I just wrote the longest entry of my life, it took me 3 hours and as…: vanillacelica

vanillacelica

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May 31, 2005 13:28

I just wrote the longest entry of my life, it took me 3 hours and as soon as I finished the screen just vanished. Completely. So now I am going to try and rewrite it, just once, in Word. And hopefully it won’t happen again. :-/

As it started: the last week of my life was amazing.

All the places that I visited were entirely beautiful. But for now I want to talk about the people that I met. Later you can see pictures of each place in my webshots photo album after I complete it.

Anyway, the three days we spent in Copenhagen before we left for our cruise were nice. It started out a little rough. I left confused about Sean. And a bit upset. But I worked through it with a nice talk from my mom and advice from my dad. Our last day in Copenhagen was certainly the best.

Sunday, On the cruise I could tell right away that there were not many younger people. Only the people who worked for the ship. Stewards.. bar tenders.. waiters and activities people. We boarded on Sunday, the 22nd. My goal entering the ship was to try and make friends right away because on previous cruises I never got the courage to meet people until the last day when there was no time left to enjoy. We had dinner the first night and made friends right away with the table next to us. They were from England: Tracie and Ged, and then her parents: Pat and Ron. They were very nice. We shared all kinds of stories. We also had a strong mother daughter connection and had many talks about how things were as Tracie was a teenager and as my mom heard how her and her mother never spoke, I think she grew appreciation for our relationship although we fight often, I still tell her so much. After dinner we saw the show, I left it early and took pictures of the sunset. It’s so hard not to think of Romance on the trips we go on for we always visit such beautiful places.. and I am a hopeless romantic. My dad and I got together later and walked around. We decided I would try to order my first legal drink. I was told that you only had to be 18 since we were in Europe. They asked me right away for my ID, but apparently my Costa card (ship credit card) had stars on it to let them know I was not old enough to drink. They sent me over to the information desk. Apparently my card was set up like it was for use in the Caribbean. So he cut up my card and made me a new one. Then I headed back over and had my first legal drink: a Heineken.  We decided to check out the disco. You walk into it through a revolving door, there is a bar, then it overlooks the disco below. You go down a spiral staircase to the dance floor, and right next to it is somewhat of a lounge. I watched the dancers from above. Especially this one guy who was Italian who I later learned was named Alexi. It turns out all the majority of the people down there are the activities crew for the ship. It’s actually part of their job to go party there everynight and keep the place lively. After a while I decided to head to sleep.

Monday, it was our first entire day at Sea. I roamed around and relaxed by the pool with my parents. It was then that I first saw him. I was walking across deck 9 to the elevator to go down to the room (deck 1). I walked in and kind of looked down, I looked up to him and his cousin (Francesco-16) walk in. He was gorgeous. Dark brown hair, brown eyes that glowed, very bronzed skin that apparently was a light color for him. He was about 6’1” or 2” slender, in shape, and his features fit him just perfect. I had never seen someone look so good. And right away I was intimidated. I looked down again. I sensed him watching me as the elevator headed towards his floor. Deck 5. I looked up as he was about to get off and he was looking at me, smiled, and said “Ciao”. Best Ciao I ever heard in my life. That’s what I told my parents as soon as they got back to the room. So we ended up calling him “the Ciao guy”. I looked for him the rest of the evening but I was unsuccessful. My parents and I sat in the front row at the show, which I regretted because mainly it was just a super close version of a bunch of dancers in thongs. But my dad told me “Thanks a lot” haha. Him and I roamed around all evening, and we ended up in the art store. There was the guy who was in charge of selling the art all around the ship. First thing I said when I walked in to my dad.. with out noticing him in the back corner.. was that one of the paintings I had seen in Hawaii. It was by Godard. It was black background with Martini glasses and little Olive guys with arms and faces. There were others in Hawaii that I believe had fruit and vegetables that were alive. I wonder if any of you remember that artist. They also had tons of Wyland around the ship for sale. The art guy goes… “did I just hear English?” with excitement. See… on this ship English speakers were a Minority. It took forever to get through announcements because they had to repeat it 7 times. Italian (the majority), Spanish, French, German, English, Portuguese, and Japanese. We talked to him for awhile. He was from Canada. He seemed like a nice guy. My dad headed to bed soon after so I went to the disco. I ordered myself a drink then looked over the edge onto the dance floor. The art guy was down there. He motioned to me to come down. Turns out his name is Paul. He was sitting with all the activities people. So I was introduced to Alexi, and many others. He talked to me for 2 hours. Constantly about himself.. how much money he made.. how he has his own house.. his cars.. all these women that like him.. it rather annoyed me. But I didn’t want to be mean so I just sat through it. No other guys came near me because I was with him. At 2 AM my father actually saved me. Said I probably needed some sleep so I went to bed. Paul gave me his pager number and room number… never used them.

