Social Lubrication [Tsubasa Chronicle, Kurogane/Fai, 30_beverages]
Title: Social Lubrication
Series: Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicle
Characters: Kurogane/Fai
Rating: PG-13 [Suggestive, though]
Type: Humour [read: crack], romance
Written For:
30_beverages
Challenge: #16 - Wine
A/N: Fai isn’t an alcoholic. Or a crossdresser. Really. He just lacks common decency. Written for
lumivalkea, who gave me a plunnie as Fai as nurse.
Social Lubrication
Fai thought that drinking water was boring. It was something one did out of necessity, not because water actually tasted nice. In fact, it didn’t really have any taste, and was altogether rather bland both in appearance and flavour. If he wanted to sleep in and was too tired to grab his toothbrush, water would only increase the bitter taste in his mouth.
Besides, water also reminded him of ice. And thoughts of ice would invariably lead to a dark king and darker bruises.
Instead of water, Fai preferred wine. Though they’d visited and parted from a great number of different worlds, Kurogane still had not been able to convince Fai that wine was not a drink for every occasion, like the commonly spotted fruit juice, or soda. If he liked it, so what? The retired magician generally didn’t have problems with adding a little variety to the norm, even if certain ninjas didn’t exactly agree to his decision.
Wine left a sweet lingering on his tongue, and he could even choose between colours; what was not to like? When one drunk enough of wine, the effects seemed to include a nice, warm buzz, hot enough to even melt the ice inside. For that reason, Fai could forgive it the headache it gave him in the mornings.
Of course, its main perk was that it made his Kuro-pon so delightfully docile.
Fai didn’t mind being left with Sakura and Kurogane to take care of, while Syaoran was off to find the feather. Big Doggie suffered from a certain illness caused by a strange control, which Mokona had identified as the feather’s power. The disease didn’t cause more than fatigue - and perhaps rash in certain places, Fai hadn’t quite been able to determine that yet, for even a tired Kurogane complained when the pale fingers came too close to his body - leading the group to believe that the illness was only a side-effect, possibly triggered by the nature of the feather’s memory.
Because Mokona had to help Syaoran track this feather down to stop the disease, Fai’s only chance of communicating with either a grumpy and feverish Kurogane, or a sleeping princess, was through signs of good will. Fai considered himself a fairly agreeable character, and as the situation stood, the chance to convince Kuro-wan of this had finally arrived.
When they had first arrived in the world, the irate ninja had immediately fallen over in the middle of a crowded street, his suddenly pale look only enhanced by the flush reddening his cheeks and forehead. With the help of the children, Fai had lifted Kurogane to the nearest hotel they could find, which fortunately accepted the money they had earned in the last world with only a frown at the texture.
Syaoran had been adamant of putting Sakura into a separate room, and Kurogane had been too out of it to utter a complaint. Fai had readily agreed, understanding the importance of female privacy. He promised Syaoran that he would check on Sakura regularly. And now it was just a sleeping Kuro-pon, and him.
And wine.
For Fai, the equation was an easy one. He didn’t mind playing nurse for Daddy, especially not when the hotel had such useful maid costumes just lying in storage, next to the friendly bottles of wine. Fai wasn’t a wasteful person. Good things had to be shared friends, and alcohol was the best social lubrication to create these friends.
--
“I don’t get sick.” Kurogane didn’t believe his own trembling voice.
“What was that, Kuro-nyaan?”
Kurogane deducted that he had been wrong, and must be sick. Otherwise, he doubted he’d ever see the mind-boggling image of Fai coming at him with alcohol in his hand.
Dressed as a maid.
Ah, hell, who was he fooling. The mage was insane enough. But there was always the tiny hope that it could just be an illusion. Until Fai rolled the freezing bottle of wine over his heated forehead. “Kuro-pon, meet mister wine,” he said in a sing-song voice. “A fated encounter of my two dearest friends!”
