Growing Down - Chapter Seven
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Chapter 7
Their limbs tangled as they moved towards each other as if on instinct, unable to control the magnetism that drew their bodies together and sparked when their lips touched. As he was pushed towards the bed he let it happen. He let his knees bend when he felt the mattress against his calves, let Nick push his legs up so his bare feet were flat on the comforter, thighs spread open and inviting. He leaned against his elbows to get a better view as he watched Nick stick a few fingers in his mouth, getting them slick as his other hand pressed against the older Jonas' thigh. It was hot as he watched his baby brother, his Nicky, getting those fingers ready, knowing what sort of promise they held. His body was used to this, used to Nick, and he needed his brother in ways he'd never in a million years be able to explain to anyone so they would be able to understand it. He let it happen because he couldn't bring himself to say no.
There was so much emotion in him for the situation, for Nick, mostly he was confused. Without a doubt he loved his brother, probably more than he ever should have, but it was one of the catches, so to speak, to being in love: you didn’t get to choose whom with. He was still angry at Nick for lying, angry at how he just expected Joe to accept him back, and angry at his own damned body for just needing this so much - needing him so much. Always, too, was the longing for more with Nick, that impossible want for a more normal relationship wherein they didn’t have to worry about what anyone else thought about them. Unconventional had sort of always been his thing, and Nick? He didn’t follow, he led. But in this they had been outsmarted, bested by society’s locked box they kept the inhabitants of the world in. Just because something didn’t fit into the normal, stereotypical relationships didn’t make it wrong.
That first, easy slide in of Nick’s index finger made both of them gasp, the only tell of just how long they’d been apart. Legs opened wider, finger sliding in and out of the exposed entrance, both boys watching the procession like it was better than the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade. Well, it was, in a way, it was better than a lot of things, actually. A second finger slid in alongside the first, burying themselves past the knuckles and Joe hissed in pain. They stopped, but only briefly as they pulled out, pushing back in a bit further this time.
“You, um,” Nick said, licking his lips, voice barely louder than a whisper. “You’re really tight.” Joe rolled his eyes. Duh, he thought, a moment of his previous anger resurfacing. It has been over four months. A startled yelp escaped his full lips when Nick shoved his fingers all the way inside, separating them in a scissor-like motion that caused a sharp pain. He glared at his brother who only wore a smug smirk in response, a don’t you roll your eyes at me sort of expression and the gliding of fingers inside of him resumed their earlier, slowed pace.
“Fuck, Jesus, Nick!” he gasped, catching his breath. Then those fingers twisted up and he moaned, cock twitching where it lay against his tanned stomach as tiny shockwaves ran through his body and a few drops of wet dripped onto his stomach. He was nowhere near close, but he was sweating a bit now, and so was Nick. He forced his eyes to focus as he watched Nick’s free hand slowly jerk himself off, those solid brown eyes fixed intently on his own face. “Nicky,” he whined, which only made the younger man bite his lip.
He felt those fingers slide in and out without any resistance at all and groaned when they slipped free, slumping a bit and realizing just how tense his body had been. He knew he should probably be stretched a bit more, but really didn’t care at the moment. “Move over,” he heard and looked up, then scooted back until he was lying in the center of the one, queen-sized bed in the room. Nick crawled onto the bed, steadily coming closer like a beast with his eye on the prize. ‘Never take your eye off the ball,’ Nick used to say when they played sports, and he was definitely in it to win it.
He lifted his hips as Nick placed a pillow underneath his ass for the added leverage before pulling one of those tanned calves over his own paler shoulder, spitting in his hand and adding to the pre-come already spread across his shaft. It glistened in the dim glow cast by the lamp across the room as he inched closer until the very tip of him was pressing against where it wanted to be. “Just do it,” Joe whispered, biting his tongue. This was going to hurt. They didn’t have lube, he wasn’t stretched nearly enough, but he would adjust and his body would reform around having Nick inside of him.
Then, he did it. Joe let out his breath in a rush as he felt just the head inside of him and he forced himself to relax muscle by muscle, knowing it would make it easier on both of them if he did. Nick took another inch and Joe hissed in surprise, pain flaring throughout his body and seeming to originate from the point of contact. “I swear you’re tighter now than you were the first time,” Nick muttered, pulling out half an inch before pushing a bit further in. With a quiet whimper, Joe adjusted the angle as he rotated his hips, feeling Nick slide in the rest of the way and his eyes watered because it did hurt. “Mmm, yesss,” Nick said just as quietly, head falling back and eyes closing as he waited for Joe to give him the go ahead.