Tuesday was spent in Stockholm Sweden. After dinner my mother and I were walking toward the theatre to the show and we walked past him and Francesco again. He smiles at me as we pass and says “Ciao”. As soon as he does my mom stops and goes “Oh My God my heart just did a flip!” It was amusing. We headed into the theatre, this time sitting in the 3rd row. It was a Juggler. There was a little boy about age 4 in the front row who jumped up and down the whole time. So excited! He was adorable. In the middle of the show I saw the Ciao guy walk in and sit with all the people in the front row. I could tell they were family. As soon as we exited the Theatre I saw Alexi standing next to a huge Chinese Dragon. He ran over to me and grabbed my arm and pulled me under it. I was surrounded by all the activities crew. He reached under again and tickled my side and smiled at me. We circled in and out of the crowd in the lounge. It was great. Then we walked it into a back entrance where the crew is allowed. After I was out of the Dragon he looked at me and said “Don’t I get a kiss?” But I was intimidated by him for some reason, just blew him one, and walked away. My parents and I then watched the show in the lounge. They were always hilarious. Later I again went to the disco. Hoping to find either Alexi.. or the Ciao guy. Unfortunately as soon as I walked in Paul was right behind me. He grabbed my hand and walked me down the spiral staircase to sit by the floor. 5 minutes later, tops, the Ciao guy came walking down the stairs. Paul and I were the only ones down tehre yet. He stood there and stared at me with longing. As if he wanted me to jump up and leave with him. I was so intimidated by him just looking at me I froze. I turned to Paul for a second because he was still babbling about himself and the Ciao guy was gone. For 20 minutes while Paul was talking I thought of excuses to leave, to find the Ciao guy. Eventually I said I wanted to visit my parents to see if I could get them to come. I ran out of there, and I searched the entire ship. Up and down, I couldn’t find the Ciao guy anywhere. I ended up going back to the disco, frustrated. When I walked in, Alexi was across the way, smoking a cigarette looking at me. He blew smoke clouds out of his mouth, something that would have been impressive in an old movie, but I wasn’t used to. I didn’t know how to approach him and Paul was watching me from below so I went back down there. After an hour of sitting through his boring shit again I used the excuse I was ill and went back to my room disappointed. The Ciao guy’s figure still strong in my mind.