He let out a gasp at the cold sensation of the bottle against his heated skin, which made Fai’s grin spread further. “See? You’re just like a doggie, Kuro-won! But for special large doggies such as yourself, we have special medicine to make you all better!”
The growl escaped Kurogane’s lips on its own accord. “If you dare to force wine down my throat, I will kill you.” Kurogane hoped the mage sensed he was serious. Kurogane also hoped his body was up for the challenge of actually getting up. Ignoring Fai’s costume was proving difficult enough as it was.
Fai plopped down on the bed whilst not completely managing to keep Kurogane from getting a good look at whatever was worn underneath maid outfits. “Of course I would never force my patient to do anything they didn’t like!” Kurogane already opened his mouth to protest this, but Fai was faster and continued without missing a beat.
“However, Sakura-chan wasn’t complaining either, so I suppose it will be alright.” Kurogane groaned loudly, wanting nothing more than to just be able to close his eyes in peace, and ride the wave of humiliation alone. He hated being sick. He hated it even more if he had an audience. Downed by a feather. How humiliating.
He could barely muster up the strength to pull down Fai’s ridiculously frilly skirt.
--
After Fai’s second bottle of wine, Kurogane changed his mind about not wanting to drink. In fact; he had to, if he wanted to keep somewhat sane around a meowing, giggling mage who absolutely refused to stop touching him. Kurogane ignored the warm hand on his knee, as it was almost the least intimate place it had touched all night.
“Kuro-puu, won’t you bark for me?” Fai meowed, putting King Wine the Third on Kurogane’s cheek, whilst spilling some of the red liquid over Kurogane’s head.
“Give me some of your medicine, wizard. In fact, give me all of it, so you won’t have anymore yourself - what is it now?” Kurogane felt exhausted, and didn’t like the implications of Fai’s soft ‘hee hee’.
“You barked at me. Good doggie.”
--
“You’re going to make yourself sick, you know.” Kurogane groaned as he tried sitting up, surprised at feeling better after having downed a few glasses of the wine. It was probably the lack of meowing that had fooled his exhausted brain into thinking it was safe.
Fai raised one heavy eye to Kurogane’s face, grinning at the ninja drunkenly. “I’m not… I’m your nursemaid, after all. Don’t you like my costume? It’s black, just the way you like it.”
“…It’s too small.” A fact Kurogane found it increasingly difficult to ignore. Whether it was the fatigue or the alcohol, he couldn’t tell. Probably a combination of the two.
“Who said good things always come in big packages, Kuro-rin?” Kurogane wished his mind would just let him pass out again, blissfully free from the annoying mage who by now refused to make any sense whatsoever, and made everything sound like some sort of dirty joke.
In all tiredness Kurogane’s brain ignored that such behaviour was not uncommon in the mage.
--
”Pet me, Kuro-woof!” Kurogane found it maddening that, though the mage was slurring, he could still understand what he was saying. He wished Mokona would just leave a little bit further, until he would stop understanding what rubbish Fai’s mouth produced. Then he considered the alternative, remembering the strange inharmonious consonants sounding so foreign from the man’s familiar voice, and wished the stupid manjuu bun would return very soon.
With a huff, he patted Fai’s head, which had lolled onto his shoulder, hoping to shut him up. “No, not there, Kuro-daddy…” was Fai’s teasing reply. Kurogane swore that Fai was now hiking the skirt up on purpose.
“Goddamnit, you damn mage! Just go to sleep already!”
Fai smirked, instantly looking surprisingly sober. “Alright, if that would make you happy…” He slid under the sweaty covers without hesitation, producing the closest sound to a purr Kurogane ever heard someone could produce. If Kurogane wasn’t so damn tired, he’d shove the man out of the bed and give him a fist in the face afterwards. For now, he realised it was the quietest he’d get the mage, and closed his eyes. Finally.
Syaoran better find the feather soon.
