Woke up where you are
So i guess i really am better in a lot of aspects.
i dont seem to have as much bad air around me.
i suppose i should tell a little bit before the tediousness of old stories bekons me to stop.
all i know now is that im a lot better. a lot mroe complete of a person. as alive as this place will allow oyu to be.
ingredients to the cure:
i got plenty of women to numb my mind. to delve into the world of loveless affection and the passsion of being wanted. i got my chances to be sued and to use. nameless love. plenty of it. i broke the barrier of human purity. i was dead anyway, nothing to clean. just a baptism with dirty water.
a lot of smoking. my lungs are full of way to many chemicals.
thier packs of ciggarettes dont say some pussy ass warning they take up 3/4 of the box and say SMOKING IS FATAL, or my favorite SMOKING WILL KILL YOU, nothing aviodable about that. but its legal their and i was in no hurry to stay alive.
did some other wierd shit as well. dont really know what it was but it was really trippy.
a lot of drinking, but it was to expensive to get drunk in london.
on to the more theraputic side. past the killing myself.
the TATE modern was like a rip inside my very own mind. i serious left thier so much of a differnet person. every aspect of it held some huge meaning to my existance. to be in the pit of the artist. ir was a bath in the very essance of my mind and exporation of existance. even now as im trying this my eyes burn with tears of extasy in ways you cant imagine of being in a place were you can be.
stone henge was way trippy. we watched it for a long while listineing to zepplin.
i met so many poeple. i got a huge insight into peopel and plitics and existance beyond that of my own imagination.
i met a lot of actors. like real actors not the shit wanna be teens hear. not self proclaimed experts but the humbel specialist and professionals. flipped my mind a lot.
went to a bunch of art musuems and quickly learned the difference between an artist and an artisan.
saw myself through many different eyes. the most important of which being through the eyes of the girl i was "with" thier. since the story is only half mine i dont have the right to tell it. but she taught me a lot without teaching me anything. its amazing what dead eyes can see.
thier was so much more. this trip did more for my self then i wanted. its good. i hope i dont die to quickly in the uncultured apathy of this place.
so i guess i should also talk about her as well.
i dont know, havent heard anything about her and him. i dont knwo if thier together, i dont really give a dam. i thoguht about her a lot. i thought about a lot of romantic things would say and do for her, and laughed at the fact that they will have no use for me. what a waste right. yeah.
well anyway, im tired of loveless love....kinda, i suppose i ahve eyes for a new relationship. i hope someone better then her. i mean. i dont know, im a lot better now. and thinking back, if i didnt love her so mcuh, she would ahve annoyed the hell out of me. i mean. i dont know. she was fun to be with, but not uber fun to be with. whatever, she is still the most beautiful and smartest and hgreatest girl of all time. even more then maria, the norwegin girl from the hotel across the street from ours.
now, is this not a divine joke. a battle of hormones and circimstance:
for like 8 monthes i poured my heart and soul into her. bought her flowers and everyhitng else. loved her with ever essence of my being. i woyuld ahve dote anythitng with her.
i knew this maria girl for 1 day. not even like 4 hours. she was beautiufl, i swear to go looked just like paris hilton. i didnt do anyhting but speak a few romantic words and look pretty and i got inside of her. 1 night.
wheres the jsutice and whats the porpous.
i dont seem to have as much bad air around me.
i suppose i should tell a little bit before the tediousness of old stories bekons me to stop.
all i know now is that im a lot better. a lot mroe complete of a person. as alive as this place will allow oyu to be.
ingredients to the cure:
i got plenty of women to numb my mind. to delve into the world of loveless affection and the passsion of being wanted. i got my chances to be sued and to use. nameless love. plenty of it. i broke the barrier of human purity. i was dead anyway, nothing to clean. just a baptism with dirty water.
a lot of smoking. my lungs are full of way to many chemicals.
thier packs of ciggarettes dont say some pussy ass warning they take up 3/4 of the box and say SMOKING IS FATAL, or my favorite SMOKING WILL KILL YOU, nothing aviodable about that. but its legal their and i was in no hurry to stay alive.
did some other wierd shit as well. dont really know what it was but it was really trippy.
a lot of drinking, but it was to expensive to get drunk in london.
on to the more theraputic side. past the killing myself.
the TATE modern was like a rip inside my very own mind. i serious left thier so much of a differnet person. every aspect of it held some huge meaning to my existance. to be in the pit of the artist. ir was a bath in the very essance of my mind and exporation of existance. even now as im trying this my eyes burn with tears of extasy in ways you cant imagine of being in a place were you can be.
stone henge was way trippy. we watched it for a long while listineing to zepplin.
i met so many poeple. i got a huge insight into peopel and plitics and existance beyond that of my own imagination.
i met a lot of actors. like real actors not the shit wanna be teens hear. not self proclaimed experts but the humbel specialist and professionals. flipped my mind a lot.
went to a bunch of art musuems and quickly learned the difference between an artist and an artisan.
saw myself through many different eyes. the most important of which being through the eyes of the girl i was "with" thier. since the story is only half mine i dont have the right to tell it. but she taught me a lot without teaching me anything. its amazing what dead eyes can see.
thier was so much more. this trip did more for my self then i wanted. its good. i hope i dont die to quickly in the uncultured apathy of this place.
so i guess i should also talk about her as well.
i dont know, havent heard anything about her and him. i dont knwo if thier together, i dont really give a dam. i thoguht about her a lot. i thought about a lot of romantic things would say and do for her, and laughed at the fact that they will have no use for me. what a waste right. yeah.
well anyway, im tired of loveless love....kinda, i suppose i ahve eyes for a new relationship. i hope someone better then her. i mean. i dont know, im a lot better now. and thinking back, if i didnt love her so mcuh, she would ahve annoyed the hell out of me. i mean. i dont know. she was fun to be with, but not uber fun to be with. whatever, she is still the most beautiful and smartest and hgreatest girl of all time. even more then maria, the norwegin girl from the hotel across the street from ours.
now, is this not a divine joke. a battle of hormones and circimstance:
for like 8 monthes i poured my heart and soul into her. bought her flowers and everyhitng else. loved her with ever essence of my being. i woyuld ahve dote anythitng with her.
i knew this maria girl for 1 day. not even like 4 hours. she was beautiufl, i swear to go looked just like paris hilton. i didnt do anyhting but speak a few romantic words and look pretty and i got inside of her. 1 night.
wheres the jsutice and whats the porpous.