Overland Park, KS, Late Sunday Morning
Kate had been grounded for two days now, and she didn't even know why she was going along with it. Could've just grabbed a portal to Fandom and faced the consequences once she had to come back. But maybe she was giving in to it just because she'd turn seventeen next Friday and after that she'd declare herself ungroundable for good.
Not that she was in any way okay with being grounded in the first place. Her parents were having a total emotional meltdown, so what did they do? They put her on lockdown so they could 'be in control'. It was supreme bullshit.
But at least it was the kind of supreme bullshit that gave her plenty of time to hang out with her little brother, when he wasn't too busy spending time with his new gay BFF. Or banging that random chick. Because that had apparently happened yesterday. Hadn't been too smooth, either, by the sound of it, and Kate wasn't surprised.
Just like she wasn't surprised he was being a little boring right now.
"I read that smoking weed too early in the day can give you meningitis."
They were in her room. He sat on the edge of her bed in his monogrammed pajamas, while beside him, she was sprawled stomach down, in tiny shorts and Bod's shirt, laptop in front of her, pipe and lighter firmly in hand.
"This is meta for Kryptonite," she said idly, preparing to take a hit. "It's from California. Makes your eyelashes thirsty."
But, there were other, more important things to think about. Even Marshall knew that. "Is the video done loading yet?" And he meant, of course, The Video that Lynda had finished editing the previous night and which she'd put online just now.
Kate breathed out smoke and reached for her computer. "Yes! Ooh." She pressed play, and was greeted by herself. Times three. And then on a horse. "Wow."
"That horse looks completely fake."
Marshall needed to stop being such a downer. "On purpose," Kate told him, unable to stop herself from sounding a little bit defensive. "It's a comment!"
"On what?"
"On..." Shit, what was it Lynda had called it? "The testosterone fueled fantasy genre! Totally subverting... The hero archetype." She had to busy herself with the pipe again just to make up for the gaps while she tried to remember the terminology. "Valhalla's... post-feminist."
Marshall seemed a little bit amused by this. "Do you even know what that means?"
Kate nodded and gave him a thumbs up, then let the smoke out. "No not really." But did that really matter? She was the star of her own music video, and she looked really awesome in it. That was enough; Lynda could take care of all that... ideological crap, or whatever.
She rolled onto her side and gave her brother an inquisitive look. She wanted to get him off her back on this thing, and she wanted to get something straightish. "Tell me true Moosh: are you or are you not a homo?"
"That... term is a little onerist, but... yes," he said, nodding. "It's official."
Finally. "Then why are you wasting your time with Jungle Snatch?" she asked. "Chuck her, dude!"
Marshall just looked awkward.
.....
Awkward or not, that remained the topic for a while. Well, that and watching the video over and over. And they would've probably kept doing it indefinitely, only Kate happened to wonder over to the window and caught sight of --
"Cops. Cops!"
Which induced a panic that involved a lot of swearing and scrambling and wondering who'd called the fucking cops on them, and her digging out her stash and throwing the bag at him, and him dropping it before successfully flushing it all down the toilet.
And after all that was done and they realized that even though the police were parked outside their house, they didn't seem to be coming for her and him, so they ran downstairs and outside to investigate.
Just in time to see their dad getting handcuffed while a policeman read him his rights.
"Dad?" asked Marshall.
"What the fuck?" came Kate's contribution.
Max shook his head at them. "It's okay kids, go back inside." Yeah, because seeing one of their parents getting handcuffed was obviously totally okay.
Their mom didn't really seem to think so, either, when she showed up, coming from the house next door. The next few moments were a little fuzzy for Kate, still high and just trying to make sense of what was happening. Apparently, there was a warrant for her dad's arrest for aggravated assault and battery, so he was being taken away. But Kate had no idea what he'd actually done.
So, she echoed Charmaine's sentiment pretty well once she pulled up in their driveway just in time to see the whole show conclude, with the police car pulling away and Tara moving to get to her car. "What the hell's going on?" Charmaine asked.
Tara just told her she'd explain later, and asked her to stay with Kate and her brother for a couple of hours. Because the sixteen- and fifteen-year-olds couldn't look after themselves, sure.
"And you two, don't worry, we'll be back soon," their mother called out as she got into her car. "And Kate, you're still grounded."
... Yeah, that was the one thing about this situation Kate could really grasp, and she just frowned and sighed, resigned. And then they just watched Tara drive off in the Green Hornet. The grass felt a little cool and dewy to Kate's bare feet.
"Okay," Charmaine said after they couldn't see Tara's car anymore. "Who wants pancakes?"
.....
So. That happened. And it turned out that Marshall actually knew why, and shared it once they were sitting around the kitchen island with their freshly made pancakes and syrup and everything. Smothering problems with food.
Their dad had apparently gone and beat up the contractor who'd screwed him over with something he'd been supposed to do at the Hubbard house. The details were a little fuzzy.
"With his fists," Charmaine asked, flipping over a pancake, "like blam, blam, bloody knuckles?"
Marshall shook his head and shrugged, vaguely. "He didn't say."
"Got him arrested," Kate remarked. "So... Must've been pretty jacked."
