"Passenger" (Chapter 11)
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc of the "Twilight: Saga" are the property of Stephanie Meyer. The original characters and plot are the property of said author. No copyright infringement is intended.
"Give me your lips for just a moment,
And my imagination will make that live.
Give me what you alone can give,
A kiss to build a dream on.
Ah sweetheart, I ask no more than that,
A kiss to build a dream on." *
Chapter Eleven - Jacob's POV
"That's all I could wish for Jacob," Bella responded and I could literally feel my heart double in size. To know for sure, to hear the words, that Bella wanted to spend our lives together, was just more than I could imagine. We had a long road ahead of us, but now that she was back home, hopefully to stay, and we both were on path to wanting the same things from each other, I was confident we could make this work.
I told her that I had forgiven her for leaving, and I have, but that doesn't mean I'm not scared out of my mind that she's going to just take off again. She's broken me once, and letting this happen - letting us happen, just means she can break me that much more the second time, especially once she finds out the truth about Katie. I don't even know how I'm suppose to tell her that I've imprinted, it seems like it happen a hundred years ago. But this is not something I can keep from her just because I fear her reaction. The longer I wait, the worst it will be. And the longer I wait, the worse the pull is becoming. I need to have some sort of serious commitment with Bella to focus off - to have something to keep fighting for.
"Jacob, are you okay? You look like you're a million miles away." I looked down at Bella, still cradled to my chest. I cleared my throat, not sure what I should, and shouldn't say, to her now.
"Sorry sweetheart, I'm perfectly fine - Just really happy that you're home." She smiled so beautifully, and I tried my best to mask my fears with a slight smile of my own. I leaned down, pulling her up at the same time to meet my lips. She pressed her body into mine, and the graze of her tongue against my bottom lip sent a wave of unadulterated pleasure through me.
I tangled my fingers into the hair at the nape of her neck, tugging her gently closer to me, and pushed her back, pinning her between the car door and myself. She jumped just a little, hitching her left leg over my right thigh. I reached down to her other leg, still bare from the short and deathly sexy dress she wore. As we continued to kiss, I ran my hand from her knee up her thigh, pressing the tips of my fingers in her firm skin. I continued running my hand up, behind her to her panty line, and with a unyielding grasp on her ass, I pulled her other leg up so both were now wrapped around me. I leaned into her and she moaned into my mouth, tightening her legs, she sucked in my bottom lip through her teeth and bit on it lightly.
"You are not playing fair," I teased. We were out in the front of her house, her father and friend right inside the house where they could have a perfect view of us, so this sort of foreplay was not going to get us anywhere in the moment. My words though, only made her kiss me deeper.
"Are you honestly complaining right now?" Bella whispered between kisses along my jaw line.
"You will never hear complaints out of me, when you're behaving, like this." I brought my mouth down to kiss her neck, across her collar bone, and down to the tops of her breasts. She leaned her head back, and another soft moan escaping from her lips, just made me want to have all of her that much more.
I brought the hand I still had on the back of her legs up and under her dress, slowly grazing the silkily soft skin of her stomach, and then caressing one of her breasts - which to my surprise was not covered by anything else. I figured at this point she was going to stop me, I very well knew that we should, but instead her breath quickened at my touch, and I found myself practically panting as well.
A few more moments of exploring each other with our mouths and hands had passed, when all of a sudden Bella started moving away from me. I opened my eyes to find that she was feeling around, her eyes still closed, for the handle to open the back door to the car.
"What are you doing Bella?" I asked.
"What does it look like I'm doing Jacob?" She responded, in a not very innocent voice.
"We can't," I struggled to get out, because saying no to her in this situation was pure torture. However, no matter how much I wanted it, no matter how much I wanted to take Bella at the moment, there was no way I would allow the first time we made love to happen in the back seat of my car. I tried to show her a look of reassurance, that I wanted this to happen but the timing just wasn't right, but she still looked hurt anyway, as if I didn't want her. Before I could explain tho, we were interrupted.
"Seriously dude, get a freaking room you two, for Godsake. No one wants to see your homemade porn video." Seth laughed out, and without looking behind me, I could hear Cass was with him, chuckling as well. I lowered Bella gently to the ground; her cheeks flushed bright red and lips swollen. We both took in a deep breath, and slowly turned towards the firing squad.
"Please, you're just jealous you're not getting any right now," Bella, surprisingly said with confidence and a snarky smile. Seth's jaw dropped, and Cass rolled her eyes, punching him lightly on the shoulder.
