butterfly; chanyeol x fem!kyungsoo, r
Title: butterfly
Genre: romance
Rating: very very light r
Pairing: chanyeol x fem!kyungsoo
Synopsis: they are breathless. they are gut-wrenching romcom. they are beautiful satire that you cannot put down. they are so wrong, but they are so right.
Word Count: 2429
A/N: lapslock / x-posted to aff / very, very rough draft
butterfly
the off-white, peony-patterned wallpaper that wraps itself around the interior of kyungsoon’s room is the first thing chanyeol notices when he is led through a white door. the second thing he notices is the floral window sheer that hangs from a curtain rod on the other side of the room, pale and translucent against her equally pale walls.
this is the first time chanyeol has been in kyungsoon’s room and he is enamored by this hidden side of her, the secret femininity that she keeps guarded from everyone else. he understands why it had taken her so long to allow him in, the gesture is extremely intimate to her.
kyungsoon holds onto his hand tightly as she plops down on her bed. chanyeol assumes she’s nervous. he wonders when the last time there was a boy in here, he wonders if he’s the first to stumble his way into the private sanctuary of her home within a home.
“so, couple therapy?” she asks once the two of them are seated on her bed, legs criss-crossed and heads facing each other.
chanyeol has had this idea of ‘couple therapy’ for quite a while now, but he’s never had time to actually carry it out. it was always either, ‘i’m too busy, can’t hang out today’ or he just couldn’t bring it up without feeling awkward.
“not really ‘couple therapy’,” chanyeol says, making air quotes with his fingers. “it’s more like... i want to get to know you better.”
“get to know me better?” kyungsoon laughs airily and squints at chanyeol playfully. the action makes chanyeol’s heart want to burst into a thousand pieces. “don’t be silly, we know each other very well already.”
“well, i know all the good things about you,” one of kyungsoon’s eyebrows quirks up. “but i want to know what you think is bad about you. i don’t think i’ve ever heard you complain about yourself once to me, and you’d be lying if you said there isn’t anything you think is bad about yourself.”
“and you want me to just...spill the beans?” kyungsoon asks, her head tilting to the side. the next part is the part that chanyeol hesitates about.
“get undressed while you do it,” chanyeol begins. he sees kyungsoon’s eyebrows raise, and he quickly follows himself up with, “i want to see the parts of yourself that you hate so i can love them properly.”
the room falls silent after that. kyungsoon has her lip tucked between her teeth and she looks a bit apprehensive, but she soon lets go of chanyeol’s hand. she gets up and she pads her way towards her window. reaching behind her window sheers, she pulls down her window blinds, cutting off all light from coming into her room.
in the slight darkness, chanyeol can hear kyungsoon sigh softly. he hears her footsteps walk past him and to her door. she shuts it before she turns on the light.
as the artificial light filters through the room, she says, “if i’m going to do it, then you’re going to do it, too.”
chanyeol nods and gets off her bed, saying, “of course.”
he’s thankful her parents are out of the house today. this isn’t the first time that kyungsoon’s gotten undressed for him, it’s happened many times before. but this is more intimate because all of the past times had been quick and in the dark.
they face each other and they stand on the most vacant patch of carpet in her room. an onlooker would first notice their height difference. then, they would notice how different they look. they would notice chanyeol’s bad boy appearance and kyungsoon’s demure demeanor. the two of them aren’t the most attractive looking couple, but no one’s ever complained.
“so, uh,” chanyeol says. quite stupidly, at that. “lady first?”
kyungsoon laughs that same airy laugh and chanyeol hopes his face isn’t doing anything too embarrassing. she nods and she brings her hand up, pulling the hair tie keeping her pony tail up. she runs her fingers through the long tresses and brushes down the blunt bangs over her forehead before she says, “i really hate the natural color of my hair. your turn.”
chanyeol chuckles and he pulls his snapback off his head, laying it down on her bed neatly. “my ears are too big.”
“so are my eyes,” kyungsoon replies, a small smile creeping its way onto her face. she walks away and chanyeol is confused for a second, but then he realizes she’s finding some makeup remover and wiping the makeup off her face. when she returns, her face is bare and she says, “and my lips.”
