaving in two days. That sucks. Who knew I'd get so attached. But I love him. So its worth it. And he loves me back. So its even more worth it.
This rut I'm in- too much to explain, too personal anyway. But while in my zone a couple of lines from 2 different songs have me thinking.
"Sometimes you need to start again in order to fly."- Intro to Doesn't Mean Anything, Alicia Keys
"Sometimes Good-Bye is the only way"- Shadow of the Day, Linkin Park
I can't stand Tucson anymore. I'm struggling here. The struggle is in many different forms. But my heart aches to be home. With my sisters. With my parents. My whole family. And Matt. Truth is I have felt this way for a few semesters now, even before Matt, and each day that goes by the weight of my sorrows just gets heavier.
I'm considering transferring to ASU to finish my undergrad. Now at the moment I have no idea how much more time in school this would tack on. But I feel like its a matter of survival. I know for sure my heart desires to be back since many moons ago. But is that enough for me to leave UA when I hopefully have a year left here, and tack on maybe another year of school at ASU? I dunno. There is much to consider.
Quickly-
Pros:
A. I'd be home!
B. Which means I would succeed more in school.
Cons:
A. Probably tack on more time in undergrad. Which as we all know time equals money.
B. I'd leave my lovely wonderful roommate whom I love so much.
C. I wouldn't be finishing what I started, WHERE I started. (But is that really such a big deal?)
Alicia Keys has this short song called "Piano & I." In there she says
"You can't go wrong when you try, No matter how long that shit take....cause right now what I have to do, is I gotta amp myself up as well as you, so what it took me like maybe 2 years and shit but I'm feeling prepared, and I'm feeling a lil more ready for the world and less lost, as I once was."
There is a lot of wisdom there. I mean I already won't be graduating in May 2010 like some of my classmates. Another year is enough for me. But to tack on another on top of that??? I don't like that. And yet, its much better to be prepared then drag myself through this next year feeling lost and unprepared. I have a lot of praying to do.