Text of last week's talk at church
Here's the text of a talk I gave last week at church, intended as a pep talk for the new year.. Title was,
Kicking Some 'BUT'
The idea for this topic was generated by something AI said in one of her talks a few months ago. She said---I'm paraphrasing---that the word "because" was a way to make an excuse for something.
Making excuses is something I happen to be very good at, probably because it's a requirement of customer service, where callers are always asking WHY---Why didn't my insurance pay for this proceedure? "Because it isn't covered." Why hasn't my package arrived? "Because you selected economy shipping."
Equally common, or maybe even more so, is BUT.
How many of these sound familiar:
I lost ten pounds...BUT I gained five back.
I was going to mow the lawn...BUT the game was on.
I'd like to see that new movie...BUT I can't afford a ticket.
I was going to do laundry...BUT I started reading a book and lost track of time.
I was going to fix that new recipe for dinner...BUT I don't have the ingredients I need.
I need to clean out my house...BUT I look around and get so overwhelmed.
One way or another, we all have "BUTS" in our lives, all those buts and becauses that we use to justify our failures to ourselves. I know how often I feel like a failure, and I've started to notice how often BUT or BECAUSE plays a part in that failure.
When I signed up for this talk, I thought, "Hey, it's the last Sunday of the year, that's a good time for a little pep talk."
Well, it's hard to feel motivational when you feel like a failure. I'm trying to motivate myself, and hopefully a little of it will spill over and motivate you, too.
Here we are, coming up on the New Year. It's a popular time for people to think about the changes they want to make in their lives.
Top 10 New Year's Resolutions
1. Spend More Time with Family & Friends
2. Make Time for Fitness
3. Lose Weight
4. Quit Smoking
5. Enjoy Life More
6. Quit Drinking
7. Get Out of Debt
8. Learn Something New
9. Help Others
10. Get Organized
Statistics show that 40 to 45% of American adults make one or more resolutions each year.
As time goes by, the success rate declines most in the first month:
- past the first week: 75%
- past 2 weeks: 71%
- after one month: 64% are still hanging in there
- after 6 months: only 46%
While a lot of people who make NYRs do break them, research shows that making resolutions is useful. People who explicitly make resolutions are 10 times more likely to attain their goals than people who don't explicitly make resolutions. Saying, for instance, "I want to lose weight!" is less effective than having a plan for weight loss, such as, "I'm going to stop having donuts for breakfast, and workout for two hours on days with an 'R'!"
There's a school of thought that says 21 days is all it takes to establish a new habit, BUT in reality, change takes time; when someone makes a deep commitment to change, they can expect to see positive and lasting change in 6-12 months.
Some of the strategies that help with the process are
to Pinpoint obstacles: Specify what the baggage, habits, emotions, and environment are that are keeping us from our goals. For instance, if your goal was weight loss, maybe you always have breakfast at McDonalds, or you meet your friend for lunch every week, or you 'need' chocolate when you're stressed.
Identify best practices. Explore how others have successfully made changes in the areas we would like to change. You could look into a weight loss support group or consult a nutritionist or keep a food diary.
Environment: Surround yourself with people, surroundings and activities) that support and encourage your efforts. Clear the junk food out of your kitchen. Meet your friend for a walk instead of coffee, or walk to where you're having coffee with your friend. Cut back to once a week for fast food and find a healthier alternative for the other days.
Change goals: Establish clear objectives for what areas we want to change, how we will change them, and the ultimate outcome we want to achieve. Maybe a low-fat diet sounds like it's do-able; you could get books on low-fat cooking from the library, decide you want to reduce your fat intake to a certain percentage of your caloric intake, and maintain that strategy. Or maybe you believe exercise will help you shape up and lose weight. You might chart of your workouts and have a goal, such as participating in an event like a 5K.
Action steps: Describe the specific steps we will take to pursue our change goals. This is where things like charts and food diaries are helpful. If you say, I'm going to stick to a 2000 calorie eating plan, it's too easy to fudge the details---no pun intended---if you don't write it down. If you get a out of control for whatever reason, you can adjust your food plan accordingly.
Forks in the road: Recognize that we have choices in which road we can take and can choose the good road toward positive change. We don't fail because we fall down, we fall when we don't get back up.
We need to make change an ever-present part of our life. We need to keep getting back up and continuing to pursue our goals. After all, there's an almost even chance that we'll succeed.
Keep in mind the Three Ps: Perseverance -- Persistence -- Patience:
Having Perseverance means we must maintain our determination to achieve our goals consistently.
Persistence refers to our ability to respond positively to setbacks we will surely experience in the change process.
The need for Patience is a constant reminder that change takes time and that if we maintain our commitment, we will make the changes we want.
After all, if we don't try, next year, we'll be right where we are now. What will our BECAUSE be then?
I'm going to hand out pieces of paper, and I'd like each of you to write down something that you've been making excuses for, and how you'd like to change it. This is just for you; we're not going to read them out loud, I'm not collecting them.
When you're though, I'd like you to take it home and put it somewhere where you can refer back to it in a year, and see how you've done. If you have a calendar for the new year, maybe you could tape it to the back, or store it with your holiday decorations or if you're the organized type, in a folder marked 2012...wherever you'll find it this time next year, so you can see if you're one of the success stories.