“i don’t like the bump on my nose sometimes,” chanyeol runs his index finger down the slope of his nose.
“my arms are too fat,” kyungsoon starts. she unbuttons her baby pink blouse and chanyeol’s eyes rake over the expanse of her milky skin as she pulls the clothing to the floor. he watches her hands disappear behind her as she unhooks her bra. she lets that fall to the ground before continuing, “my boobs are lopsided.”
it takes chanyeol a moment to go on, but when he does, he pulls his grey hoodie off and says, “i don’t think my shoulders are broad enough. they look disproportionate.” he tugs his yellow shirt off as well.
there’s already a steady pile of clothing collecting on the floor, two separate hills of things to hide themselves behind. kyungsoon adds her dark blue skirt to one of the piles and as she steps out of it, she says, “my waist. i don’t like it at all. it doesn’t curve in the right way.”
a pair of blue jeans is kicked off of chanyeol’s legs and it joins his pile. “i walk a little bow-legged, and that’s a little embarrassing.”
“ah, i,” kyungsoon’s fingers slowly make their way to her underpants (boyshorts; chanyeol thinks they’re adorable). slowly, shyly, she pushes them down and nudges them aside with her feet. “i, uh, my thighs touch, and i don’t think that’s cute.”
kyungsoon is now nude and chanyeol joins her in such a state, pulling down his boxers. “i have a funny tan line on my legs from going on a vacation to mexico three years ago and that makes me really mad.”
bringing her hand up to cover her mouth, kyungsoon laughs lightly, almost giggles, shaking her head. chanyeol responds with a smile and a statement, “is there anything else?”
“i think i’m good.”
standing like this, the two of them don’t look like such a terrible match anymore. in the nude, they seem as if they fit together, chanyeol’s gangly arms a good balance to kyungsoon’s curvy figure. if an onlooker were to approach, they would first notice the softness of their gazes upon each others’ features.
the room stays silent for the time span of thirty synchronized heartbeats.
when chanyeol breaks the silence, he feels like his voice echoes too loudly in a room that suddenly seems so small. he says, “is that really it?”
“what do you mean?” kyungsoon smiles at chanyeol and the smile is almost all eyes. “i told you it was, didn’t i?”
“well, yeah, but all those things were physical,” chanyeol watches as the evident smile in kyungsoon’s eyes fades away. “there has to be something about your personality that you dislike. i mean, you call me the happiest person in the world and even i hate something about my personality.”
“well, what is it?” kyungsoon folds her arms over her chest and chanyeol assumes it’s out of self-consciousness. “i’ll tell you mine after you tell me yours.”
“okay,” a sigh follows this statement. the sigh is followed by, “i feel that i am too immature at times and that i can barely take care of myself, much less anything else.”
the next heartbeat is less synchronized. kyungsoon doesn’t say a word as her resting heart rate shoots up.
“and when i say ‘much less anything else’,” chanyeol’s breath hitches and kyungsoon’s follows suit. “i mean, i feel that i cannot take care of you as much as i’d like to.”
“it’s okay, you don’t have to take care of me,” kyungsoon says. this time, her mouth smiles but her eyes don’t. “i can take care of myself. just.. stick with me.”
“what about you?”
“what about me?”
chanyeol’s eyebrows furrow and kyungsoon looks down at the ground.
timidly, she mutters, “i often feel like i am not good enough for you.”
chanyeol’s heart speeds up to match up with kyungsoon’s. they are not aware, but their heartbeats fall in line. badump. badump. badump.
“i don’t think i’m pretty enough,” tears brim at her eyes. chanyeol wants to reach out and hold her. her lips are dry with confession and her tongue rains against lip skin. “i don’t think i am the right girl for you to love. i am too quiet, and you..”
artificial lighting doesn’t blind chanyeol as much as kyungsoon does.
“you’re a social butterfly. everyone loves you,” her arms tighten around her body and chanyeol wishes he could do the same to her. her voice quivers as she continues, “all i care about is school and that’s so lame, but all you care about is me when so many other people are caring about you.”
makeup residue stains kyungsoon’s cheeks. tears attempt to wash them away.
