some funny jokes...not yo mama!
officer, i swear to drunk im not god!
There is this lonely man sitting in a bar. A lonely lady comes over just to make friendly conversation. She asks 'What are you drinking?' He replies 'Magic Beer' She says "Oh yea... right... What are you drinking?' He replies 'MAGIC BEER' She says 'Okay...Prove it.' He gets up and flies around the building 3 times. She says to him 'I bet you couldn't do that again if your life depended on it.' So he gets up and flies around the building again 3 times. He gets back and the woman asks the bar tender for the same thing he has. She drinks it all then jumps out the window only to fall and break all the bones in her body and die. The bar tender looks over and says '...Superman, you are a real JERK when you're drunk!'
A man is driving home after a late night shift. Feeling tired he decides to stop on the side of the road for a power nap.Just as he was about to fall asleep, he was jolted awake by a loud knock on the car door. A jogger is standing outside his window so he winds down the window and says "Can i help you?'. "What time is it?" replies the jogger. "Its 6.00am" answers the man grumpily. Just as he starts to nod-off again, he is woken yet again by a loud rapping on his window. He looks to find another jogger standing outside his car. "What time is it?" askes the jogger. "It's 6.30am" replies the man. Feeling a great desire to not be disturbed, he puts up a sign on the window saying I DON'T HAVE THE TIME. Just as he falls asleep he is woken yet again by another jogger. "WHAT!"he replies, furious. "I'ts 7.00am" confirms the jogger.
there was three little boys who saved George Bush's life one day. george said "oh boys how can i ever repay you?" the first little boy said " i want a gameboy and all the games that come with it" george says " no problem. the next boy says i want a horse and a puppy and a playstation" george says " ok no problem" the last boy says i want a wheel chair with a built in refridgerator, and a built in game." george says " y u aint crippled" the boys says " no but i will be when i tell my daddy that i saved you.
"If there are any idiots in the room, will they please stand up," said the sarcastic teacher. After a long silence, one freshman rose to his feet. "Now then mister, why do you consider yourself an idiot?!" inquired the teacher with a sneer. "Well actually I don't," said the student, "but I hate to see you standing up there all by yourself."
There is this lonely man sitting in a bar. A lonely lady comes over just to make friendly conversation. She asks 'What are you drinking?' He replies 'Magic Beer' She says "Oh yea... right... What are you drinking?' He replies 'MAGIC BEER' She says 'Okay...Prove it.' He gets up and flies around the building 3 times. She says to him 'I bet you couldn't do that again if your life depended on it.' So he gets up and flies around the building again 3 times. He gets back and the woman asks the bar tender for the same thing he has. She drinks it all then jumps out the window only to fall and break all the bones in her body and die. The bar tender looks over and says '...Superman, you are a real JERK when you're drunk!'
A man is driving home after a late night shift. Feeling tired he decides to stop on the side of the road for a power nap.Just as he was about to fall asleep, he was jolted awake by a loud knock on the car door. A jogger is standing outside his window so he winds down the window and says "Can i help you?'. "What time is it?" replies the jogger. "Its 6.00am" answers the man grumpily. Just as he starts to nod-off again, he is woken yet again by a loud rapping on his window. He looks to find another jogger standing outside his car. "What time is it?" askes the jogger. "It's 6.30am" replies the man. Feeling a great desire to not be disturbed, he puts up a sign on the window saying I DON'T HAVE THE TIME. Just as he falls asleep he is woken yet again by another jogger. "WHAT!"he replies, furious. "I'ts 7.00am" confirms the jogger.
there was three little boys who saved George Bush's life one day. george said "oh boys how can i ever repay you?" the first little boy said " i want a gameboy and all the games that come with it" george says " no problem. the next boy says i want a horse and a puppy and a playstation" george says " ok no problem" the last boy says i want a wheel chair with a built in refridgerator, and a built in game." george says " y u aint crippled" the boys says " no but i will be when i tell my daddy that i saved you.
"If there are any idiots in the room, will they please stand up," said the sarcastic teacher. After a long silence, one freshman rose to his feet. "Now then mister, why do you consider yourself an idiot?!" inquired the teacher with a sneer. "Well actually I don't," said the student, "but I hate to see you standing up there all by yourself."