(no subject)
Being back at the movie theater has made me, once again, realize how much I hate people. They're greedy, lazy, RUDE and really pissing me off. If there's one type of person that I can't stand, it's a rude person. Is it hard to smile and say please and thank you? Hmmm...didn't think so.
I should probably study for my chemistry final...but I think that I'll just continue chatting with Ava and Nick for the time being. Screw that chem shit, man.
I've been on this total "emotional roller coaster", pardon the trite expression, and it's really getting the best of me. I can't figure out what I want. I'll spend hours, maybe days, convinced of what I want and then the next day..poof...not so sure it's that important to me anymore. Months ago everything was more clear, yeah it sucked really bad, but at least I thought that I knew what I wanted. There was a little bit of questionable stability, but at least it was some form of stability. Now there's all sort of murkiness and my thoughts are jumping around a lot and it's just not any fun. I feel like I'm being a pain in the ass, and I don't want to be that. I'm more than happy to have friends cry on my shoulder, but when it's my turn it's just really hard. It makes me feel so vulnerable and exposed. Sorry that I'm being vague, but it's hard for me to explain it when I don't even know what the hell is going on. All I want to say is this: Thank you for MAKING me talk about it (and cry about it). It helped, and you made me feel comfortable. You're the best. And YOU: I love you, and I'm not meaning to keep things from you or push you away in any way. I'm glad we're the "in" and we're friends again. I just don't want you to think less of me or feel sorry for me. I love all y'all!
I should probably study for my chemistry final...but I think that I'll just continue chatting with Ava and Nick for the time being. Screw that chem shit, man.
I've been on this total "emotional roller coaster", pardon the trite expression, and it's really getting the best of me. I can't figure out what I want. I'll spend hours, maybe days, convinced of what I want and then the next day..poof...not so sure it's that important to me anymore. Months ago everything was more clear, yeah it sucked really bad, but at least I thought that I knew what I wanted. There was a little bit of questionable stability, but at least it was some form of stability. Now there's all sort of murkiness and my thoughts are jumping around a lot and it's just not any fun. I feel like I'm being a pain in the ass, and I don't want to be that. I'm more than happy to have friends cry on my shoulder, but when it's my turn it's just really hard. It makes me feel so vulnerable and exposed. Sorry that I'm being vague, but it's hard for me to explain it when I don't even know what the hell is going on. All I want to say is this: Thank you for MAKING me talk about it (and cry about it). It helped, and you made me feel comfortable. You're the best. And YOU: I love you, and I'm not meaning to keep things from you or push you away in any way. I'm glad we're the "in" and we're friends again. I just don't want you to think less of me or feel sorry for me. I love all y'all!