“why do you invest so much time in me when there are prettier girls out there? nicer girls. skinnier girls. girls that actually like to go out and party.”
chanyeol’s eyes fixate themselves on kyungsoon. kyungsoon’s eyes stare at the floor. toes curl against carpet. breaths speak more than voices do.
“you,” the word comes out as quiet as a breath. “you have all the potential in the world and here i am, weighing you down.”
“hey,” chanyeol says. he finally musters up the confidence to reach over and press his large hands against kyungsoon’s shoulders. he steadies her. she looks up. they exchange glances and he says again, “hey.”
kyungsoon lets out a sound that classifies itself as something between a sob and a laugh. she says, “hi. i’m sorry. i don’t know why i’m crying. i’m so ugly when i cry. it’s..embarrassing.”
“you’re beautiful,” chanyeol says. “so, so, beautiful.”
“don’t say that if you don’t mean it,” kyungsoon says. “i literally listed reasons why i’m not beautiful at all to you. how can you still say that and mean it?”
she brings one of her hands up and wipes at her eyes. she sniffles and chanyeol says, “no, don’t say that. please don’t say that, i..”
the room tries to steal his words, but he chokes them out anyway. his fingers thread themselves through her hair and weakly, he mumbles, “your hair. it’s nice. the way it is.”
don’t move, don’t move, don’t move.
“and you look fine without makeup. your eyes are the perfect size and so are your lips.”
keep still, keep still, keep still.
“you look good the way you are. you are good the way you are. perfect.”
“but, i’m no good for you. i hate myself and you didn’t even know until now. i don’t tell you a single thing about myself because i’m embarrassed . i hate me and you love me and i don’t know how you do it because all i am is fat and gross and-”
“no, you are so much more.”
and he kisses her. hard.
her hands roam around and her arms stretch. her fingers find something close to home against chanyeol’s neck. fingertips run down an adam’s apple and chanyeol’s hands search for plush waist, search for an hourglass figure, search for something he doesn’t have to let go of as they move. sink down into bed. they are a messy pile of limbs wrapped around each other. here is solace.
kyungsoon smells like the first fall of cherry blossoms in the spring. she tastes like stale coffee brewed in the morning and savoured in the afternoon. she feels so soft, so right in his arms as his hands cup her face. they look at each other. eye contact isn’t easy for kyungsoon, so chanyeol snapshots the moment with his eyes and tucks it into a mental scrapbook.
chanyeol may be a social butterfly, but kyungsoon is a different type of butterfly. she is the butterfly you see from a distance but do not approach. she is the butterfly you are terrified of scaring away. she is the butterfly you point out to all your friends and say, ‘look. isn’t that a pretty butterfly?’
sure, there are other butterflies. other girls. but this one is so precious, so rare. you don’t even want to jar it up. this butterfly has never been a caterpillar. this butterfly has always been beautiful.
“butterfly,” he says. she is confused. “you. you are a butterfly.”
they are breathless. they are gut-wrenching romcom. they are beautiful satire that you cannot put down. they are so wrong, but they are so right.
right now, it is all about they. in this room that seems to be shrinking, shrinking, shrinking, it is only they.
tears return and chanyeol soothes with kisses against flawless skin. legs part and chanyeol fits himself between them to fill the gap that shouldn’t be there.
she wants to cover herself up, but she can’t. she shouldn’t. she knows chanyeol doesn’t want her to. chanyeol wants to love her the way she should love herself. he is loving her properly, gently; the sound of skin against skin is a melody, harmonized with the sound of moans and whimpers and pants and mutters.
mouths. skin. press. say, “you’re perfect for me. please do not hate yourself because you think you are not good enough for me.”
unity arrives in the form of muscles clenching, louder sounds of ecstasy. here it is.
and then they lie down. kyungsoon stares at chanyeol and chanyeol stares at kyungsoon and here they are.
breaths even out and then blankets dress their bodies.
curled up against each other like this, they fit together perfectly. kyungsoon fits against chanyeol like a key into a lock. an onlooker would coo and say, ‘they look like such a perfect couple.’
fingers run through locks of natural-colored hair and small hands press against broad chest. they find home tucked against one another.
she leans up and says, “thank you for being so much more than i need you to be.”
and then she kisses him. hard.