This was it, Joe realized with a shock. His last chance to tell Nick not to do this, that he was still mad and didn’t want this. Oh, Hell, anyone would be able to tell from how hard his dick was that he wanted it, at least in body. His mind, though, was a bit more conflicted on the matter. Then Nick moved again and he just mumbled, “You were also a little bit smaller the first time around.” A grin split those perfect lips, uneven teeth bare to an audience of the one person who probably appreciated it most, and Nick took that as a sign that Joe was fine and started moving once more.
Slowly, as if he were afraid to hurt his older brother, Joe felt as Nick dragged out and pushed back in, angling upwards trying to find that spot that would cause Joe to make these delicious noises in his throat. He knew that those noises were more precious to Nick than any song he’d ever written. Just the fact that Nick was trying to find it, even now when everything was so muddled and messy, made Joe’s anger seep just a little further from him. He brought up one hand to ruffle those curls, then gasped when Nick found what he was looking for, hand tightening into a fist and pulling a bit.
It had always given Joe a dark satisfaction that made his stomach twist when the President yelped like that for him, just like how Nick did when he pulled on those soft tresses, and he couldn’t help but smile at the familiar sound and how hair-pulling was the one pain that turned the younger man on. Although neither man was particularly young anymore, their kinks haven’t really changed except to include a few choice toys when given the opportunity to indulge. But, really, their truest kinks had always been each other. As Nick’s hips moved a bit faster, fingers digging roughly into Joe’s thighs just how the fifty-four year old liked it, he was reminded of this more than ever.
Each time Nick pushed back in he could feel himself stretching, it was slightly painful, slightly itchy, but otherwise just the feeling of that long, slick muscle moving in him was a turn-on. Finally, the pain eased and Nick was hitting his prostate more and more often, enough to distract from the pain that was still dimly lingering and he whispered, “Faster.” Nick smirked and then obliged, hips moving at an alarming pace as if he’d been holding back immensely just how much he needed this. His mouth was slightly ajar, eyes unfocused as he leaned forward, Joe’s hip complained with an intense pain at the joint, but everything else felt too damn good for him to say anything about it.
A lifetime of being quiet, of having to stifle the sounds of their love-making, was perfect practice for a dingy motel with paper-thin walls, it turned out. Not that they hadn’t done exactly this in better (or worse) places before, no, they were masters of being quiet if they had to be. And when one of them was the President of the United States and was having the love affair that could end him? Yeah, they pretty much always had to be quiet. “Shit,” Nick whispered, turning his head and biting into the flesh of Joe’s inner thigh down by his knee, and the pain was just this side of tolerable that it added to the sensations overwhelming his body. “I don’t think I’m going to last very long,” Nick admitted when he’d finally let go of Joe’s leg.
He felt one of Nick’s hands wrap around his dick and his eyes widened, zings of pleasure now attacking from the two most sensitive parts of his body and a nail flicked over the tip. “Fuck!” he said, a bit louder than he’d intended, hips thrashing to meet Nick’s, messing up his brother’s neat rhythm. It didn’t take long to rebuild, and this new one was harder - faster. Nick was suddenly slamming into him as if he intended to go clear out the other side and Joe’s nails raked red lines along Nick’s arms, not hard enough to draw blood, but enough to raise the flesh and leave them pink for hours.
They were both sweating heavily and Joe could feel his hands slipping where they gripped Nick’s arms, could feel the grimy drip of it down his back, his neck, everywhere! The temperature in the room had risen at least ten degrees, but neither would have opened a window lest they got caught. And they were fucking. It was needy, full of greed for each other - full of passion for each other. They needed each other like the Earth needs the sun, and they coveted each other because they weren’t allowed to want this, weren’t allowed to have this. They were two of the world’s most eligible bachelors; shouldn’t others at least have a real shot at them? They weren’t supposed to be with each other, they were brothers and that broke all the rules. If someone liked someone else, one of the last people they should have to be worried about stealing them away was a family member.
As if that weren’t enough, there was so much of them that belonged to the world - to the people. Their fans, and in Nick’s case, the United States citizens, but that was an entirely different sort of thing. Instead, the two were wrapped up in each other, and Romeo and Juliet? They didn’t have anything on this. Flesh pressed against flesh, the sound of balls slapping against Joe’s ass was louder than their muffled moans, their breaths coming short and heavy, strained and full of effort. In, out, up and down, and with a twist of Nick’s wrist, that was it, pushing Joe over the edge. His vision blurred and he screwed his eyes shut, small lights dancing in tantalizing patterns on the inside of his lids as his body writhed and jerked, painting Nick’s chest, and his own, in lines of pearly white liquid.