And by now, it was really just amusing her. Just another ridiculous thing happening in b her life, to her family. So when she ended up frowning, it was not because her dad had been arrested for assault. No, something else had caught her attention. "Wait," she said. "Why does Mrs Butterworth need to be black?" She'd never even noticed that before. "And Aunt Jemima too." Freaky. "That's some fucked up racist pancake shit."
"Mrs Butterworth isn't black, she's just filled with syrup," Marshall pointed out from beside her. "I mean technically, she's clear."
"Hunh." Well, that was food for thought, and made Kate pause. "She's a clearcasian."
Having said that, she turned towards her brother. And they both cracked up.
Their aunt didn't seem to find it quite as hilarious, though. "Come on you guys, your dad's in fucking jail, probably getting things put up his booty right now." Having said that, she looked a little apologetic. "I'm sorry, Marshall. I- I- I know that mansex is great when it's consensual."
Not that they'd taken it like that. "We're not laughing because it's funny," Kate pointed out, still amused, "we're laughing to keep from blowing our brains out."
She even gave Marshall a smirk, though that was dimmed some by her aunt's dry reply. "Yeah, you seem really broken up about it."
"Thought Mom was totally better," Marshall started, frowning. "I mean she--"
"Okay," Kate interrupted, because she felt she had this whole situation figured out by now. "A, Mom's alter has a lesbyterian gal pal," she began. "B, Dad has psycho renovation rage." And that was kind of really amusing. Kate was smirking again as she gestured to Charmaine. "C, you're practically an unwed teen mother."
"Shut up."
Kate paid no mind to Charmaine's weak protest. "And D," she continued, reaching to smack her brother on the arm, "Marshall's banging bitches! So..."
"Nice, Kate," he muttered, but she barely even heard him. "So..."
Actually, it wasn't all that funny. The smirk faded completely, finally, and she looked down, and just felt like the glee was being sucked right out of her with every slow word she spoke.
"As a family... we're completely... fucked."
And to top that off with her boyfriend dreaming of little girls on fire, and whatever the hell was going with Mitchell... Why the fuck had she been laughing just now? Everything was just total and utter bullshit. She felt the familiar stinging in her eyes now, turning away from her brother and her aunt to try and blink it away.
Marshall's voice broke through the sudden darkness in her mind. "Do you think... Aunt Jemima and Uncle Ben are married?" he asked. Trying to cheer her up. Kind of sweet of him.
Kate stared down at the table for a moment more.
"No," she decided, finally. "Aunt Jemima's married to Uncle Jemima."
[ooc: NFB, NFI, OOC-okay! Taken and tweaked from USoT S02E05 'Doin' Time'. It's not even Sunday here anymore, and much less morning, but it's been a long day.]
Not that she was in any way okay with being grounded in the first place. Her parents were having a total emotional meltdown, so what did they do? They put her on lockdown so they could 'be in control'. It was supreme bullshit.
But at least it was the kind of supreme bullshit that gave her plenty of time to hang out with her little brother, when he wasn't too busy spending time with his new gay BFF. Or banging that random chick. Because that had apparently happened yesterday. Hadn't been too smooth, either, by the sound of it, and Kate wasn't surprised.
Just like she wasn't surprised he was being a little boring right now.
"I read that smoking weed too early in the day can give you meningitis."
They were in her room. He sat on the edge of her bed in his monogrammed pajamas, while beside him, she was sprawled stomach down, in tiny shorts and Bod's shirt, laptop in front of her, pipe and lighter firmly in hand.
"This is meta for Kryptonite," she said idly, preparing to take a hit. "It's from California. Makes your eyelashes thirsty."
But, there were other, more important things to think about. Even Marshall knew that. "Is the video done loading yet?" And he meant, of course, The Video that Lynda had finished editing the previous night and which she'd put online just now.
Kate breathed out smoke and reached for her computer. "Yes! Ooh." She pressed play, and was greeted by herself. Times three. And then on a horse. "Wow."
"That horse looks completely fake."
Marshall needed to stop being such a downer. "On purpose," Kate told him, unable to stop herself from sounding a little bit defensive. "It's a comment!"
"On what?"
"On..." Shit, what was it Lynda had called it? "The testosterone fueled fantasy genre! Totally subverting... The hero archetype." She had to busy herself with the pipe again just to make up for the gaps while she tried to remember the terminology. "Valhalla's... post-feminist."
Marshall seemed a little bit amused by this. "Do you even know what that means?"
Kate nodded and gave him a thumbs up, then let the smoke out. "No not really." But did that really matter? She was the star of her own music video, and she looked really awesome in it. That was enough; Lynda could take care of all that... ideological crap, or whatever.
She rolled onto her side and gave her brother an inquisitive look. She wanted to get him off her back on this thing, and she wanted to get something straightish. "Tell me true Moosh: are you or are you not a homo?"
"That... term is a little onerist, but... yes," he said, nodding. "It's official."
Finally. "Then why are you wasting your time with Jungle Snatch?" she asked. "Chuck her, dude!"
Marshall just looked awkward.
.....