Wednesday, the day in Helsinki Finland. After arriving back to the ship my parents and I had a rather large fight about how I needed to be in the room at midnight for we had to wake up at 6 AM for our excursion in Russia that would last all day. In the end, I won. My whole.. I’m 18 I can do anything I want. I just had to make something happen that night. I was running out of time. At dinner I had talks with Tracie about how to rid myself of Paul politely and try and get the courage to do whatever I needed to talk to the Ciao guy. At the show I saw him with his cousin Francesco in the balcony. They left in the middle. We attended a funny show in the lounge afterwards. Where couples were made out of the audience and they had to do funny rated R stuff together. The women had to sew hearts to the mens butts blind folded then each man had to do a funny dance around the audience and get women to slap his ass. Then they had to sit and lay on each other in funny sexual positions in order to get balloons to pop. It was great. I ended up going to the disco right at midnight. I had a lovely talk with one of the waiters. He was from the Philipphines. He told me I needed to find someone. I told him how I was petrified that Paul would walk through that door any moment and my evening would be wasted. 15 mins passed and the revolving doors started moving. I had this horrible gut feelings that it was Paul so I turned away, looking at the Phillipphino waiter. He smiles at me so I turn back around and the Ciao guy is standing face to face with me. He motions for me to sit down on the stools over looking the dance floor with him. And the Philipphino guy literally pushes me towards him so I will move, frozen from intimidation. We sit. He starts speaking to me in Italian and I say “What?” and he goes “Where are you from?” After replying he calls me the “Pretty girl from Ohio” He tells me that his name is Ernesto, after I pronounced it wrong he tells me Ernest, Ed. He is on the ship with his family, about 30 of them. Parents, two sisters, Aunts, Uncles, many many cousins. Little ones, big ones. And that he is from Naples Italy. He tells me he doesn’t like cruises for he doesn’t have enough time to really enjoy and get to know each place he visits and speak with its people and get to know them. He asks me if I’d like a drink. We try to order one but apparently he has the wrong costa card. He laughs “I’ve taken the little ones again” meaning his 6 y/o cousins. So because of the stars they wouldn’t allow him to purchase anything. I offered to pay but he strongly said No. He grabbed my hand and started walking me out of the revolving doors. He asked if I’d played in the Casino and I told him no.. and that it had never been legal for me before. He told me we would play Blackjack, Roulette, and Poker. I told him I had no idea how to play, and he told me not to worry. We went straight to blackjack. I had an idea how to play for Jose and Ben just taught me the last week of school, but I didn’t know how it worked when you were in a Casino. He handed the lady 50 Euros (about $60). He explained to me what to do, but it was confusing at first because he has a heavy accent and has trouble explaining everything. I did well atfirst but then lost. 20 Euros gone. We then played Roulette which confused me completely. All I knew was another 20 Euros were gone. He didn’t care, he just smiled. He kept smiling and telling me that I make him laugh. Last we played Poker. I let him know that I always lose.. especially at Strip Poker.. but he had no idea what the word Strip meant. I lost all 50 of his Euros. And he was happy. He said he was happy I got to play. He grabbed my hand again and walks me all around the ship. We talked about all sorts of stuff. He has a Voltswagon..didn’t recognize the name of it, but he always drives around a Vespa which he loves. It’s one of those small motorcycles that they ride in and out of cars in the movies. After we left the arcade he took me outside on desk 3. We watched the sky. It stays light basically all night. The sun sets there at 11 PM and rises at 4 AM, but it never gets pitch. He had his arms around me. He turned me around and he told me “I looked for you last night. I was very upset when I found you with him” I told him I didn’t want to be with Paul. He said “I came back later and you were gone, again, I was very upset” I was just shocked. To hear words like those come out of his mouth, to me. I quickly told him how I made excuses and left, and that I looked everywhere for him. He laughed, smiled, and said “Nice story, nice story, but I don’t believe you” and then he kissed me. The most amazing kiss I’ve ever had. I don’t want to put down others.. because I’ve had so many amazing moments here, but there, I was in another world. And it was spectacular. Like nothing else. He pushed me up against the wall by the ocean and he kissed me. He grabbed my hand and we walked into the lounge, there he looked around, and he kissed me again, he then took me past the shops, looked around, and kissed me again. This went on for awhile. Then he said he wanted to get me that drink so we went to his room. He walked in a grabbed his card. I could see his two cousins in there sleeping. He tucked in his little one and grabbed my hand again and we walked out. We went to the bar in the Casino and he ordered me what I wanted.. a Corona because I tried Pauls the night before and liked it. He ordered himself a Heineken. I saw the lime on top of my drink and I stupidly pushed it in. It exploded all over the place. He laughed, had me grab it and said “Let’s hurry out of here” and so we headed back to his room. We went out onto his balcony. A luxury my parents and I didn’t have  We sat in the two chairs and talked.We talked about religion. His family is also Catholic but he doesn’t believe. School/Science has made him not believe in Chrisianity, but he believes that there is some higher power because how else could the world be so beautiful? He kept holding my face and telling me my eyes were so beautiful, and mostly my hands. I’ve never been told my hands before.. And he said my neck. I was like honestly Ernesto.. my neck? Lol He’s studying engineering, but after reading about Einstein he wants to be a Physicist. He asked about me and relationships.. I told him I was just out of one, he agrees that long distance is a bad idea. When he hears I am single he says “Ahh very nice” with a smile. We never do finish our drinks. We just leave them sitting there. Once 3 AM rolls around we decide to take another walk around the boat because I’m chilly. He lets me wear his sweater. Somewhere in there we end up making out in a LifeVest closet.. then he escorts me back to my room with his sweater on. He kisses me goodnight and tells me he will see me tomorrow. I walk into the room and my parents are awake and have a million questions. My mom is happy to hear things worked out with him.