Let's see if we can kick that BUT.
***
.
Kicking Some 'BUT'
The idea for this topic was generated by something AI said in one of her talks a few months ago. She said---I'm paraphrasing---that the word "because" was a way to make an excuse for something.
Making excuses is something I happen to be very good at, probably because it's a requirement of customer service, where callers are always asking WHY---Why didn't my insurance pay for this proceedure? "Because it isn't covered." Why hasn't my package arrived? "Because you selected economy shipping."
Equally common, or maybe even more so, is BUT.
How many of these sound familiar:
I lost ten pounds...BUT I gained five back.
I was going to mow the lawn...BUT the game was on.
I'd like to see that new movie...BUT I can't afford a ticket.
I was going to do laundry...BUT I started reading a book and lost track of time.
I was going to fix that new recipe for dinner...BUT I don't have the ingredients I need.
I need to clean out my house...BUT I look around and get so overwhelmed.
One way or another, we all have "BUTS" in our lives, all those buts and becauses that we use to justify our failures to ourselves. I know how often I feel like a failure, and I've started to notice how often BUT or BECAUSE plays a part in that failure.
When I signed up for this talk, I thought, "Hey, it's the last Sunday of the year, that's a good time for a little pep talk."
Well, it's hard to feel motivational when you feel like a failure. I'm trying to motivate myself, and hopefully a little of it will spill over and motivate you, too.
Here we are, coming up on the New Year. It's a popular time for people to think about the changes they want to make in their lives.
Top 10 New Year's Resolutions
1. Spend More Time with Family & Friends
2. Make Time for Fitness
3. Lose Weight
4. Quit Smoking
5. Enjoy Life More
6. Quit Drinking
7. Get Out of Debt
8. Learn Something New
9. Help Others
10. Get Organized
Statistics show that 40 to 45% of American adults make one or more resolutions each year.
As time goes by, the success rate declines most in the first month:
- past the first week: 75%
- past 2 weeks: 71%
- after one month: 64% are still hanging in there
- after 6 months: only 46%
While a lot of people who make NYRs do break them, research shows that making resolutions is useful. People who explicitly make resolutions are 10 times more likely to attain their goals than people who don't explicitly make resolutions. Saying, for instance, "I want to lose weight!" is less effective than having a plan for weight loss, such as, "I'm going to stop having donuts for breakfast, and workout for two hours on days with an 'R'!"
There's a school of thought that says 21 days is all it takes to establish a new habit, BUT in reality, change takes time; when someone makes a deep commitment to change, they can expect to see positive and lasting change in 6-12 months.
Some of the strategies that help with the process are
to Pinpoint obstacles: Specify what the baggage, habits, emotions, and environment are that are keeping us from our goals. For instance, if your goal was weight loss, maybe you always have breakfast at McDonalds, or you meet your friend for lunch every week, or you 'need' chocolate when you're stressed.
Identify best practices. Explore how others have successfully made changes in the areas we would like to change. You could look into a weight loss support group or consult a nutritionist or keep a food diary.
Environment: Surround yourself with people, surroundings and activities) that support and encourage your efforts. Clear the junk food out of your kitchen. Meet your friend for a walk instead of coffee, or walk to where you're having coffee with your friend. Cut back to once a week for fast food and find a healthier alternative for the other days.
Change goals: Establish clear objectives for what areas we want to change, how we will change them, and the ultimate outcome we want to achieve. Maybe a low-fat diet sounds like it's do-able; you could get books on low-fat cooking from the library, decide you want to reduce your fat intake to a certain percentage of your caloric intake, and maintain that strategy. Or maybe you believe exercise will help you shape up and lose weight. You might chart of your workouts and have a goal, such as participating in an event like a 5K.
Action steps: Describe the specific steps we will take to pursue our change goals. This is where things like charts and food diaries are helpful. If you say, I'm going to stick to a 2000 calorie eating plan, it's too easy to fudge the details---no pun intended---if you don't write it down. If you get a out of control for whatever reason, you can adjust your food plan accordingly.
Forks in the road: Recognize that we have choices in which road we can take and can choose the good road toward positive change. We don't fail because we fall down, we fall when we don't get back up.
We need to make change an ever-present part of our life. We need to keep getting back up and continuing to pursue our goals. After all, there's an almost even chance that we'll succeed.
Keep in mind the Three Ps: Perseverance -- Persistence -- Patience:
Having Perseverance means we must maintain our determination to achieve our goals consistently.
Persistence refers to our ability to respond positively to setbacks we will surely experience in the change process.
The need for Patience is a constant reminder that change takes time and that if we maintain our commitment, we will make the changes we want.
After all, if we don't try, next year, we'll be right where we are now. What will our BECAUSE be then?
I'm going to hand out pieces of paper, and I'd like each of you to write down something that you've been making excuses for, and how you'd like to change it. This is just for you; we're not going to read them out loud, I'm not collecting them.
When you're though, I'd like you to take it home and put it somewhere where you can refer back to it in a year, and see how you've done. If you have a calendar for the new year, maybe you could tape it to the back, or store it with your holiday decorations or if you're the organized type, in a folder marked 2012...wherever you'll find it this time next year, so you can see if you're one of the success stories.
Let's see if we can kick that BUT.
***
.