It didn’t take long before Nick pushed in one final time, hands gripping Joe’s hips so hard his knuckles were white as he spilled his own hot seed into Joe. Nothing new here, but everything felt new, everything felt so real, so, so - so technicolor. Ever since the incident and Joe had believed Nick to be dead, it was like everything was in black and white, when he’d found out Nick was alive a few shades of gray crept back pretending to be color but this was an entirely different story. Joe felt alive again, he felt like himself again, and color (along with the world) seemed to pop back into existence just like that for him as he opened his eyes slowly, taking in the shaky appearance of the amazing man on top of him.
On top turned into next to as Nick slipped out, curling onto his side and wrapping an arm and a leg around Joe rather possessively, even if the motion were completely passive and subconscious. And Joe stroked his hair, his skin, anything he could reach because his body had missed it so much. It was almost habit to touch Nick, to cuddle with him - to be with him. He needed Nick like he needed air, it was necessary for survival. The fight they’d been having? It could wait, it would wait, but Joe made a promise to himself that he wouldn’t be so hard on Nick this time around.
“This,” Joe breathed, catching his brother’s attention. “This feels nice.” He smiled and kissed Nick’s forehead, “Just this.” An eyebrow rose as if he was too lazy to ask Joe to elaborate and Nick just stared at him curiously. “Just,” Joe shrugged, trying to find the right words to explain the bubble of happiness that was curled inside his chest. “Knowing I can stay in your bed all night, that I don’t have to leave for somewhere else in an hour, it’s just nice.”
“Yeah,” Nick breathed, and Joe felt fingers trailing over his stomach, his chest, up to his collarbone and then making their slow progression back down, making a neat pattern Joe couldn’t quite put a shape to. “It’s a nice feeling knowing we can spend the night together and not worry about getting caught.” The only time they got to do that was rare, if they were on a trip somewhere and were sharing a room. But even then there were usually two beds and they had to be in separate ones by the time morning came. “It’s nice not to worry about getting caught.” Nick repeated and took a deep breath before adding, as if he were reading Joe’s mind, “I can’t stay hidden forever, Joe.”
Inhaling sharply, Joe let out the air in his lungs in a slow, deliberate way before he finally said, “I know, Nick. I would never ask you to.” It’d be a lie to say the thought hadn’t crossed his mind, and now more than ever was a golden opportunity. They could run off to some remote location, just the two of them, and have their happily ever after. Joe longed for the white picket fence, and having Nick to complete the picture, but he’d settled for another house whose exterior was very white. “Still, maybe someday, when everyone forgets we exist,” he added hopefully.
He looked down, saw the small smile on Nick’s lips, and the ember of hope grew into a small flame. Maybe, just maybe, he’d be able to get Nick to come around to his way of thinking. Nick fell asleep like that, they were holding each other, smiling, and naked as the day they’d been born, bodies sticky as the sweat and spunk cooled and dried slowly on their skin. They didn’t even bother pulling the blanket up, body heat being enough at least for a little while.
He kept almost falling asleep, Nick’s light snores as soft background noise that he hadn’t heard in far too long, but it was no use. It was getting colder and as close as he pressed his body to Nick’s (and he took any excuse he could get) he finally had to resort to somehow getting the blanket and sheets out from under their bodies to on top. He winced at the pain the motion had caused his rear and decided properly being stretched before sex wasn’t over-rated after all. But he just pulled Nick closer under the covers, too awake to fall asleep but too content to move, so he let himself enjoy just being with Nick. It was a luxury, sharing the bed with his lover, and he knew better than to waste a single moment of it.
~*~*~
He woke up to his phone alarm much, much too soon in his opinion, wondering when he’d fallen asleep, and felt the insistent press of Nick’s morning wood against his hip and he sighed. Turning so he and his brother were face to face, he smiled as he noticed those brown eyes were open. “Morning,” he said softly, leaning in the place a soft kiss on Nick’s lips. His alarm went off again and he frowned, turning to try and locate the incessantly beeping device and finding it in his jeans pocket on the floor.
“I dreamed about us last night,” Nick said, and Joe looked back at him as he finally shut off the phone altogether, climbing back beneath the sheets. Nick only smirked and said, “You thought you were so clever, trying to convince me it was merely for the sake of sating your curiosity that you wanted to kiss me in all those places.”
Joe felt a blush creep up his neck as he remembered all too well the incident Nick was inaccurately describing. “I was just curious,” he said in self-defense. Looking back, he knew that it had been more than that, but at the time he’d mistaken his longing for his brother for anything he could manage to get away with. From any excuse to drape an arm around him, hug him, press their foreheads together - experiment for the sake of ‘science’ together. Yeah, he’d been in love even then. Hell, he was pretty sure he’d been in love since that night in Paris. He cast a sidelong look at his sibling, “Care for a reenactment?” and the President’s face looked so much younger as his head fell back and he laughed, his own words thrown back at him from so long ago.
“You have no idea,” Nick said with a grin before their lips met again.
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