--
Kurogane woke up when something ticklish made him sneeze. The frilly headpiece of Fai’s outfit was the perpetrator, brushing over his nose and lips. With a growl he tried sitting up, but was ensnared by a pair of lanky arms wrapped around his chest. He pried them off, and the arms reluctantly let go of their iron grip. Fai yawned, sitting up as well. The mage ruffled his hair, looking completely angelic.
“Good morning, Kuro-rin!” Kurogane was relieved to see that Fai seemed atleast a bit embarrassed at sleeping in the same bed as Kurogane as the mage blushed and scooted to the opposite side.
It was only then that he realised that he wasn’t feeling feverish anymore, and the incessant pain had stopped wracking his body. Fai seemed to notice his surprise, and smiled, rolling on his stomach as he looked up at the ninja.
“Oh, by the way, Syaoran came by. He said something about having already found the feather… but you were looking so cute, nuzzled against me, that I didn’t have the heart to wake you up.” Fai decided it was probably best not to let Kurogane know that Syaoran had looked considerably paler as he left; Fai had to silently admit that, though he cared for the boy, he loved to watch him squirm. It was almost as fun as watching Kurogane squirm.
“You bastard, I did not nuzzle against you! Why would I even do that, anyhow? You’re probably annoying even in your sleep!” When the only response to his outburst was a wide smile, Kurogane groaned, kicking the annoying mage off of the bed.
“See, Kuro-pin? You’re simply too easily annoyed. I’m a nice guy, really! I even nursed you back to health.”
“Shut up. You just came into my room to gloat and get drunk and pass out on my bed. You bastard. You didn’t help at all!” Kurogane didn’t even have the energy to fight with the man for long; he knew the endeavour was fruitless from the start.
Fai simply smiled, gathered his long limbs from the floor. Kurogane briefly thought the mage was rather lively for someone who was supposed to be suffering from the hangover from hell.
“Same time tonight?”
Syaoran woke up from the loud clatter of jars and vases being broken, and decided he didn’t want to know.
Series: Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicle
Characters: Kurogane/Fai
Rating: PG-13 [Suggestive, though]
Type: Humour [read: crack], romance
Written For:
30_beverages
Challenge: #16 - Wine
A/N: Fai isn’t an alcoholic. Or a crossdresser. Really. He just lacks common decency. Written for
lumivalkea, who gave me a plunnie as Fai as nurse.
Social Lubrication
Fai thought that drinking water was boring. It was something one did out of necessity, not because water actually tasted nice. In fact, it didn’t really have any taste, and was altogether rather bland both in appearance and flavour. If he wanted to sleep in and was too tired to grab his toothbrush, water would only increase the bitter taste in his mouth.
Besides, water also reminded him of ice. And thoughts of ice would invariably lead to a dark king and darker bruises.
Instead of water, Fai preferred wine. Though they’d visited and parted from a great number of different worlds, Kurogane still had not been able to convince Fai that wine was not a drink for every occasion, like the commonly spotted fruit juice, or soda. If he liked it, so what? The retired magician generally didn’t have problems with adding a little variety to the norm, even if certain ninjas didn’t exactly agree to his decision.
Wine left a sweet lingering on his tongue, and he could even choose between colours; what was not to like? When one drunk enough of wine, the effects seemed to include a nice, warm buzz, hot enough to even melt the ice inside. For that reason, Fai could forgive it the headache it gave him in the mornings.
Of course, its main perk was that it made his Kuro-pon so delightfully docile.
Fai didn’t mind being left with Sakura and Kurogane to take care of, while Syaoran was off to find the feather. Big Doggie suffered from a certain illness caused by a strange control, which Mokona had identified as the feather’s power. The disease didn’t cause more than fatigue - and perhaps rash in certain places, Fai hadn’t quite been able to determine that yet, for even a tired Kurogane complained when the pale fingers came too close to his body - leading the group to believe that the illness was only a side-effect, possibly triggered by the nature of the feather’s memory.