Genre: romance
Rating: very very light r
Pairing: chanyeol x fem!kyungsoo
Synopsis: they are breathless. they are gut-wrenching romcom. they are beautiful satire that you cannot put down. they are so wrong, but they are so right.
Word Count: 2429
A/N: lapslock / x-posted to aff / very, very rough draft
butterfly
the off-white, peony-patterned wallpaper that wraps itself around the interior of kyungsoon’s room is the first thing chanyeol notices when he is led through a white door. the second thing he notices is the floral window sheer that hangs from a curtain rod on the other side of the room, pale and translucent against her equally pale walls.
this is the first time chanyeol has been in kyungsoon’s room and he is enamored by this hidden side of her, the secret femininity that she keeps guarded from everyone else. he understands why it had taken her so long to allow him in, the gesture is extremely intimate to her.
kyungsoon holds onto his hand tightly as she plops down on her bed. chanyeol assumes she’s nervous. he wonders when the last time there was a boy in here, he wonders if he’s the first to stumble his way into the private sanctuary of her home within a home.
“so, couple therapy?” she asks once the two of them are seated on her bed, legs criss-crossed and heads facing each other.
chanyeol has had this idea of ‘couple therapy’ for quite a while now, but he’s never had time to actually carry it out. it was always either, ‘i’m too busy, can’t hang out today’ or he just couldn’t bring it up without feeling awkward.
“not really ‘couple therapy’,” chanyeol says, making air quotes with his fingers. “it’s more like... i want to get to know you better.”
“get to know me better?” kyungsoon laughs airily and squints at chanyeol playfully. the action makes chanyeol’s heart want to burst into a thousand pieces. “don’t be silly, we know each other very well already.”
“well, i know all the good things about you,” one of kyungsoon’s eyebrows quirks up. “but i want to know what you think is bad about you. i don’t think i’ve ever heard you complain about yourself once to me, and you’d be lying if you said there isn’t anything you think is bad about yourself.”
“and you want me to just...spill the beans?” kyungsoon asks, her head tilting to the side. the next part is the part that chanyeol hesitates about.
“get undressed while you do it,” chanyeol begins. he sees kyungsoon’s eyebrows raise, and he quickly follows himself up with, “i want to see the parts of yourself that you hate so i can love them properly.”
the room falls silent after that. kyungsoon has her lip tucked between her teeth and she looks a bit apprehensive, but she soon lets go of chanyeol’s hand. she gets up and she pads her way towards her window. reaching behind her window sheers, she pulls down her window blinds, cutting off all light from coming into her room.
in the slight darkness, chanyeol can hear kyungsoon sigh softly. he hears her footsteps walk past him and to her door. she shuts it before she turns on the light.
as the artificial light filters through the room, she says, “if i’m going to do it, then you’re going to do it, too.”
chanyeol nods and gets off her bed, saying, “of course.”
he’s thankful her parents are out of the house today. this isn’t the first time that kyungsoon’s gotten undressed for him, it’s happened many times before. but this is more intimate because all of the past times had been quick and in the dark.
they face each other and they stand on the most vacant patch of carpet in her room. an onlooker would first notice their height difference. then, they would notice how different they look. they would notice chanyeol’s bad boy appearance and kyungsoon’s demure demeanor. the two of them aren’t the most attractive looking couple, but no one’s ever complained.
“so, uh,” chanyeol says. quite stupidly, at that. “lady first?”
kyungsoon laughs that same airy laugh and chanyeol hopes his face isn’t doing anything too embarrassing. she nods and she brings her hand up, pulling the hair tie keeping her pony tail up. she runs her fingers through the long tresses and brushes down the blunt bangs over her forehead before she says, “i really hate the natural color of my hair. your turn.”
chanyeol chuckles and he pulls his snapback off his head, laying it down on her bed neatly. “my ears are too big.”
“so are my eyes,” kyungsoon replies, a small smile creeping its way onto her face. she walks away and chanyeol is confused for a second, but then he realizes she’s finding some makeup remover and wiping the makeup off her face. when she returns, her face is bare and she says, “and my lips.”