Thursday, an entire day spent in Russia, and I am DEAD tired. Tracie and everyone hears about my little night out as my parents call it. We get back for a quick dinner before heading back out into Russia to see the ballet. Somehow we have a little extra time so we look at the photo booth on the ship. I show my parents the photos of him and all the members of his family at dinner. There is one of him sitting at dinner. My mom looks at it, looks at me and says “God Kristen” and something along the lines of.. “How the hell did you get with him?” She even suggests we buy the picture. The ballet was beautiful.. I think.. I fell asleep during it 35 times. It’s a shame. A russian ballet.. the best in the world.. but it was worth it. To be up with him all night. Id be watching and my head would just drop. I saw the last act, part 3. After getting enough sleep through the first 2. And I was then awake enough to be able to spend most of the evening with him. When we came back my mother went to bed and Dad and I hit the midnight buffet. There I ran into Ernesto and Francesco. He introduced me to his cousin. Then my dad walked over, and he met them both. He asked me to meet him in the Casino when I was done eating. So I walked down there.. and as I arrived Francesco decided to leave. He took my hand and kissed it and said something in Italian, and left. Ernesto told me that he said it was a pleasure to meet me. I was embarrassed I never said the same. He played some blackjack. He won 50 Euros and then I convinced him to stop before he started to lose. My friend Brett from Michigan was also there playing and doing very well. Ernesto and I walked around on deck 10. It was freezing so he found me 2 blankets and wrapped me up like someone on little house on the praire. We sat down by the slide. Cuddled, and talked. By then we had a system of whenever he didn’t understand a world or a phrase he would snap his fingers and I’d be explain it. We talked about many things.. most of which were personal.. so I’ll just leave out the rest of the details of this night. But it was outstanding. When Ernesto led me back to my room he told me to go to his room as soon as possible the next day to be with him.

Friday I slept in and then my parents and I went into Estonia. We came back early and had tea. Dinner went well, it was the last formal night. Tracie and them said they would attend the show in the theatre that night with my parents. After dinner I headed to his room and he said he would attend the show with me. We were both all dressed up. When we walked into the theatre I felt like everyone was watching us. Tracie looked over at us and got this look on his face like.. she was really really impressed with him. We sat down. I ordered him a drink because he had his cousins card again and he’d gotten me one before. I kept trying to tell him stuff about the show but he never understood.. until one comment. He reached over and kissed me and said, I finally understood you!! He never let go of me. After the show was over we walked over the my parents and the Brits and he introduced himself and shook all of their hands. Afterwards apparently Ron and Ged said even they thought he was hot lol British people just don’t say that stuff.. haha We decided to watch the show in the lounge that night. We sat with his uncle who was very nice. He had been to Ohio before on business so we had a nice talk. After the show the photographers on board kept trying to take Ernesto and I’s picture. I found out he doesn’t like pictures. One because his family took pictures every 2 seconds on vacation and because there are so many of them it takes up all their time and because he is color blind. He prefers black and white photos. We walked around for awhile. And he wouldn’t let me take his picture. I have many pictures of his backside.. or him blocking his face.. etc. Or he’d steal my camera and take pictures of me. The only other pics I have of him his cousin took and they are mostly blurry. And they don’t look like him because he never really smiled like that. He usually always looked serious and content. At midnight we went to the buffet in the dining area. He bought us glasses of champange but we decided to save them for later to toast. Throughout all of our conversations there was always explaining. Like the word for toast.. he’d describe something and I’d tell him the word. Or I’d have to give other meanings for words so he understood. Like.. huge.. opposite of small. Rough.. opposite of smooth. His face.. was rough. Because he hadnt shaved. But the stubble looked so good on him. He shaved it Saturday because he thought I didn’t like it. We talked about many things in the dining room. After a while we noticed we were the only ones left in their besides the people cleaning up. I learned about the Italian school systems. Until he was 18 he was with the same 16 people. At 13 they choose from different schools to learn specific things. He went to the school of classics and learned latin and greek. They don’t get to choose anything. One of the sad things I found from the people on this ship is that everyone in europe likes Bush. Or RATHER they like watching him on TV and making fun of him. Everyone said the same thing. They’ve all seen interviews in their country and they talk about what an idiot it he is. They all love him because they think its pathetic he is leading the US. It amuses them.We heard that over and over. We left after that to find a place to toast. We ended up on the stairs on deck 9. We talked for hours. He loves the Sea. He almost started crying when he found out I only see the Sea once a year. He’s seen it every day of his life. And he goes for hours everyday in the summer. He doesn’t live in a house he lives in a building, his parents him and sisters, live on floors 4,5,and 6. He told me that he wants to travel all of Africa and I told him about my dream to go to Victoria Falls. He’s very serious when he speaks about his dreams and goals. He’s very excited because he’s going to Paris this coming year to play Hockey. He told me that if he ever is offered the chance to play in the US and he can, he will play for a team in Ohio aka Blue Jackets. Lol I know it won’t happen, but it was cute. He wants to live on nothing, and kill and cook for himself when he goes to Africa. We talked about a lot of things. We ended up toasting to ourselves. We even talked about what positions we sleep in. he took a funny picture of me.. demonstrating.. lol. We talked about love, life, and sex. Then we decided to meet on his balcony. I changed into warmer clothes. Sweatshirt and jacket. I went to his room and the key was waiting in the door for me. He was wearing pants and a short sleeved shirt. He had nine blankets all over the balcony and two comforters from the beds. We layed there together, kept each other warm, and fell asleep. I woke up at 6 AM and headed back to my room.