"Please girlfriend, after the night this boy just had, I don't think he's jealous of the PG-13 show you all were putting on out here," Cass rebutted, and I had never seen Seth blush, but right now he was a neon red stop sign. I immediately became fearful for the thoughts I would be subjected to seeing next time we were phased together.
"I think that's my queue to get out of here, let you girls get some sleep." I said. "Seth, you want a ride home, or are you running back?"
"Nah, I'll take a ride thanks, I'm beat." He turned to Cass to say goodnight, and I turned back to Bella to do the same.
"Are you sure you have to go?" She asked, a bit of sultriness still left in her tone. I wanted to make sure she knew why I was stopping her before, and not leave her thinking I was rejecting her in anyway.
"Yeah, unfortunately I do. Though, that is the last thing I want to do. I have you Bella, I will never want to be anywhere but where you are now… but, I have to pick up patrols in a few hours, so I should go get some sleep. Plus, I don't think Charlie would appreciate finding me in bed with you." I gave her a sly smile and wink, and then pulled her back into my arms for a goodnight kiss.
"Alrighty you two, Bella let's get in the house before your father finds us out here," Cass interrupted.
I looked to Bella, not wanting to leave, and caressed her soft, still slightly flushed, cheek with the back of my hand. She parted her lips just slightly, and invitation that I hoped was for another quick kiss, which I of course graciously accepted.
"You need to tell her man, and soon." Seth began lecturing me the minute we got into the car. I let out a long and frustrated sigh. Like this wasn't something I didn't already know.
"Dude, I know. I just don't know when, or how to tell her. We just started out, and we've already been through so much. Why can't I just be selfish and let the two of us be happy for a little while?"
"You can be as selfish as you want Jake, but it's not going to last very long when she finds out you didn't tell her. She's either going to find out on her own, or someone is going to blab to her, and we all know that someone is probably going to be my sister. Now that Bella's back in town, it's like Leah's main point of interest to somehow bring her down or something." We both shook our heads - we loved Leah, but she really was a serious bitch.
"How do I tell Bella that before she even left town I imprinted on some random girl I ran into at the supermarket? That I even considered just letting the imprint happen, after she had left, even if I changed my mind? How do I reassure her she'll have nothing to worry about though, because I choose her? Bella is not stupid, she understands how imprinting works; she's never going to believe that I fought off the imprint, that I am still fighting it off everyday because I love her more." I veered the car off quickly to the side of the road, screeching the tires against the asphalt from stopping it so shortly. I felt the wolf inside me begging to come out.
"Jake just calm down, all you need to do is talk to her. Explain to her; show her that you really have chosen her. She'll believe you. She has to. Because… because I am hoping with all my heart that fighting off an imprint is something we can successfully do. I need you and Bella to be together because that means that I know I can love whoever I want without fear." Seth sounded almost as frantic as I did, and I realized then just how big of a deal it was to some of the Pack to have the freedom of not worrying about imprinting. Some of them may have seen it as a blessing, but most of us just saw it for the curse that it was.
"I'll tell her Seth, I promise. And trust me, if I can do this, you can too. The Pack doesn't need to worry about being bound to someone because of mythical old-school wolf crap. We can fight this, look at me for proof of that okay? I will prove to all of you that you can fight off an imprint, and choose to love only who you want to love." I tried to keep my voice as reassuring as I could, but deep down I wasn't sure if I even believed myself.
No matter how much I loved Bella, how much I wanted everything to work out between us, I still had a nagging feeling of longing for another girl I did not want to give a shit about. I needed to find a way to break the ridiculous spell imprinting had on me, no matter how faint it was now. I'm going to have to tell Bella the truth of what's going on, and hope like hell she believes that I am trying everything I can to fight this, and spend my life only with her - to love only her.
More than anything, I needed to figure out the right way to tell her, that isn't going to cause her to run away from me again. I don't know how much longer I can fight off the imprint if Bella leaves again.
To be continued...
A/N: Yeah, Jacob POV! Hope you all enjoyed! I know it's not too long of a chapter, but I like to keep the JPOV's a little short so not too much is given away. :) Sooo, any theories on what you think will happen next?
Thank you as always for all the wonderful reviews - I hope to hear from you on this chapter as well. Until the next chapter! XoXo - Vanessa
*"A Kiss to Build a Dream on" - Lewis Armstrong