“i don’t like the bump on my nose sometimes,” chanyeol runs his index finger down the slope of his nose.
“my arms are too fat,” kyungsoon starts. she unbuttons her baby pink blouse and chanyeol’s eyes rake over the expanse of her milky skin as she pulls the clothing to the floor. he watches her hands disappear behind her as she unhooks her bra. she lets that fall to the ground before continuing, “my boobs are lopsided.”
it takes chanyeol a moment to go on, but when he does, he pulls his grey hoodie off and says, “i don’t think my shoulders are broad enough. they look disproportionate.” he tugs his yellow shirt off as well.
there’s already a steady pile of clothing collecting on the floor, two separate hills of things to hide themselves behind. kyungsoon adds her dark blue skirt to one of the piles and as she steps out of it, she says, “my waist. i don’t like it at all. it doesn’t curve in the right way.”
a pair of blue jeans is kicked off of chanyeol’s legs and it joins his pile. “i walk a little bow-legged, and that’s a little embarrassing.”
“ah, i,” kyungsoon’s fingers slowly make their way to her underpants (boyshorts; chanyeol thinks they’re adorable). slowly, shyly, she pushes them down and nudges them aside with her feet. “i, uh, my thighs touch, and i don’t think that’s cute.”
kyungsoon is now nude and chanyeol joins her in such a state, pulling down his boxers. “i have a funny tan line on my legs from going on a vacation to mexico three years ago and that makes me really mad.”
bringing her hand up to cover her mouth, kyungsoon laughs lightly, almost giggles, shaking her head. chanyeol responds with a smile and a statement, “is there anything else?”
“i think i’m good.”
standing like this, the two of them don’t look like such a terrible match anymore. in the nude, they seem as if they fit together, chanyeol’s gangly arms a good balance to kyungsoon’s curvy figure. if an onlooker were to approach, they would first notice the softness of their gazes upon each others’ features.
the room stays silent for the time span of thirty synchronized heartbeats.
when chanyeol breaks the silence, he feels like his voice echoes too loudly in a room that suddenly seems so small. he says, “is that really it?”
“what do you mean?” kyungsoon smiles at chanyeol and the smile is almost all eyes. “i told you it was, didn’t i?”
“well, yeah, but all those things were physical,” chanyeol watches as the evident smile in kyungsoon’s eyes fades away. “there has to be something about your personality that you dislike. i mean, you call me the happiest person in the world and even i hate something about my personality.”
“well, what is it?” kyungsoon folds her arms over her chest and chanyeol assumes it’s out of self-consciousness. “i’ll tell you mine after you tell me yours.”
“okay,” a sigh follows this statement. the sigh is followed by, “i feel that i am too immature at times and that i can barely take care of myself, much less anything else.”
the next heartbeat is less synchronized. kyungsoon doesn’t say a word as her resting heart rate shoots up.
“and when i say ‘much less anything else’,” chanyeol’s breath hitches and kyungsoon’s follows suit. “i mean, i feel that i cannot take care of you as much as i’d like to.”
“it’s okay, you don’t have to take care of me,” kyungsoon says. this time, her mouth smiles but her eyes don’t. “i can take care of myself. just.. stick with me.”
“what about you?”
“what about me?”
chanyeol’s eyebrows furrow and kyungsoon looks down at the ground.
timidly, she mutters, “i often feel like i am not good enough for you.”
chanyeol’s heart speeds up to match up with kyungsoon’s. they are not aware, but their heartbeats fall in line. badump. badump. badump.
“i don’t think i’m pretty enough,” tears brim at her eyes. chanyeol wants to reach out and hold her. her lips are dry with confession and her tongue rains against lip skin. “i don’t think i am the right girl for you to love. i am too quiet, and you..”
artificial lighting doesn’t blind chanyeol as much as kyungsoon does.
“you’re a social butterfly. everyone loves you,” her arms tighten around her body and chanyeol wishes he could do the same to her. her voice quivers as she continues, “all i care about is school and that’s so lame, but all you care about is me when so many other people are caring about you.”
makeup residue stains kyungsoon’s cheeks. tears attempt to wash them away.