Awkward or not, that remained the topic for a while. Well, that and watching the video over and over. And they would've probably kept doing it indefinitely, only Kate happened to wonder over to the window and caught sight of --
"Cops. Cops!"
Which induced a panic that involved a lot of swearing and scrambling and wondering who'd called the fucking cops on them, and her digging out her stash and throwing the bag at him, and him dropping it before successfully flushing it all down the toilet.
And after all that was done and they realized that even though the police were parked outside their house, they didn't seem to be coming for her and him, so they ran downstairs and outside to investigate.
Just in time to see their dad getting handcuffed while a policeman read him his rights.
"Dad?" asked Marshall.
"What the fuck?" came Kate's contribution.
Max shook his head at them. "It's okay kids, go back inside." Yeah, because seeing one of their parents getting handcuffed was obviously totally okay.
Their mom didn't really seem to think so, either, when she showed up, coming from the house next door. The next few moments were a little fuzzy for Kate, still high and just trying to make sense of what was happening. Apparently, there was a warrant for her dad's arrest for aggravated assault and battery, so he was being taken away. But Kate had no idea what he'd actually done.
So, she echoed Charmaine's sentiment pretty well once she pulled up in their driveway just in time to see the whole show conclude, with the police car pulling away and Tara moving to get to her car. "What the hell's going on?" Charmaine asked.
Tara just told her she'd explain later, and asked her to stay with Kate and her brother for a couple of hours. Because the sixteen- and fifteen-year-olds couldn't look after themselves, sure.
"And you two, don't worry, we'll be back soon," their mother called out as she got into her car. "And Kate, you're still grounded."
... Yeah, that was the one thing about this situation Kate could really grasp, and she just frowned and sighed, resigned. And then they just watched Tara drive off in the Green Hornet. The grass felt a little cool and dewy to Kate's bare feet.
"Okay," Charmaine said after they couldn't see Tara's car anymore. "Who wants pancakes?"
.....
So. That happened. And it turned out that Marshall actually knew why, and shared it once they were sitting around the kitchen island with their freshly made pancakes and syrup and everything. Smothering problems with food.
Their dad had apparently gone and beat up the contractor who'd screwed him over with something he'd been supposed to do at the Hubbard house. The details were a little fuzzy.
"With his fists," Charmaine asked, flipping over a pancake, "like blam, blam, bloody knuckles?"
Marshall shook his head and shrugged, vaguely. "He didn't say."
"Got him arrested," Kate remarked. "So... Must've been pretty jacked."
And by now, it was really just amusing her. Just another ridiculous thing happening in b her life, to her family. So when she ended up frowning, it was not because her dad had been arrested for assault. No, something else had caught her attention. "Wait," she said. "Why does Mrs Butterworth need to be black?" She'd never even noticed that before. "And Aunt Jemima too." Freaky. "That's some fucked up racist pancake shit."
"Mrs Butterworth isn't black, she's just filled with syrup," Marshall pointed out from beside her. "I mean technically, she's clear."
"Hunh." Well, that was food for thought, and made Kate pause. "She's a clearcasian."
Having said that, she turned towards her brother. And they both cracked up.
Their aunt didn't seem to find it quite as hilarious, though. "Come on you guys, your dad's in fucking jail, probably getting things put up his booty right now." Having said that, she looked a little apologetic. "I'm sorry, Marshall. I- I- I know that mansex is great when it's consensual."
Not that they'd taken it like that. "We're not laughing because it's funny," Kate pointed out, still amused, "we're laughing to keep from blowing our brains out."
She even gave Marshall a smirk, though that was dimmed some by her aunt's dry reply. "Yeah, you seem really broken up about it."
"Thought Mom was totally better," Marshall started, frowning. "I mean she--"
"Okay," Kate interrupted, because she felt she had this whole situation figured out by now. "A, Mom's alter has a lesbyterian gal pal," she began. "B, Dad has psycho renovation rage." And that was kind of really amusing. Kate was smirking again as she gestured to Charmaine. "C, you're practically an unwed teen mother."
"Shut up."
Kate paid no mind to Charmaine's weak protest. "And D," she continued, reaching to smack her brother on the arm, "Marshall's banging bitches! So..."
"Nice, Kate," he muttered, but she barely even heard him. "So..."
Actually, it wasn't all that funny. The smirk faded completely, finally, and she looked down, and just felt like the glee was being sucked right out of her with every slow word she spoke.
"As a family... we're completely... fucked."
And to top that off with her boyfriend dreaming of little girls on fire, and whatever the hell was going with Mitchell... Why the fuck had she been laughing just now? Everything was just total and utter bullshit. She felt the familiar stinging in her eyes now, turning away from her brother and her aunt to try and blink it away.
Marshall's voice broke through the sudden darkness in her mind. "Do you think... Aunt Jemima and Uncle Ben are married?" he asked. Trying to cheer her up. Kind of sweet of him.
Kate stared down at the table for a moment more.
"No," she decided, finally. "Aunt Jemima's married to Uncle Jemima."
[ooc: NFB, NFI, OOC-okay! Taken and tweaked from USoT S02E05 'Doin' Time'. It's not even Sunday here anymore, and much less morning, but it's been a long day.]