Selling myself.

[vandygoddess]

There are people I know that are going through far more difficult things than me, but I gotta let this out. Rock bottom. My whole body hurts. My brain hurts, it's like it has slowed down. It's like an overcast day in my mind. I don't want to get out of bed. I have been spending a lot of time in my bed. I should be going all cylinders on the job search getting my life in order. I manage to build up the strength, usually around midnight every night. I go for two to three hours before becoming demoralized.

I feel like an old hooker. Trying to figure out how to get these Johns to love me more. Maybe if I put on a little more lipstick. Maybe if I lower my neckline a little bit more, shake my ass in a new way. Maybe someone will pull over and give me a couple dollars.

I am trying to get up the belief in myself to actually sell myself. More and more I think I am going to have to supplement my income by selling my services. I figure I can do life coaching via skype. You do not need any certification to be a life coach, you just do it. I figure if I can get people to pay me to help them work through their problems online, it's worth a shot. The only question is how to market myself.

But bottom line, once I stop being sad about being a whore, I'm going to be the best whore I can be.