Because Mokona had to help Syaoran track this feather down to stop the disease, Fai’s only chance of communicating with either a grumpy and feverish Kurogane, or a sleeping princess, was through signs of good will. Fai considered himself a fairly agreeable character, and as the situation stood, the chance to convince Kuro-wan of this had finally arrived.
When they had first arrived in the world, the irate ninja had immediately fallen over in the middle of a crowded street, his suddenly pale look only enhanced by the flush reddening his cheeks and forehead. With the help of the children, Fai had lifted Kurogane to the nearest hotel they could find, which fortunately accepted the money they had earned in the last world with only a frown at the texture.
Syaoran had been adamant of putting Sakura into a separate room, and Kurogane had been too out of it to utter a complaint. Fai had readily agreed, understanding the importance of female privacy. He promised Syaoran that he would check on Sakura regularly. And now it was just a sleeping Kuro-pon, and him.
And wine.
For Fai, the equation was an easy one. He didn’t mind playing nurse for Daddy, especially not when the hotel had such useful maid costumes just lying in storage, next to the friendly bottles of wine. Fai wasn’t a wasteful person. Good things had to be shared friends, and alcohol was the best social lubrication to create these friends.
--
“I don’t get sick.” Kurogane didn’t believe his own trembling voice.
“What was that, Kuro-nyaan?”
Kurogane deducted that he had been wrong, and must be sick. Otherwise, he doubted he’d ever see the mind-boggling image of Fai coming at him with alcohol in his hand.
Dressed as a maid.
Ah, hell, who was he fooling. The mage was insane enough. But there was always the tiny hope that it could just be an illusion. Until Fai rolled the freezing bottle of wine over his heated forehead. “Kuro-pon, meet mister wine,” he said in a sing-song voice. “A fated encounter of my two dearest friends!”
He let out a gasp at the cold sensation of the bottle against his heated skin, which made Fai’s grin spread further. “See? You’re just like a doggie, Kuro-won! But for special large doggies such as yourself, we have special medicine to make you all better!”
The growl escaped Kurogane’s lips on its own accord. “If you dare to force wine down my throat, I will kill you.” Kurogane hoped the mage sensed he was serious. Kurogane also hoped his body was up for the challenge of actually getting up. Ignoring Fai’s costume was proving difficult enough as it was.
Fai plopped down on the bed whilst not completely managing to keep Kurogane from getting a good look at whatever was worn underneath maid outfits. “Of course I would never force my patient to do anything they didn’t like!” Kurogane already opened his mouth to protest this, but Fai was faster and continued without missing a beat.
“However, Sakura-chan wasn’t complaining either, so I suppose it will be alright.” Kurogane groaned loudly, wanting nothing more than to just be able to close his eyes in peace, and ride the wave of humiliation alone. He hated being sick. He hated it even more if he had an audience. Downed by a feather. How humiliating.
He could barely muster up the strength to pull down Fai’s ridiculously frilly skirt.
--
After Fai’s second bottle of wine, Kurogane changed his mind about not wanting to drink. In fact; he had to, if he wanted to keep somewhat sane around a meowing, giggling mage who absolutely refused to stop touching him. Kurogane ignored the warm hand on his knee, as it was almost the least intimate place it had touched all night.
“Kuro-puu, won’t you bark for me?” Fai meowed, putting King Wine the Third on Kurogane’s cheek, whilst spilling some of the red liquid over Kurogane’s head.
“Give me some of your medicine, wizard. In fact, give me all of it, so you won’t have anymore yourself - what is it now?” Kurogane felt exhausted, and didn’t like the implications of Fai’s soft ‘hee hee’.
“You barked at me. Good doggie.”
--
“You’re going to make yourself sick, you know.” Kurogane groaned as he tried sitting up, surprised at feeling better after having downed a few glasses of the wine. It was probably the lack of meowing that had fooled his exhausted brain into thinking it was safe.