“why do you invest so much time in me when there are prettier girls out there? nicer girls. skinnier girls. girls that actually like to go out and party.”
chanyeol’s eyes fixate themselves on kyungsoon. kyungsoon’s eyes stare at the floor. toes curl against carpet. breaths speak more than voices do.
“you,” the word comes out as quiet as a breath. “you have all the potential in the world and here i am, weighing you down.”
“hey,” chanyeol says. he finally musters up the confidence to reach over and press his large hands against kyungsoon’s shoulders. he steadies her. she looks up. they exchange glances and he says again, “hey.”
kyungsoon lets out a sound that classifies itself as something between a sob and a laugh. she says, “hi. i’m sorry. i don’t know why i’m crying. i’m so ugly when i cry. it’s..embarrassing.”
“you’re beautiful,” chanyeol says. “so, so, beautiful.”
“don’t say that if you don’t mean it,” kyungsoon says. “i literally listed reasons why i’m not beautiful at all to you. how can you still say that and mean it?”
she brings one of her hands up and wipes at her eyes. she sniffles and chanyeol says, “no, don’t say that. please don’t say that, i..”
the room tries to steal his words, but he chokes them out anyway. his fingers thread themselves through her hair and weakly, he mumbles, “your hair. it’s nice. the way it is.”
don’t move, don’t move, don’t move.
“and you look fine without makeup. your eyes are the perfect size and so are your lips.”
keep still, keep still, keep still.
“you look good the way you are. you are good the way you are. perfect.”
“but, i’m no good for you. i hate myself and you didn’t even know until now. i don’t tell you a single thing about myself because i’m embarrassed . i hate me and you love me and i don’t know how you do it because all i am is fat and gross and-”
“no, you are so much more.”
and he kisses her. hard.
her hands roam around and her arms stretch. her fingers find something close to home against chanyeol’s neck. fingertips run down an adam’s apple and chanyeol’s hands search for plush waist, search for an hourglass figure, search for something he doesn’t have to let go of as they move. sink down into bed. they are a messy pile of limbs wrapped around each other. here is solace.
kyungsoon smells like the first fall of cherry blossoms in the spring. she tastes like stale coffee brewed in the morning and savoured in the afternoon. she feels so soft, so right in his arms as his hands cup her face. they look at each other. eye contact isn’t easy for kyungsoon, so chanyeol snapshots the moment with his eyes and tucks it into a mental scrapbook.
chanyeol may be a social butterfly, but kyungsoon is a different type of butterfly. she is the butterfly you see from a distance but do not approach. she is the butterfly you are terrified of scaring away. she is the butterfly you point out to all your friends and say, ‘look. isn’t that a pretty butterfly?’
sure, there are other butterflies. other girls. but this one is so precious, so rare. you don’t even want to jar it up. this butterfly has never been a caterpillar. this butterfly has always been beautiful.
“butterfly,” he says. she is confused. “you. you are a butterfly.”
they are breathless. they are gut-wrenching romcom. they are beautiful satire that you cannot put down. they are so wrong, but they are so right.
right now, it is all about they. in this room that seems to be shrinking, shrinking, shrinking, it is only they.
tears return and chanyeol soothes with kisses against flawless skin. legs part and chanyeol fits himself between them to fill the gap that shouldn’t be there.
she wants to cover herself up, but she can’t. she shouldn’t. she knows chanyeol doesn’t want her to. chanyeol wants to love her the way she should love herself. he is loving her properly, gently; the sound of skin against skin is a melody, harmonized with the sound of moans and whimpers and pants and mutters.
mouths. skin. press. say, “you’re perfect for me. please do not hate yourself because you think you are not good enough for me.”
unity arrives in the form of muscles clenching, louder sounds of ecstasy. here it is.
and then they lie down. kyungsoon stares at chanyeol and chanyeol stares at kyungsoon and here they are.
breaths even out and then blankets dress their bodies.
curled up against each other like this, they fit together perfectly. kyungsoon fits against chanyeol like a key into a lock. an onlooker would coo and say, ‘they look like such a perfect couple.’
fingers run through locks of natural-colored hair and small hands press against broad chest. they find home tucked against one another.
she leans up and says, “thank you for being so much more than i need you to be.”
and then she kisses him. hard.