try this out..
Post anything that you want and post it anonymously. Anything. A story, a secret, a confession, a hate, a fear, a love- anything. Be sure to post anonymously and honestly. Post as many times as you'd like. Then, put this in your LiveJournal to see what your friends (and perhaps others who you don't even realize read your LiveJournal) have to say.
i used to sometimes wish for that same thing.
and then my life did get really fucked up. and ppl were lost. and bad things happened.
believe me- once you get there all you will ever wish for is for things to be good again and for life not to be as painful. but the thing is that you can't go back. once you have pain and loss in your life it just becomes something that you live with, a badge you have to wear all the time.
and believe me, pain will find you in life. it finds all of us.
so just consider yourself blessed and enjoy the time you have that is not filled with suffering.
suffering teaches you a lot about life and it certainly builds (or breaks) character. but it all comes at a cost, and i for one, will attest that the cost is NOT worth the gain.
don't worry. life is complicated. but it all works out how it's meant to...
ok i'm thinking of this quote...
"If you go to visit a friend in the hospital who is sick and while you are there you catch his disease then what good have you done?"
and i know that i'm not going to explain this well but if you're suffering it makes it a hell of a lot harder to help relieve the suffering of other people b/c so much of your strength is tied up in trying to mend yourself, let alone others. so not only can you consider it a personal blessing that your life is "better" or "easier" than others but it's a blessing for other ppl too b/c you'll be better able to serve them (i mean not in a "servant" way but as a servant to humanity and a good friend and all that).
ok i'm done!
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"ok i'm done!"
even though i didn't mean it! :)
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that really helped me. its good to hear it from someone who understands, and whos not gonna just give me dirty looks for being ungrateful (although you cant really give a dirty look over livejournal, but you know what i mean)... i will remember what you said, and just live for right now, and enjoy it. and maybe i can be a help to my friends, even if i dont fully understand what they are going through--because as you said, i have the energy in me still that they might be lacking bacause of their pain.
well anyway, thank you!
its funny how we might even know each other, but we have no idea, because of this whole anonymous thing. its kinda cool though... because then it doesnt matter who you are, you can say anything.
ok im done!
(haha)
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