Fai raised one heavy eye to Kurogane’s face, grinning at the ninja drunkenly. “I’m not… I’m your nursemaid, after all. Don’t you like my costume? It’s black, just the way you like it.”
“…It’s too small.” A fact Kurogane found it increasingly difficult to ignore. Whether it was the fatigue or the alcohol, he couldn’t tell. Probably a combination of the two.
“Who said good things always come in big packages, Kuro-rin?” Kurogane wished his mind would just let him pass out again, blissfully free from the annoying mage who by now refused to make any sense whatsoever, and made everything sound like some sort of dirty joke.
In all tiredness Kurogane’s brain ignored that such behaviour was not uncommon in the mage.
--
”Pet me, Kuro-woof!” Kurogane found it maddening that, though the mage was slurring, he could still understand what he was saying. He wished Mokona would just leave a little bit further, until he would stop understanding what rubbish Fai’s mouth produced. Then he considered the alternative, remembering the strange inharmonious consonants sounding so foreign from the man’s familiar voice, and wished the stupid manjuu bun would return very soon.
With a huff, he patted Fai’s head, which had lolled onto his shoulder, hoping to shut him up. “No, not there, Kuro-daddy…” was Fai’s teasing reply. Kurogane swore that Fai was now hiking the skirt up on purpose.
“Goddamnit, you damn mage! Just go to sleep already!”
Fai smirked, instantly looking surprisingly sober. “Alright, if that would make you happy…” He slid under the sweaty covers without hesitation, producing the closest sound to a purr Kurogane ever heard someone could produce. If Kurogane wasn’t so damn tired, he’d shove the man out of the bed and give him a fist in the face afterwards. For now, he realised it was the quietest he’d get the mage, and closed his eyes. Finally.
Syaoran better find the feather soon.
--
Kurogane woke up when something ticklish made him sneeze. The frilly headpiece of Fai’s outfit was the perpetrator, brushing over his nose and lips. With a growl he tried sitting up, but was ensnared by a pair of lanky arms wrapped around his chest. He pried them off, and the arms reluctantly let go of their iron grip. Fai yawned, sitting up as well. The mage ruffled his hair, looking completely angelic.
“Good morning, Kuro-rin!” Kurogane was relieved to see that Fai seemed atleast a bit embarrassed at sleeping in the same bed as Kurogane as the mage blushed and scooted to the opposite side.
It was only then that he realised that he wasn’t feeling feverish anymore, and the incessant pain had stopped wracking his body. Fai seemed to notice his surprise, and smiled, rolling on his stomach as he looked up at the ninja.
“Oh, by the way, Syaoran came by. He said something about having already found the feather… but you were looking so cute, nuzzled against me, that I didn’t have the heart to wake you up.” Fai decided it was probably best not to let Kurogane know that Syaoran had looked considerably paler as he left; Fai had to silently admit that, though he cared for the boy, he loved to watch him squirm. It was almost as fun as watching Kurogane squirm.
“You bastard, I did not nuzzle against you! Why would I even do that, anyhow? You’re probably annoying even in your sleep!” When the only response to his outburst was a wide smile, Kurogane groaned, kicking the annoying mage off of the bed.
“See, Kuro-pin? You’re simply too easily annoyed. I’m a nice guy, really! I even nursed you back to health.”
“Shut up. You just came into my room to gloat and get drunk and pass out on my bed. You bastard. You didn’t help at all!” Kurogane didn’t even have the energy to fight with the man for long; he knew the endeavour was fruitless from the start.
Fai simply smiled, gathered his long limbs from the floor. Kurogane briefly thought the mage was rather lively for someone who was supposed to be suffering from the hangover from hell.
“Same time tonight?”
Syaoran woke up from the loud clatter of jars and vases being broken, and decided he didn’t want to know.