sigh.
I had such a tough time in school today. Well, some of you guys know I'm currently training for an international competition for Webdesign called World Skills right? I'll be going to Calgary, Canada for the competition in September.
During the actual competition, our workstations will be in a huge hall, and people will be walking around and observing us. It's not like I haven't experienced it before. During the Singapore competition, I drew lots for one of the worst seats there was. First computer, right at the aisle. People who got computers across from me, didn't have people walking behind them and staring at their screens. (Like they can see anything from that distance anyway)
So as part of my 'training program', they thought it would be beneficial for me to sit in a crowded area and do my work. Today they set up a desktop with 2 monitors right in the middle of the school Concourse. Result?
Pure embarrassment. People weren't looking at the damn screen, they were looking at ME. I was the only nutcase there, on the metal bench, who had a whole effing desktop on it. Everyone else had laptops, but I had a desktop with 2 monitors no less. Who wouldn't stare?
And they did stare at me like a zoo specimen. Oh gosh. It was sooo embarrassing, they were like staring and staring, even when I glared back, they continued staring as they walked and CONTINUED staring over their shoulders even when they're way past me. And I was glaring at them, they didn't even care. They just. Stared. I mean, okay it's weird, but at least SURREPTITIOUSLY and SECRETLY sneak glances. They're supposed to look AWAY when they spot me looking, right?
That's not the worst thing. As they stare, they smile and giggle to themselves and their friends!!! It's hard not to think they are not thinking or talking about me ):
The watercooler is right by my bench. And this guy was like walking in front of me refilling his bottle, and yeah, he was looking sideways and staring. And staring and smiling to himself. And even after I said loudly (to Kaye, who accompanied me for a while) "WTF THE NEXT PERSON THAT STARES I SWEAR I'LL-" He was still glancing sideways at me.
And it got worse with more and more people staring and giggling. One guy even dared to go up to me and ask "Sorry, I'm just curious, but why did you bring your desktop here?" and I was like "Uhhh... it's the school's." and the guy walked off with his friend saying loudly "See! I TOLD YOU."
I can just imagine their conversation before that..
Dude 1: LOL. OMG look at that crazy girl, she brought her whole desktop to school omgwtfwrofl.
Dude 2: Dude, that's probably like a school computer or something.
Dude 1: LOL DUDE, she probably doesn't have a laptop so she brought her whole desktop roflewtflol.
Dude 2: Fine, I'll just ask her.
That dude was the one staring at me and continued staring, looking over his shoulder. And after a few more girls stared and laughed at me, there was a point where I really felt so fed up and couldn't help but tear up. And no one was there at the time, so I was feeling so alone, and without internet. Sigh.... FML.
During the actual competition, our workstations will be in a huge hall, and people will be walking around and observing us. It's not like I haven't experienced it before. During the Singapore competition, I drew lots for one of the worst seats there was. First computer, right at the aisle. People who got computers across from me, didn't have people walking behind them and staring at their screens. (Like they can see anything from that distance anyway)
So as part of my 'training program', they thought it would be beneficial for me to sit in a crowded area and do my work. Today they set up a desktop with 2 monitors right in the middle of the school Concourse. Result?
Pure embarrassment. People weren't looking at the damn screen, they were looking at ME. I was the only nutcase there, on the metal bench, who had a whole effing desktop on it. Everyone else had laptops, but I had a desktop with 2 monitors no less. Who wouldn't stare?
And they did stare at me like a zoo specimen. Oh gosh. It was sooo embarrassing, they were like staring and staring, even when I glared back, they continued staring as they walked and CONTINUED staring over their shoulders even when they're way past me. And I was glaring at them, they didn't even care. They just. Stared. I mean, okay it's weird, but at least SURREPTITIOUSLY and SECRETLY sneak glances. They're supposed to look AWAY when they spot me looking, right?
That's not the worst thing. As they stare, they smile and giggle to themselves and their friends!!! It's hard not to think they are not thinking or talking about me ):
The watercooler is right by my bench. And this guy was like walking in front of me refilling his bottle, and yeah, he was looking sideways and staring. And staring and smiling to himself. And even after I said loudly (to Kaye, who accompanied me for a while) "WTF THE NEXT PERSON THAT STARES I SWEAR I'LL-" He was still glancing sideways at me.
And it got worse with more and more people staring and giggling. One guy even dared to go up to me and ask "Sorry, I'm just curious, but why did you bring your desktop here?" and I was like "Uhhh... it's the school's." and the guy walked off with his friend saying loudly "See! I TOLD YOU."
I can just imagine their conversation before that..
Dude 1: LOL. OMG look at that crazy girl, she brought her whole desktop to school omgwtfwrofl.
Dude 2: Dude, that's probably like a school computer or something.
Dude 1: LOL DUDE, she probably doesn't have a laptop so she brought her whole desktop roflewtflol.
Dude 2: Fine, I'll just ask her.
That dude was the one staring at me and continued staring, looking over his shoulder. And after a few more girls stared and laughed at me, there was a point where I really felt so fed up and couldn't help but tear up. And no one was there at the time, so I was feeling so alone, and without internet. Sigh.... FML.