Saturday, it was our last day at Sea. I slept in really late and relaxed all day. I went swimming with my dad. I went to his room twice and he was never there. He walked by as I was in the pool, with Francesco, and they asked me to join them in the hot tub at the back of the ship. We had tea and then we went. Francesco showed up how long he could stay under water lol. He left eventually to take a shower. As we were laying there in the hot tub Ernesto started singing Don’t Go Away by Oasis. Ironically a song I had been listening to lately, on my newest CD I burnt. He said they are his favorite band. He’s seeing them in concert. He asked me what words in their lyrics meant. Like.. backbeat.. and “rain as it soaks you to the bone”. He told me he likes to use lyrics to express how he felt.. boy could I relate. He knows more lyrics to all the english songs that I listen to. Later that evening he started singing “When You Say Nothing at All” and told me it was from one of his favorite movies.. but he didn’t know the name in English.. the one with Julia Roberts… Notting Hill is one of my favorite movies. It was great. Eventually we had to leave to get ready for dinner. After dinner he won 100 Euros then we had to go pack his bags. He made a collage of stuff to take a picture of to remember him by, still not letting me take his picture. But then his little cousin walked in. And Ernesto let him take pics of us. We hung out with his little cousin for a while then went back to the Casino and we met up with my friend Brett, who just graduated from Michigan state. Unfortunately around then we ran into Paul, the art guy.  He sat and talked to us, I introduced him. Ernesto knew him right away.. and he casually left to play blackjack he said. When he came back for a second to announce how well his sister was doing he accidentally kicked a lamp near the couch. After he left. Paul was furious. He said he didn’t know whether to tell on him or report the incident. Then he goes… “and it’s a $200 lamp and he doesn’t look like he can afford it” I was sooo pissed. So Ernesto was wearing what, a tshirt? For the first time the whole trip. He wore suits and a tux and expensive clothse the whole time, as if it even mattered anyway. All I wear is tshirts. Plus I know that Ernestos family has more money than Paul. I wanted to kill him. Brett was pissed too so he came up with the excuse that he needed to take a walk and we got out of there. Im glad I wont be seeing Paul again. We hung out in the Casino a little more. Ernesto gave me a Casino chip and I put it in my pocker. Unfortunately I lost it.. I cant find it now.  Then Brett left us and so we headed up to our balcony. It was pretty warm the last night, so it was nice. We laid there and he sung “I don’t want to miss a thing” to me.. so random to hear an Italian accent sing that, but it was nice. That night.. was one of the greatest nights of my life. We never went to sleep. I had to go back to my room to leave Sunday morning at 6:30 AM. I won’t.. bore you with the details But yes saying goodbye was hard.

I didn’t put everything because… you know ;-) but that’s the just of what happened.

I’m not sad it’s over though. It’s one of those moments in your lifetime you’ll never forget. Whenever I’m feeling down I will think of it, and smile again at the memory. I told Ernesto I was sad because I knew we would probably never see each other again and he put his finger over my lips and said “Hush, never say never. Call me when you want to, and we will meet at Victoria Falls.” And he kissed me goodbye. The best kiss of a lifetime. And the last I saw of him was his head out the door watching me walk away.

Pictures if you’d like to see: