KCMO & Overland Park, Morning into Early Evening, Sunday Fandom Time

[vanillajello]

Kate had slept at the airport.

Correction: Kate had tried to sleep at the airport. It hadn't worked out all that well, so while staying there had allowed her a little more time alone with herself, the lack of proper sleep was still putting a dent to any mental clarity she could've been feeling. She'd come all the way down from her manic high of

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[nimeni]

Bod hadn't been moving much so he was actually grateful that his phone went off so he could have something to do that wasn't thinking about home. When he saw who it was from, he smiled.

"Hullo there, girlfriend," he said warmly, smiling.

[vanillajello]

"Hullo, boyfriend," she replied, hoping he could hear her smile in her voice, as tired as it was. "How are you?"

[nimeni]

"I'm doing quite well now that I'm talking to you," he said and meant it. "And yourself? How are you?"

[vanillajello]

"Tired." Evasive. "Char had her baby."

She was just... easing into the bigger news.

[nimeni]

"Oh, congratulations to your aunt!" Bod said happily. "Everyone's healthy, I assume?"

[vanillajello]

"To the best of my knowledge, yeah." Not that she'd seen anyone in the happy family yet. "I mean, apparently she went into labor after T upset her, but other than that everything's fine."

[nimeni]

"Well, I'm glad to hear that," Bod said, nodding. "Have you not slept? You should sleep. I bet the time lag is really getting to you."

[And I forgot something so I have to run out one more time!]

[vanillajello]

"Yeah, about that..." Well, here it went. "I'm tired, but, uh... I'm not in Japan. I am, in fact, in my old bedroom at my parents house. I just couldn't do it."

[nimeni]

That selfish part of Bod that had been sad gave a little cheer. He quieted it though because that did not need to come out.

"Oh, Kate." He didn't sound disappointed or anything like that. He sounded sympathetic. "Are you all right? Is there anything you need?"

[vanillajello]

"I'm fine," she sighed, rubbing her forehead. "I mean, I slept at the airport last night and I just took like a four-hour nap and I'm tired as hell, but... I'm good."

[nimeni]

"What stopped you from going?" Bod asked curiously. "Second thoughts?"

[vanillajello]

"I just, I don't know."

She trailed off because it was still difficult to put into words, especially with someone who actually merited the truth from her.

"I just kinda realized that it probably wasn't gonna turn out well, you know, 'cause I had to change cities and then this woman said 'oh dear' when she heard I was going to Niigata and I basically realized the company doesn't even bother to do background checks so... So I had a panic attack and pulled the plug on the plan."

[nimeni]

"There's nothing wrong with that," Bod promised quietly. "Sometimes, revelations like that take time to surface. I'm just glad you had that before you were in Japan and not while you were there. I doubt getting home would have been easy. You have plenty of time to find a new plan, a new course."

[vanillajello]

"I just feel like a failure," Kate admitted a little more quietly. "It's like I can't go through with any big plan."

[nimeni]

"Stopping a potentially bad idea before happening makes you a failure?" Bod asked, shaking his head. "I don't think so. It makes me intelligent and it makes you one of the few who can look to the future and see potential pitfalls. That's not a failure, Kate. That's a smart woman. If you'd gone to Japan and it had turned out awful, what would you have felt like then?"

[vanillajello]

Kate huffed out a soft laugh. "I don't get what you people see in me that I don't," she admitted. "Mom was just here. And now you. And, and Luke..."

What would Kate do?, indeed. Have a panic attack at an airport.

"I don't know. I feel unawesome."