Gallery of Unfortunate Christmas Cards
How do you pick out your Christmas cards? Do you pick something that will bring a smile or a laugh to the people you send them to? Do you prefer a card that remembers the religious origins of the holiday? Do you choose by aesthetics?
Or do you just grab whichever one's cheapest? The final option is the only reason imaginable for picking any of the cards in our Gallery of Unfortunate Christmas Cards. Why did someone make these cards in the first place? See if you can figure that one out, as you view the gallery.
First reaction: Oh, what a sweet little girl. Isn't she cute with her little pig tails and her dolly? And her wings? Wings? And she's on a little cloud. Oh dear...
It hits: Oh my God, this little girl is dead!
I know this is the theme of this whole section, but here I must emphasize: Who, in their right mind, would send out Christmas cards with a picture of a little dead girl!?!
Some girls, Santa likes naughty.
I don't know what the artist was thinking here. Maybe he was just testing a theory that no matter what, if you put kids and a dog on a card it will sell. Even if there's been come kind of horrible snow storm that has covered all the houses up to their second stories and the two children are dragging the frightened puppy toward a chimney.
The dog knows what he's in for, and he's fighting. It's two against one, though, and the little devil children are going to win.
Do you love this old man? If so, I'm sorry to tell you that, judging by this picture, he is dead. And evil.
Here's another nice card juxtaposing a lovely message of the holiday with massive vehicles of death. Why are the words holes in the clouds? Has the Navy shot the words? If so, who did they think would see? And why am I trying to make sense of this card?
STRANDED SANTA PART ONE: What's happened here? Looks like Santa's reindeer finally got sick of the constant lashings from St. Nick and dodging bullets every time they flew over Ted Nugent's house and just ditched Santa in the middle of a snow storm. All he's got to eat are some green sticks. He's dropping toys.
STRANDED SANTA PART TWO: Santa doesn't look like he's having a good time to me. A guy that fat can't be enjoying this long walk with a big sack on his back. At least the snow has died down, and there's a village ahead. Maybe someone will let him inside?
STRANDED SANTA PART THREE: Stop waving and let me in, damn it! No, the door! Go to the @(*&# door! The I'm freezing my bowl full of jelly off! Stop waving, you morons!
Oh, screw this. I'm going back to California.
HO, HO, HO...Merry Christmas and Happy Jesus-B-Day Everyone!!! (I just got home from church, lol and I'm so ridiculously cheerful, it's annoying everyone ;)heheheeee.)
Or do you just grab whichever one's cheapest? The final option is the only reason imaginable for picking any of the cards in our Gallery of Unfortunate Christmas Cards. Why did someone make these cards in the first place? See if you can figure that one out, as you view the gallery.
First reaction: Oh, what a sweet little girl. Isn't she cute with her little pig tails and her dolly? And her wings? Wings? And she's on a little cloud. Oh dear...
It hits: Oh my God, this little girl is dead!
I know this is the theme of this whole section, but here I must emphasize: Who, in their right mind, would send out Christmas cards with a picture of a little dead girl!?!
Some girls, Santa likes naughty.
I don't know what the artist was thinking here. Maybe he was just testing a theory that no matter what, if you put kids and a dog on a card it will sell. Even if there's been come kind of horrible snow storm that has covered all the houses up to their second stories and the two children are dragging the frightened puppy toward a chimney.
The dog knows what he's in for, and he's fighting. It's two against one, though, and the little devil children are going to win.
Do you love this old man? If so, I'm sorry to tell you that, judging by this picture, he is dead. And evil.
Here's another nice card juxtaposing a lovely message of the holiday with massive vehicles of death. Why are the words holes in the clouds? Has the Navy shot the words? If so, who did they think would see? And why am I trying to make sense of this card?
STRANDED SANTA PART ONE: What's happened here? Looks like Santa's reindeer finally got sick of the constant lashings from St. Nick and dodging bullets every time they flew over Ted Nugent's house and just ditched Santa in the middle of a snow storm. All he's got to eat are some green sticks. He's dropping toys.
STRANDED SANTA PART TWO: Santa doesn't look like he's having a good time to me. A guy that fat can't be enjoying this long walk with a big sack on his back. At least the snow has died down, and there's a village ahead. Maybe someone will let him inside?
STRANDED SANTA PART THREE: Stop waving and let me in, damn it! No, the door! Go to the @(*&# door! The I'm freezing my bowl full of jelly off! Stop waving, you morons!
Oh, screw this. I'm going back to California.
HO, HO, HO...Merry Christmas and Happy Jesus-B-Day Everyone!!! (I just got home from church, lol and I'm so ridiculously cheerful, it's annoying everyone ;)heheheeee.)