(no subject)
I'm sooo tired, i havent really been sleeping lately. Last night everyone got together at the beach and partied with a bunch of beer. I've been talking to this guy and he is really sweet to me and we have so much is common that it's scary. At first i did'nt want anything to do with him but i realized that i have to move on with my life and leave certain things in the past, which is exactly what i plan to do. No matter what you do if there is a rift is something it can't be fixed so move on. It's so funny the way the heart works sometimes, one minute you think the pain is so terrible and you can't even breath or think about what your life is going to be like but somehow you work through it and just take everything in and accept and move on. I've made some good friends and have been having some good times. I'm not sure if anything will come of me and this guy but it's nice to have someone to confide in even if its for a short time. In other news my G.M. is leaving in a couple monthes and he's always been a good friend to me, he's seen me to through alot and he's helped me out alot, it just goes to show you that anything can change at anytime and the only person you can count on to be there is yourself and if you lose that then your screwed. I've made it a point to pay attention and learn as much as you can from people because if you don't open your eyes once in a while then you lose touch with the important things in life, which is being happy, and growing as a person, i've grown alot as a person in the past couple of weeks and realized alot. Mostly don't stick around if your not getting what you need, just because something scares you it doesn't mean you don't have to face it. The only thing that pisses me off is when other people feel the need to call someone a liar when they don't even know the story for instance a mutual friend of me and my ex was mad at me because i called the cops on my ex, well then he should'nt have acted like an heartless person, i mean i gave him so many chances to make things right with us but he just did'nt care. I know he loved me and god knows i loved him but when i would think about us getting married and having a baby i would just think about him getting pissed off at our baby and yelling at it or he would have his stupid friends come over and get stupidly drunk, i would think about my baby growing up in a house where the only thing it would witness is fighting. I don't want that in my life but who am i kiding i was stupid for sticking around after i caught a little girl in his bed or after he went crazy at my 18th birthday if he cared at all about me he would've comtrolled himself. Time after time he would fuck up and then convince me that he would'nt hurt me anymore and the sad thing is i would believe him everytime and come running back to him like a stupid kid. And then once agian he would go back to his old ways and i mean come on i like to play fight as much as the next person but a gentleman knows when he's being too rough with a girl and when you keep on brusing her you think they would realize that they are being too rough, but no he did'nt care if i had to walk around with bruses all over me he did'nt ever care. But do you think he told any of this to his friends oh no it's that bitch Malinda put me in jail because im such a sweet loving boyfrind and all i do is love her, yea my ass. I'm sorry i had to put him in jail i never in my life wanted to have to go through that or put anyone though that trust me i am sorry but he gave me no other option he even took my keys, he did'nt care he wanted to hurt me and so he took my property away from me like i was his kid. And on top of that he threw away my manager book because he did'nt care and i got in so much trouble for that but once again he does'nt care, and he never will so screw all of it. Well i'm done with this whole my ex was mean to me thing and i'll never be with a person like that again i've learned my lesson. Anyway i'm gonna go get some sleep, peace out nucka.