(no subject)
hhm . i'm not sure reaally what i'm feeling at the moment . but when do i ever reaally know ? i never do . i think that's the problem . like my mom said , i take after her; it's like my thoughts and my feelings are completely disconnected . i haven't had a day to myself in a while . and even having one , it makes me feel guilty . there's so many things i need to do before the summer ends , and there's not enough time . there's never enough time . i need to make time for my dad , and my mom , and my grandparents , and my little cousins , and my distant cousins , and my bestfriends (seperately of course , because they can't have it any other way) , and my boyfriend . i have no problem making time for him . i love him . andrew love . the perfect name to the not-so-perfect , but still amazing , boy . all these plans , i'm so over-whelmed . what am i going to do when school starts again ? speaking of school , i need to make time to get school things , too . maybe i can blend school shopping and mom-time together . say , shopping and dinner ? same with my dad . my dad started drinking again , and he's only been out of rehab two days . i think it's because nick has cancer . i don't know if he knows i know . he should , i mean , he was slurring , and saying things like " i made my bed today , and it was good . " do i have stupid written on my forehead ? well , i think my little rant is over . writing these things always helps me to think clearly .