i'm tired of this shit
Journal i'm torn, i have a problem and i need help. Ok, well i'm crazy about this guy but i feel like he's hiding things from me, things i should know. I have a feeling deep in my stomach that he has had sex with someone other than me since we've hooked up. He acts a certain way when he is with me but i know he is another way around other people, this is basically a thing of how can you love someone when you don't feel like you really know them. Since the moment that i meet him he thrived on being a ladies man and though i did'nt believe this from looking i found it out to be true. Then like a idiot i fell in love, but i could'nt help it. I only mention this now because for one, like i said i have this terrible feeling and for two, i fear i might be prego and i'm really scared that i might just end up "another young, dumb girl." Every time i try to talk to him it ends up the same way, he assures me that i'm the only one but there is a look in his eyes, a look that i can't ignore. His job for one is nothing but half naked girls and normally i would'nt mind because i would consider myself a very good catch but it;s like he takes pride in it and i know he tries with all of them, and all though i try to show that it does'nt bother me but it does. And he hangs out with girls that he has fooled around with, come on this is not right. but yet i am the type of girl that loves to hang out with guys just because i always have and i don't do anything with them but he has a problem with it so right there if i'm with him i can't have friends. We recently broke up and i made a bunch of new kick ass friends {all guys} and now that we are talking again i feel guilty to hang out with them in fear of what he'll say and i should'nt, but yet he can work with and hang out with girls that he fucks around with. Like one time i found a video on his computer of a girl dancing around taking off her clothes named Jenn. I confronted him about it and of course he denied he even went to say he did'nt even know her but yet she's on his buddy list, boyskickme. Oh yea babe i really believe you. God i'm tired of feeling stupid and he knows i'll eventually find out but yet he lies. I would respect him more if he would respect me and tell me the fucking truth. I think for my own best interest i should just hang out and really make a decision on if i can really live with this ohh and i think i already did, i can't.........................